Leave the Lights Off
by TheGreenBook
Summary: On a cold and rainy London night, Will Herondale shows up on Magnus Bane's door step, cold, wet, and in search of  something he desperately needs. Slash and lemons, M rated content, Will/Magnus and Will/Jem. Please enjoy and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I wanted to write this since the moment I read the Clockwork Angel Epilogue. Although all sources point to the following not being the complete reason for why Will went to see Magnus, I think we can all agree that we did, for a moment, consider this happening. This story starts in the midst of the Clockwork Angel Epilogue and goes from there.**

**As with most everything I write, there is an element of slash in this. As for now it's a one shot but I have this bad habit of continuing stories I write so who knows. However, I'll probably bump up the rating to M for the next chapter, so keep that in mind. Also, with everything I write on this site, I OWN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS. This is a work of fiction and it should be treated as such and enjoyed immensely. Thanks for reading!**

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><p><strong>Leave the Lights Off<strong>

Will is soaking wet when he rings the door bell, and his shins ache from picking up his soaked pant legs as he stomped through each and every puddle to get here. He's freezing cold and he hasn't drunk nearly enough to take the edge off any discomfort he's feeling. After a moment, there are heavy footsteps inside the door, and then the door opens. The doorman ushers Will in. Every noise from outside is swallowed in the vacuum of silence just inside the door. The house feels like a tomb, as if only death has dwelled here for many years.

The only light in the house comes from the candle the doorman is holding, and from a square of light at the far end of the long corridor that the imposing doorman was blocking. The candlelight reflects off the man's face and shadows pool beneath his eyes, making him look demonic. Will's fingers twitch in his palm, prepared to release the seraph blade he keeps against his forearm but then the cruel realizations sets in when Will realizes he is completely unarmed. The doorman glares, and Will asks to see the master of the house. Will follows the doorman down a long, dark, cold hallway to a brightly lit parlor where a fire burns in a fireplace. He's told to wait, and told that "Mr. Bane will be with you shortly."

Will waits.

It has taken so very long to get to this point. This was always an option Will never thought he would need to use. It has been so many months of denial, and distraction. Thinking when he shouldn't be thinking. Looking into silver eyes in the midst of a sweaty training session and instead thinking about how he could just as easily get lost in a pair of green cat eyes. Will can even remember the day, not so long ago, when Jem told him,

"You aren't enough for me, anymore."

But Will remained faithful to Jem. There had been an agreement when they swore as parabatai, that Will belonged to Jem and Jem belonged to Will, until the very end. Then Tessa has arrived, unexpectedly, and Will began to doubt every promise he and Jem had ever made.

It started with disapproval and then dissatisfaction, and Will thought that Jem might just be getting restless, that he didn't want a boy to sneak off to forgotten corners of the Institute with anymore. He didn't want the awkward groping through layers of clothing or the half dressed tease in Henry's crypt between training sessions. The thrill of sneaking around and pleasuring one another in near silence was gone. Now, Jem wants a girl to walk about town with, to hold hands with in the Library, and to be with in ways Will and Jem can't be, not in the eyes of the Clave, society, or anyone. Jem wants a girl, and Will just wants Jem.

Will remembers tonight and it's like a dagger through his heart. After Tessa came to the Institute, but in the days leading up to tonight, Jem regarded Tessa with a reverent respect. Before tonight, there was only the occasional shy touch, the sad smile, and the briefest of moments when Will left them alone.

Tonight, after Will descended from the roof, he had walked past the music room to hear Jem talking softly with Tessa. There were words said about the right man not caring and when Will looked through a crack in the door, he saw Jem looking at Tessa like he cared for her as more than just a friend. Jem looked at Tessa like he had been looking for her all along. Jem looked at Tessa the way he used to look at Will.

Then there was a feminine hand tangled in silver hair, a clockwork angel clutched between two beating hearts, and two pairs of lips pressed in a gentle embrace.

Will remembers how Jem's lips used to feel against his, and he runs his fingers over his mouth now and feels dry and cracked lips that burn whenever he licks them and bleed unexpectedly. The pain in his mouth distracts him from the burning ache in his chest that hasn't gone away since he saw Jem and Tessa together that way.

It's heart breaking, to know he'll never be enough for Jem. They've gotten older now and they don't kiss the way they used to kiss. There used to be such a fire between them, and Jem kissed with a thirst that Will could barely quench. Now, Will finds his hands touching Jem's, but he finds Jem's hands pulling away, avoiding what he used to welcome. Will finds Jem finding excuses…

"She has so many questions, Will. It's only right…"

And then, tonight. Was that only right?

So many girls that could have come between them before, but Tessa is different. She's oblivious to what she's doing and yet she's always there, always asking questions, always being what Jem needs: a soul who has lost everything and is looking for someone to hold on to. Will was never that to Jem. Will let his family go, he had nothing taken from him.

Will grips the mantel over the fireplace so hard, his knuckles turn white. He grinds his teeth, hard, painful, bone on bone, and he thinks about warm skin slipping against his, and silver eyes over him, warm lips kissing his lips, the quiet voice of the boy he loved whispering,

"Leave the lights on. I want to see you."

He thinks about all of the many nights spent sitting on Jem's bed, wrapped in sheets, bare shoulders exposed, staring at one another, waiting to join their bodies and lips again and again. When they were tired they would tangle their limbs together and sleep that way, burrowed beneath the covers, skin on skin, together. Jem was always so warm. They would wake up in the middle of the night and never had to say a word, just slip back into one another's arms and kiss as though they have never stopped. Their hands would wander and find the best places to touch. By then, it was all feeling anyway. The each knew the places on their bodies that responded best to each sort of touch. Jem could have been with Will a hundred times, blindfolded, and never once touch him in a way that didn't feel perfect.

"You aren't enough for me, anymore."

Jem had been only being honest but the truth cut far worse than the most dishonest lie. Jem wanted to fall in love but Will had been under the impression that they had already fallen.

Will's eyes well up with tears. He thinks of warm skin slipping away and Jem's silver eyes gazing into Tessa's grey eyes in the seconds after their kiss. Will thinks of her hand in Jem's hair and his hands on her back, pressing her against him. Will believed that nothing could have come between Jem and Tessa in that moment and now he wants to know what it's like to feel indestructible because he can't remember anymore.

"William?"

Will turns around and sees Magnus standing there, dressed in black trousers and a burgundy jacket. Magnus looks unsettled, like the idea of a soaked to the bone Shadowhunter was the last person he expected to see at this hour of the night. In that moment, every bit of resolve Will has been holding onto cracks and he bursts into tears. Magnus rushes over and wraps his arms around him. Magnus is warm. It feels as though he has been sitting beside a fireplace, and Will clings to him, digging his fingers into Magnus's back.

"What's the matter?" Magnus gasps, holding Will just as tightly. "Is it Jem…? Is he…" Magnus can't say the word he wants to. Will shakes his head. He knows what Magnus wants to ask, but the idea of death is so foreign to Will, right now. The fear of losing Jem has been replaced by the feeling that Will already has.

"Jem was with Tessa," Will stammers out. "He and his fucking cat! Since when did Jem want to be with a girl? He belongs to me!"

"With her?" Magnus asks. "You mean… sexually?" The thought of Jem being that intimate with a girl, with Tessa, causes bile to rise in the back of Will's throat. He fights back the desire to vomit.

"Just kissing," Will says. "For now, anyway." Will's tone is bitter and he does not care.

"And you're jealous," Magnus says, his voice nearly purring. He smirks.

"You're goddamn right I'm jealous!" Will pulls away but Magnus just wraps his arms around his cold, wet body, just a little tighter. "That's why I'm here. I need you to…"

"You need me to do what?" Magnus asks. His lips are just inches from Will's ear. His breath feels hot and dry. Will's shivering and he presses himself tighter against Magnus. "Should I send her away? He's human, Will, and so is she, and I can't stand in their way. If he loves her, there is just no stopping it." Will pushes his hands against Magnus's chest, trying to push him away, but Magnus doesn't let him go.

"Please," Will says, "if you aren't going to help me…"

"What are you going to do about it?" Magnus asks, and the next word Magnus wants to say is silenced by Will's lips against his as Will finally let's himself kiss someone besides Jem. It feels satisfying. Tomorrow morning, Jem will ask Will where he had gone the night before, and this time, Will can tell him the truth. He'll watch the pain flash across Jem's face and they will be even in their pain once more.

"This," Will whispers, and kisses Magnus again.

Magnus pushes him away. "You're drunk, Will."

"Not nearly enough," Will says. His eyes are on fire and he's looking Magnus up and down. He isn't sure who moves first but then they are pressed against each other once more. Magnus smells like vanilla and his lips taste like sweet brandy. Magnus, again, pushes Will away, putting a foot of space between them.

"I'm going to mix up a potion that should sober you, and then we'll portal back to the Institute together," Magnus said. "You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't…"

"I don't want to be sober," Will says, looking into Magnus's green eyes, "I want you."

"No," Magnus says. "This is the worst idea you have ever come up with, Herondale. You're drunk, you're heartbroken…"

"I want you. Take me," Will says, in the authoritative tone of voice he's been cultivating for some time. Magnus blinks once or twice, shocked at Will's tone, but his expression changes from stern to intrigued as he looks Will up and down, taking in the trembling boy who could have bathed in the Thames for how wet he is.

"You are going to regret this," Magnus says.

"That's what tomorrow is for," Will replies. Magnus grabs Will by the hand and jerks him away from the fireplace, across the room, and to the door. Will staggers after him, slamming into Magnus's shoulder when Magnus stops and peers out the door. Then, he pulls Will from the parlor, and into the cold, dark hallway. Their footsteps are barely muffled by the carpet as they hurry down the hallway, hiding among shadows.

"The doorman," Magnus whispers, and in a beam of moonlight from a window, Will sees Magnus's face pale and nervous as he keeps watch behind them. Magnus is still holding Will's hand, and their palms are starting to sweat where they are pressed together.

"Are you two an item?" Will asks, and Magnus grabs him by the collar of his shirt and slams him against the first door on the left. Will feels the shock of his back hit the door and then Magnus's body ram into his. He's just got his mouth open enough to take a breath when Magnus presses his lips to Will's again, clasping their hands tightly between their chests.

Magnus's kisses are so rough compared to Jem's sensual and gentle kisses, but Will doesn't mind. He feels a cut on his lip reopen and Will tastes iron and alcohol. Magnus's eyes are closed and Will's head is pressed against the door as his body absorbs all of Magnus's weight. Will wrenches his hand from Magnus's and forces his hands down their bodies, onto Magnus's waist band, feeling hipbones and warmth. Will is freezing and Magnus is an inferno.

Magnus grinds his hips against Will as he forces his tongue into Will's mouth; Will opens up and accepts it willingly. Will can feel blood dripping down his chin and when Magnus pulls away, for just a breath, Will sees that his lips are painted red. Then they kiss again, forgetting to breathe, ignoring the taste of blood and stale alcohol, focusing on the feeling of bare skin rubbing together. Will is kissing, hard and passionate, and Magnus is just trying to keep up.

Magnus slips his hands around Will's back, and his finger nails rake against Will's tail bone. Will gasps; his hips shake and he finds himself pressing against Magnus, harder. Magnus slides his hands down Will's ass, and he grips it tightly in his hands. Magnus begins to rub himself gently against Will as both of his hands slide back up Will's body and tangle themselves in Will's hair. Will feels Magnus, hard, beneath his pants and drawers, and Will is just as aroused as he. There are just so many layers of soaking wet clothing between them, and Will is dying for the feeling of warm, naked skin against his.

"What do you want?" Magnus whispers, and his mouth is curved into a half smile as he stares up at Will. Will leans over and licks at Magnus's lips, taking some of his blood back.

"I want you on top of me," Will replies. Magnus shivers, closes his eyes, and opens them. His pupils are huge in the dark, contracted to take in as much light as possible. Will runs his hands down Magnus's side and draws him close, feeling his heat against every part of his body.

"I can't," Magnus says.

"Of course you can," Will says. His fingers slip under Magnus's jacket. They find a way, past the shirt and undershirt, to Magnus's bare skin, stretched over taut muscles. Magnus feels like a man in Will's arms.

"You're with…"

"I'm not," Will says, "I never was." Magnus looks deep into Will's eyes, weighing his words and turning his thoughts over and over again.

"I'm with Camille," Magnus says, but he bites Will on the neck and then sucks on the spot, gently. He pushes Will's head to the side to give the same attention to the other side of his neck. Will closes his eyes and lets his fingers stroke Magnus's stomach. "She's not here at the moment, and…"

"Oh, Magnus," Will whispers, as Magnus licks up the side of his neck. His saliva stings as it traces over the rune just beneath Will's ear, giving Will a warning that he knows all too well.

Warlocks and Shadowhunters were never meant to mix. Will smiles. Sex with Magnus is going to hurt but it's just the sort of pain Will needs to distract him.

"What?" Magnus asks.

"When your wife finds out about this she is going to KILL you," Will says, and Magnus grabs a handful of Will's hair and slams his head against the wall, hurting him now so he can heal him later.

Will laughs and Magnus kisses his lips again. Will pushes him away and then they are running down the hallway, pausing to lick and kiss and touch, until Magnus finally reaches a door, opens it, and throws Will inside. Will hears the door lock before Magnus is in his arms again.

"The doorman will never know," Will says, and he lifts his arms as Magnus rips Will's shirt down the center, tossing it in a tattered pile onto the floor. Magnus kisses Will on the chest, exhaling hot air on his goose fleshed skin, and Will finally allows himself moan out loud before they return to kissing.

Will hastily strips Magnus down, Magnus jerks Will's soaking wet pants down so hard Will nearly falls, and Will kicks them off and falls onto the bed. Magnus climbs onto the bed as well, immediately straddling Will and pressing his body down into the feathery soft bed.

There's a line of light coming from outside the window, breaking up the inky blackness of the room. Will can just barely see cinnamon colored skin and dark hair and eyes that look so similar to Jem's. There is the warmth as well. Magnus radiates the heat Will has been searching for. This heat is the reason why Will went out into the cold night. He needed to find a way to be warm again, and now, he has found it.

Magnus looks down at the boy between his legs. He's perfect.

"Are you sure?" Magnus asks, quietly. He places a hand on Will's chest and rubs him, gently. Will focuses his eyes on Magnus and nods. "It's going to hurt, you know." Will nods again. Some of the best joy is born out of the worst pain.

Magnus kisses Will again, gently this time, letting his hand remain against Will's jaw line, just over the pulse that beats at his neck. Then he points to a kerosene lamp on the bedside table, prepared to snap his fingers and ignite the wick.

"No," Will whispers, "leave the lights off."

It's a simple enough request. Everything about this has been simple and certainly more than enough.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I never like to play favorites so I will let you know that I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it as well. Please feel free to let me know if you enjoyed reading it. I have had a few new story ideas and this is the first one that really came together. Thanks for reading!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I own none of these characters! Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Will turns onto his stomach, buries his head in the pillows on the bed, and closes his eyes. Magnus licks the bottom of Will's tailbone, right over his Agility rune, and shockwaves of stinging pain rip up Will's spine. Magnus's tongue follows the pain all the way up to Will's neck, and he brushes several wet pieces of hair from Will's neck and kisses him there.

"Have you ever done this before?" Magnus asks, and Will can feel the motion of Magnus gently touching himself. Magnus's voice is at a whisper next to Will's ear, and Will turns to him.

"Of course I have," Will says, and he closes his eyes as Magnus kisses him again.

They kiss and touch for a few minutes in this way, and then Will rolls onto his back and Magnus straddles his waist again. Magnus has dark, silky hair tracing a line down his lower stomach, and when Will runs his fingers up it, Magnus closes his eyes and moans softly. The physical effect of Will's touch on Magnus is apparent: the muscles in his chest contract and his spine relaxes a little. Magnus reached down, he takes Will's hand and gently kisses each of his bruised knuckles. He releases Will's hand, and Will runs his fingers down Magnus's chest, down that line of hair, to the base of his erection, and with no further prompting, Will begins stroking. When he gets his left hand involved as well, Magnus only becomes more like clay in his hands, just like Jem.

"Have you ever had a Nephilim?" Will asks.

"I have not," Magnus says, and he becomes so aroused that a bit of white fluid eases from the tip of his erection. Will considers rubbing his palm over it to use as lubricant, but then he feels his mouth water.

"May I taste?" Will asks. Magnus nods and moves farther up Will's body, so that he's straddling Will's chest. Will closes his eyes and opens his mouth, and Magnus slips the head of his shaft between Will's lips.

The drop of semen tastes like salt and sugar, and Will lets it sit on his tongue for a second before he swallows it. He imagines the drop running down his throat and sitting in his stomach, part of Magnus inside of him, and Will wants more. He sucks harder, deeper, and swirls his tongue around the most sensitive places. Magnus clenches his teeth and pulls on Will's hair, sinking his fingers in and scratching his nails against Will's scalp. Will releases Magnus, he prods his tongue against the tip again, tasting more, swallowing some. Then Will takes most of Magnus's length back into his mouth. He feels the smooth head rub against the roof of his mouth and Will resists the urge to gag. Instead, he closes his lips around Magnus's erection, places his hand at the base of it, and resumes stroking.

Magnus pulls away after a minute. He moves back down Will's body, presses his chest to Will's, and then finds Will's lips. He offers his tongue to Will and Will allows it. Magnus can taste just the slightest bit of himself in Will's mouth, and then taste makes the sex go from optional to necessary. He reaches down, seizes Will in his hand, and rubs. Their bodies act on their own accords, with sensitive places rubbing against one another, building heat.

In the small bit of light coming from outside, Will can see that Magnus is little more than skin, bones, and refined muscle… just like Jem. His back is smooth and contains muscle as well, and there's a black design etched into his skin at about the middle of his side. It's not a rune and certainly not a tattoo, but something different. Will runs his fingers over the design, and he feels his fingertips sizzle. Magnus gasps and sinks his teeth into Will's neck, sucking hard. Will's hips lift involuntarily, his body already priming itself for sex, and he rubs himself against Magnus.

"Magnus, I want you," Will gasps. Will grabs Magnus by the hair and crushes their mouths together again.

Despite Magnus's reservations, Will manages to kiss and touch Magnus in only the most sensual of ways, and it's not long before Magnus is fully, painfully, aroused, and they begin quickly, with little to no warm up.

With Magnus's first thrust, Will's eyes fill with tears and his stomach feels as though it has been ripped in half. He turns away, not wanting the warlock to see his tears.

"You're a virgin," Magnus whispers, sounding disappointed, "Will…"

"This way," Will says, and his face feels hot from shame as tears slip from the sides of his eyes. Magnus rests a hand on Will's cheeks and turns his face towards him, and he gives him a gentle kiss on the lips.

"You should have told me the truth," Magnus says.

"Please. I just want the pain." Will tries to look away again, but Magnus guides his face back. The black pupils in his eyes are huge, nearly covering the green part of his eyes, and Will realizes that he can actually look into Magnus's eyes and see more than silver and white.

"You deserve more than pain," Magnus says. "Here. Hold my hand and relax. Squeeze if you start to hurt, and I'll make it easier." He slips his hand into Will's palm and Will grips it tightly, intertwining his fingers with Magnus's

Will keeps his hand in Magnus's until something finally shifts inside of him and he finds himself feeling less pain and more pleasure. He opens his knees, giving more of himself, and Magnus takes it all. He deepens his thrusts and Will glances down at their bodies pressing together before he looks back up at Magnus. Will has a smile on his face. His eyes are wet with tears but lost in pleasure.

Magnus lays a sweating hand on Will's cheek and Will takes his hand and moves it to his mouth. He gently licks each of the first three fingers and then takes them all in his mouth, sucking carefully and gently as he looks up at Magnus. The dueling sensations threaten to overwhelm Magnus, and after a minute, Magnus pulls his fingers from Will's mouth and wraps his warm, wet hand around Will's erection. He begins to stroke, slow at first, and then quicker.

Will moans and pushes his hips into the air, and Magnus grabs him by the waist, and holds him there. He thrusts in and out over and over again as he strokes Will tightly. Will reaches up and grabs Magnus's hands, bringing Magnus's face to his as they kiss. Magnus takes Will's left thigh and pulls it up, allowing himself much deeper access, and Will cries out in pain and closes his eyes.

Magnus stops. His doesn't pull out, he just keeps Will's leg up at the angle that it is in, but he stops thrusting, stops moving, and just waits. He watches the boy beneath him who is a mixture of light and dark colors and thinks about everything he wants to know about this boy. Magnus knows love; he knows that it can be both fleeting and enduring, it can be temporary, yet eternal. His heart hopes for love, but his mind knows different.

Will can't remember the first time he saw Magnus, but he knows that since that day, he has wanted him this way, or, anyway he could have him. He was drawn to Magnus in the same way that he was drawn to Jem, unexplainably, intimately, relentlessly. In a world full of people who were all so very different, Will found two people who were nearly the same as he. Jem had moved on, but Magnus had remained the same.

Will opens his eyes, slowly, and looks up at the man over him.

"Will," Magnus says, and his voice is so soft, he could have just formed his mouth to say the word but put no sound behind it.

"I like you," Will whispers.

"I like you to," Magnus replies, and Will wishes he could clarify what he likes about Magnus, and how much of him he likes, but the words won't come, not yet. Magnus thrusts again. It's deeper now, and it feels as though Magnus is literally pressing himself into Will's soul. This is the closeness Will has been missing with Jem, and he thinks to himself that Magnus is right, that he deserves far more than just pain.

In moments they are slick with sweat and clinging to one another as they kiss and Will continues to feel Magnus hit the same sensitive spot again and again, deep, so very deep inside. He knows what is hitting and understands why it feels so good but he never knew how good it actually felt, as he's never had a chance to feel it this way before.

There is a slow burning ache building in his stomach, like pressure mounting in a volcano. Will starts to feel the deepest part of his stomach begin to throb, and it's not much longer before he throws his head back, and finishes all over his stomach with a breathless gasp. The sight and feeling of Will's orgasm pushes Magnus over the edge a second later, and he crushes his lips to Will's as he comes deep inside, injecting Will with a fluid that burns from the inside out. Pain mixes with pleasure and Will feels satisfied.

When their heartbeats finally return to normal, Magnus pulls out and lies beside Will. Will's stomach and lower body burn and ache, and he feels as though Magnus is still inside. He clings tightly to Magnus's body, drenched in moisture and warmth, and falls asleep almost immediately.

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><p>Will wakes up what has to be many hours later, his whole body throbbing as though he spent the night battling several hundred demons. His skin is dry and Magnus's back is cold with sweat where he lays against Will. Will's throat feels swollen shut and his face feels feverish. He can't get warm and he wraps his arms tighter around Magnus.<p>

Magnus stirs, he pulls away from Will, turns over, and looks at him, trying to figure out why there's a boy he barely knows sleeping in his bed. Then Magnus gently kisses Will's forehead. He recoils when he feels the heat.

"Will, you're really hot," Magnus says, and he sounds momentarily frightened. "I'll mix you up something to bring down the fever." Magnus climbs from the bed, completely naked, and Will looks Magnus's body up and down. He rolls onto his back and buries himself in the covers.

"You had better not have given me demon pox," Will says, as sternly as he can manage. Then he vomits every last bit of his stomach's contents all over the bed.

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><p>Will wakes up hours later wrapped in a blanket on a cold tile floor. His head is in Magnus's lap, and Magnus is running his fingertips up and down Will's arms. He's still feverish but not achingly so.<p>

"You've been sleeping," Magnus says. "You were sick, a lot. You finally stopped." Will's throat burns and his teeth feel chalky. Magnus offers water and Will drinks the cold liquid down and then lays his head back down in Magnus's lap. Magnus runs his fingers through Will's hair, drawing sweaty tendrils from Will's face.

"You're my angel," Will whispers.

"Far from," Magnus replies. "I found your stele in the hallway but I can't draw a rune. Let's get you to bed. I'll send word to Charlotte that you'll be staying here tonight." Will nods, slowly. Magnus offers pajamas and helps Will dress, and then Will drifts back to sleep and wakes up again to find Magnus carrying him down the hallway.

"My angel," Will repeats, and Magnus doesn't reply. Magnus tucks Will into the bed they made love in. The sheets are warm, soft, and dry, and the blanket covering Will is as fluffy as spun cotton. Magnus presses a stele into Will's hand, and Will lifts up his shirt and draws a healing rune on the side of his stomach. The rune flares brightly and dissolves quickly, without working. Will draws another rune with the same result.

"That's not good," Magnus says. "This is even worse." Magnus lifts Will's hand to show that the Sight rune on the back of it has been covered with a fine, red rash.

"Demon pox!" Will cries. "You've given me demon pox!"

"I've never had sex with a demon!" Magnus exclaims.

"You're half demon!" Will says. "You could have…" Magnus glares.

"I didn't give you demon pox!" Magnus is so distraught looking, Will can't help but feel sympathy, and something else, no, not love, or lust, but something for Magnus.

"It was worth it, you know," Will says, and he might be delirious but he sees Magnus blush a little and look at the ground.

"It kind of was," Magnus says. "I'll stay up all night looking for a cure for you."

"Come to bed," Will says, and he reaches out and grabs Magnus by the hands. He pulls him into bed. "You can fix me in the morning, as for right now…" Magnus smiles down at Will and then kisses him gently on the lips. "It was worth it."

Will drifts off to sleep in Magnus's arms, and his last thought regards how good it feels to be the one being held, this time.

Magnus stays up very late, watching Will sleep. He's more manageable, unconscious. The frown lines between his eyes have relaxed and his mouth hangs open just a little. He snores, a fact that Magnus finds endearing, and one of his callused hands rests against Magnus's chest, just below Magnus's heart, and it stays there. Magnus takes his hand and lays it over Will's heart, feeling it pound strong and true, and as much as he doesn't want to, Magnus forces himself to inventory the reasons why a relationship between a warlock and Nephilim wouldn't work. They are so different: they are practically a different species, and while being together doesn't violate the Accords, it most certainly is frowned upon.

Then Magnus starts to wonder how they might be the same, and he wants to know what they could have in common. A relationship is foolish, and crazy, and at the same time, possible. Magnus spends the rest of the night trying to decide what to do about the blue eyed boy in his bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! The title of this may change, so please check back. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Will wakes up the next morning and can't climb out of bed. His whole body hurts and moving in the soft bed still causes pain to rip up his spine.

Magnus is pacing around the room in silence. He is dressed in black trousers that hang low on his hips. He's thinner than Will expected, his waist more defined than Jem's, and certainly Will's own. In the day light, Will can again see the mark on Magnus's side. It swirls into a range of colors until it blends into his skin like something he was born with.

Magnus is holding a book in his left hand and a glass of something red in his right. Magnus's hair hangs in his eyes, long and dark. He's intently reading, staring at the book with those green eyes that stared in Will's just hours before.

Will flashes back to last night, to being cold and then warm, then so unbearably hot. He thinks about two pairs of sweaty hands battling for places to hold, pain, deep in his stomach, and pounding pleasure shared in the most intimate way possible. Will swears he can still feel Magnus inside of him, and he lays his hand on his stomach and moans. Magnus looks up quickly, and then hurries over.

"Finally conscious, are you?" Magnus asks. He lays a hand on Will's forehead, and his hand feels cool. "You've still got a fever, but it's not so bad. It's not demon pox…" Will lifts his left hand and places it on the waistband of Magnus's pants. He attempts to pull the pants down, and does manage to reveal more skin, but Magnus pulls away. "No."

"It's not like I have to get out of bed," Will says, "you could just join me." He tugs at Magnus's waistband. Magnus sets the glass down on the bedside table and falls onto the bed still holding the book.

"I told Charlotte that you were still upset about Thomas and Agatha," Magnus says. "I think you're rash and… illness… might have been a reaction to the stress you've been under."

"Or you gave me demon pox," Will says.

"I didn't give you demon pox!" Magnus cries. He pulls away, but Will sees that he has hurt Magnus, and for once, he feels bad. Will takes Magnus's arm and holds him tightly in the bed. Magnus's skin feels cool against Will's, and Will presses himself against Magnus.

"So what is it?" Will asks.

"I'm trying to find out," Magnus says. "In the mean time I have some potions to mix up. They're for various skin ailments. If the Clave knew about this…" he shakes his head and attempts to pull away, but Will holds him back.

"Fuck the Clave," Will says, and then, "Please don't leave me."

"I'm right here for you," Magnus says, "whatever you need."

* * *

><p>They spend much of the early morning and afternoon in the bedroom. Will remains as flat on his back as possible, and Magnus pours through his books. Midway through his studying he reaches over and begins to rub Will's stomach gently with the tips of his fingers. In between the rubbing, Magnus casts spells that only succeed in electrocuting Will, and he mixes potions that cause Will to become deathly sick for moments at a time. When Magnus suggests a trip to the Silent City in the early evening Will finally howls in protest and Magnus immediately withdraws the suggestion.<p>

"You should know that, as the time passes, what we did last night is becoming less and less worth the pain you're in," Magnus says. Will is curled into the fetal position on the bathroom floor. He looks up at Magnus.

"It was worth it," Will says, and then puts an arm up and Magnus helps him off the floor. They go back to the bed and Will pulls Magnus into bed beside him.

"I'm going to contact Jem. He can find a rune for you. There has to be something," Magnus says. "Surely you aren't the first Shadowhunter to have… sex…" Will looks up at Magnus. He's honestly having a hard time forming the words and owning up to what they did.

"Sex?" Will asks.

"Sex with a warlock," Magnus finishes.

"Benedict Lightwood doesn't give up his secrets easily, but I'm sure he's faced this problem before," Will says. Magnus nods, slowly.

"I think we need to discuss why you showed up here last night," Magnus says. Will rolls onto his side, so he doesn't have to look at Magnus. Discussing why Will showed up means discussing how a boy who refuses to feel pain can still be hurt to the core. "Will."

"The Institute is a great place to live, but sometimes… oh, Magnus I could just suffocate there," Will says. "Between Charlotte, and Henry, and Jessamine with her negativity, and Tessa with her stupidity…"

"Tessa isn't stupid," Magnus says. "She changed into a vampire and masqueraded as one to help your investigation. She's a strong, courageous, beautiful woman." Will pulls the covers up to his chin, closes his eyes, and sighs. Magnus turns his body, puts his arm around Will, slides his hand beneath Will's pajama shirt, and gently rubs his lower stomach again. "She threatens you."

"She does nothing of the sort," Will says. "That would be the day I felt threatened by a simple American girl."

"But you are jealous of her, and her… abilities," Magnus says. Will raises himself up off the bed and looked at the warlock. Magnus has pinned the front sections of his hair back, and with the hair out of his eyes, he looks older, somehow, and perhaps, wiser. "After all, who wouldn't be jealous of someone who can slip into another person's skin?"

"It's not that. She dangles her virtue in front of Jem. You know how always wants what he can't have," Will says.

"No, that's you," Magnus replies. Will lays back down on the bed and concentrates on Magnus's fingertips on the tight skin of his stomach. "She threatens you, Will, because she is more acceptable as a mate to Jem, as a warlock, than you would ever be as a Shadowhunter."

"Nonsense. Jem knows better than to have sex with a warlock," Will scoffs. Magnus raises his eyebrows.

"You and Jem are the same: you're both male, you're both Neplilim... you're parabatai, Will. Jem, with a warlock, that's frowned upon." Magnus traces his fingers up Will's side. "But relations between parabatai… why that's against the Law. It's illegal in the eyes of the Clave."

"I don't care what the Clave thinks about Jem and I," Will says. "If I really did care about what they thought, I would have cared four years ago. Not now…" Not when half of Will's clothes were in Jem's wardrobe and they each wore a rune that bound them together. Not when, on his most sleepless nights, Jem could only find rest in Will's arms.

"He would choose her over you," Magnus says.

"That's not true," Will says, but he's not so sure anymore.

Will turns onto his back and looks up at Magnus. He loves at how Magnus can look completely ageless, but have the weight of his past sit firmly upon his shoulders. Will cannot fathom the amount of things he would be able to see in 700 years time. He thinks about Jem, who's life balances on the edge of knife in the question of whether he will live or die, while Magnus's life spreads like a never ending plain before him. Magnus doesn't have to worry about dying, because he never will.

"I would choose you," Will says, and he kisses Magnus gently on the lips. Magnus looks over at Will, a little smile on his face.

"I would think you were foolish," Magnus says, but he presses his cool lips against Will's feverish ones, and he allows their tongues to gently caress.

"I have a way we can cure me," Will says, his hand on Magnus's cheek. "Will you be a willing participant?"

"Absolutely not," Magnus says. "I'm through dallying with Shadowhunters." Will laughs.

"I have my doubts," he says. Will kisses Magnus again, and Magnus kisses back.

"But I'm not going to…"

"You won't have to." Magnus shivers with delight.

They kiss and touch and take their time, and soon, Will has Magnus pinned down on the bed as he licks at Magnus's earlobes. Will watches as the pulse at Magnus's throat throbs with his heartbeat, and when Will traces his tongue lightly over that spot, Magnus's chest flushes red beneath his skin. Magnus gives up protesting; he holds Will in his arms as they kiss and enjoy the sights and feelings of one another's slow building arousal.

When they begin, it feels better than the first time, and they rush to finish, each taking delight in each other's sought after orgasms. They nap briefly in one another's arms, and then, begin again. This time they take their time and enjoy every touch and sensation. They switch positions often: they lay side by side and let every inch of their bodies touch; Will takes Magnus from behind as Magnus kneels on the bed. They move to the couch, then to the floor, and then back to the bed.

They use finger tips and nails, tracing words down one another's chests and backs. Will's so inexperienced, still, compared to Magnus. Magnus watches Will's body, he feels when his heart speeds up, or when he starts to get close to finishing. When that happens, Magnus pulls away, and lets Will's body cool down. In those times, Will lays his head against Magnus's chest and listens to Magnus's soft, careful breathes.

"Are you hungry?" Magnus asks, during one of their long moments of silence. Will smiles and thinks that he has everything he would ever need in this moment.

"You're more than enough," Will says.

* * *

><p>It's early evening before Will wakes up in Magnus's arms again.<p>

"Feeling better?" Magnus asks.

"Not particularly," Will says. He felt better earlier (everything felt better earlier) but now his skin feels hot, and the rash covering his runes has started to itch.

"I'll send a message to Jem," Magnus says, and he begins to climb from the bed.

Will holds him back. "Stay."

"I have to get out of bed," Magnus tries to pull away, again, but Will doesn't let him go. "Will."

"I just want to let you know that… this is really great…" Will says. "Being with you, I mean. I might… like you." Magnus nods, quickly. "I would rather be with you, over Jem."

"You're sick and we've had sex three times in twelve hours, and one of those times lasted three hours," Magnus says. To Will, it had felt like minutes. "You'll come to your senses as soon as Jem finds a rune to fix you."

"But I don't want Jem. I want you," Will says.

"You don't mean that," Magnus says. "I'm going to contact Jem now." He finally pulls away from Will and goes to the window. He scrawls a message on a piece of paper, folds it, and then lights it on fire. The flames consume the paper until only bits of ash float to the floor, and Magnus looks out the window. "You'll come to your senses, Will."

"Maybe I already have," Will says. "Maybe I do want to be with you."

Magnus watches a boat float by on the Thames and hopes against the odds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I own none of these characters. Thanks to everyone who reviewed thus far, as well as everyone who is getting story alerts. I do love reviews, so... feel free to let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Will spends the next two days vacillating between sleeping in bed and making love to Magnus. Will insists that the love making helps the demon pox, since he feels better during it, but Magnus insists that the love making is just a way to distract them from the miserable situation at hand. Regardless, Will still finds the energy to make love to Magnus, and Magnus still struggles to resist Will, but resistance is futile. It is a horrible, twisted, carnal, catch-22.

Magnus sends a message to the Clave that he's had to leave town unexpectedly on business. He prays Charlotte keeps his houseguest a secret.

Will gets to know every inch of Magnus's body. He finds a place on Magnus's side that causes Magnus to gasp and shiver every time it's touched.

Magnus stops counting the hours and starts to enjoy Will falling asleep in his arms.

Will stops comparing Magnus to Jem and gets used to the accelerated cadence of Magnus's heart.

They stop talking and start feeling.

After a morning spent in various positions in the bedroom, Will soaks for an hour in a bathtub filled with a hot water and a dozen pungent flowers, but the infusion does little to help the rash now covering most of his body. After the bath, Will climbs back into bed dressed in another pair of Magnus's silk pajamas. Magnus has gone to make them lunch, and Will feels alone in the bed but knows that Magnus will be back soon.

Just as Will finally gets himself comfortable, Magnus walks in and snaps his fingers. The light on the bedside table flares brightly to light. Will covers his eyes and moans.

"You have a visitor," Magnus says, and he doesn't sound pleased.

"No, I'm contagious. All of the books say that demon box can be spread through the air," Will says. "Send the visitor away and come back to bed, Magnus."

"I can't," Magnus says. "It's…"

"It's not demon pox." The voice who speaks is quiet, but the tone is clipped and direct. Will buries his head beneath the pillow but he hears the door close tightly. After a moment the covers are rudely pulled back and the silk pajama pants he is wearing are jerked down, just enough. "Honestly, Will, I can't decide. Are you suicidal or just plain stupid?" Will feels the sting of a rune applied to his lower stomach. "It took me two whole days to find this rune, mind you, because Magnus swore I couldn't tell Charlotte… having sex with a warlock, Will, have you lost your mind?"

The pillow is pulled away before Will can tighten his grasp on it. Jem is standing over him, dressed in a light grey morning suit. His hair is slicked back, out of his eyes, and appears to be shorter as well. Will likes Jem's hair long and hanging haphazardly in his face. Will likes Jem's hair damp with perspiration as Will holds him from behind and licks his way down the side of Jem's neck.

"Didn't you clean up nice?" Will asks.

"I'm enjoying an afternoon about town," Jem says.

"Who's the lucky lady?"

"Tessa."

That's everything Will ever expected. He feels a part of his stomach clench with nausea and he knows he would vomit if there was something left to vomit.

"I'm dying, you know," Will says.

"Yeah, me to," Jem says, and he sits down on the bed beside Will. "I'm just not lying in bed complaining about it. I figure there's time for that." Jem looks at the ring on his right index finger, depicting the bricks surrounding a castle turret, and he spins the ring a few times. Jem licks his lips a little. He looks up, at the closed red velvet drapes and the sunlight trying to peek through. "Charlotte wants to know when you are coming home and frankly so do I."

"Home?" Will says, "I don't have a home." Jem rolls his eyes.

"Do you want to tell me what this is really about, or do you want to let your belly fill up with resentment until in the end, you hate me as much as you hate everyone else?" He asks.

"I could never hate you," Will whispers.

"It feels as though you could, sometimes," Jem says. "You've got every reason to. I'm sure you didn't plan on living your life waiting for me to die." Will is silent. He doesn't like to discuss this sort of thing. "I'm sorry that it has been a rough few weeks for us. Things are going to get better. We'll find Nate Gray. We'll take care of Mortmain…"

Jem isn't addressing Will's primary concern. Will can still plainly see Jem kissing Tessa, and he can remember how wrong it had seemed. The silver haired boy and the brown haired girl had looked so wrong together, and yet, their kiss seemed so right. Maybe, it was because it was clear how much Jem had wanted it.

"Promises are more than just words," Will says.

A smattering of laughter comes from down the hall and Jem looks at the door, quickly.

"I wonder what was so funny," Will muses. "Maybe you should find out."

"I'm sure it's was good, whatever it was," Jem says. "Tessa rarely laughs these days." He crosses his legs and smiles to Will. "Charlotte asks that you come home."

"Charlotte's not my mother. She can't tell me when to come home," Will says. "When my real mother tells me when to come home… never mind." Will rolls onto his side, his back to Jem, and stretches out with a yawn. Already, he's feeling better, not that he'll admit that to Jem.

"Why did you ever leave?" Jem asks, softly. "Will." Jem lays a hand on Will's back, and traces his fingers up and down Will's spine. "You just left. You never leave without telling me so you had to have had your reason for it."

"We rarely act without reason," Will says. Jem traces his fingers up Will's spine again.

"I know, before, I said you weren't enough for me," Jem says. "I was wrong. I only want you. I need you, Will. You are… all I will ever need."

"That's not true," Will says.

"It is," Jem says, and his eyes fill up with tears. He crawls into bed behind Will and wraps his arms tight around Will's body. Will turns to him, and looks into Jem's silver eyes. "I can't get to sleep without you. I love you, Will, and I wish you would just come back home."

Jem leans forward and kisses Will on the lips. He runs his fingers down Will's jaw line and slips his tongue into Will's mouth. They have been kissing this way for nearly four years now, and it always feels amazing. Jem's lips taste sweet, like honey and vanilla, and his body feels warm and solid beside Will's.

"Come home," Jem whispers, looking up into Will's eyes. "The left side of my bed is so cold without you there."

The door opens and Magnus walks in. He stops short when he sees Will and Jem in bed together, and he slams the door in Tessa's face. Jem looks at Magnus with an annoyed look on his face. His fingers remain on Will's jaw.

"I just wanted…" Magnus begins.

Jem turns back to Will and kisses him again, harder, rougher this time, and Will kisses back just as hard. Will is sore from Magnus's kisses, but Jem's lips feel soft, smooth, and perfect against his. Jem is breathing gently, adding heat to the kiss. He sighs and moans, then brushes his teeth against Will's bottom lip. Jem pulls away, he rubs his soft cheek against Will's, smiles, and resumes kissing once again. Will's breath catch in his throat and his chest presses closer to Jem's, as though they are magnets drawn together.

"Will," Magnus whispers. His voice sounds thick with emotion, like he might cry at any second.

Will wants to stop, he want to pull away, he wants to tell Jem just to leave, but Jem nips at Will's lower lip and Will tumbles back into the sweet and blissful place that kissing Jem puts him in. Jem runs his fingers through Will's hair, sharing every breath Will takes. Will closes his eyes, he kisses Jem, and all the while, his heart aches for Magnus.

Jem slips his hand beneath the covers, probing, feeling, and finally finding what he's looking for. He touches that spot not with Magnus's roughness or tentative experimentation, but with practiced skill. Within seconds, Will is completely aroused; he moans and pulls away from Jem, gasping and feeling like he's finally come up for air.

"I love you," Jem whispers, and he withdraws his hand from Will's pajama pants. Jem looks up at Magnus, whose expression equally shows sadness and anger. "Can I help you with something, Magnus?"

"Get the fuck out of my bed, James," Magnus says, and Jem climbs from the bed.

"He's going to live, thanks to me," Jem reports, straightening his jacket. "Did Tessa need something?"

"She wanted to know how Will is, as well," Magnus says. He opens the door and Tessa walks in. She is dressed in the yellow dress she loves so, and her cheeks have been kissed with a light sunburn.

"I heard you were under the weather," Tessa says.

"Yes, well, we have runes to cure most anything; it was just a question of finding the right one," Will says. "You remind me of a daffodil today, Tessa. All beautiful and… temporary." Tessa's smile falters. Jem rolls his eyes.

"Tess, dear, can you wait by the front door? I'll be ready to go in a moment," Jem says. Tessa nods to Will and leaves the room.

"She very much reminds me of a daffodil," Will says, "Even her hair… brown as a flower which is preparing for death… and eventual rebirth."

"Fuck you, Will. Come home," Jem says, and he walks out of the room.

"Not if you're going to speak to me in that manner," Will calls out, and Jem replies, but he's far too sweet and gentlemanly to repeat his order again, in front of a lady.

Magnus shows Jem and Tessa to the door, and then returns to the room. He places his hands on the footboard of the bed and looks down at Will.

Will wants to tell Magnus that he didn't mean to hurt him, but he doesn't know what to say, and neither does Magnus.

"Do you want me to leave?" Will asks.

"I don't know," Magnus says. "I just don't know. I don't even…" He walks out of the room without a look back.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Magnus finally walks back into the room with a tray of lunch. He sits down in bed with Will and they each eat delicious pressed sandwiches and hot soup. When Magnus is finished, he takes the dishes to the kitchen, and then returns to the bedroom.<p>

"I'm sorry," Will finally says. Magnus shrugs. He's rearranging some clothing in his closet. Magnus is actually wearing a shirt and a pair of pants, which is more than he's had on since Will showed up. "I've upset you, and I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. There's no reason to be upset," Magnus says. "I always had an idea about you and Jem; I just never expected to have a front row seat to the Herondale- Carstairs show."

"We've been doing it forever," Will says dismissively.

"How long is forever? Six months? A year?" Magnus asks.

"Four years," Will says, and Magnus lets out an exasperated sigh. "Magnus. I've been going to the brothel since I was fifteen, having sex with countless girls with barely a shred of virtue, and you have a problem with the fact that I used to have sex with Jem?"

"Not used to have it, Will, you have it," Magnus says. "He clearly was… never mind. I don't want to talk about this. You had your past and I had mine. I've had many lovers and I can't fault you for having one."

"How many lovers have you had?" Will asks.

"Many," Magnus replies, a faraway look in his eyes. "I lost count after I spent a year on the island of Crete back in '56. There were so many… Greeks."

"1856?" Will asks.

"Sixteen," Magnus says. "1656." Will nods slowly.

"You lost count two hundred years ago?" Will asks. Magnus shrugs. "Do you at least have a rough estimate?"

"The number is close to five hundred, I'm sure, but anything is possible." Magnus says. "The Greeks are great lovers. Whenever I think about olives, grapes, yogurt and wine…" He smiles to himself. "At some point you must go to Greece."

Magnus delves back into his closet. Will climbs from the bed, walks up behind Magnus, and grabs him around the waist. Magnus resists and Will holds him tighter.

"Come back to bed," Will says.

"I can't come back to bed. The Clave wants to meet with me at five. Something to do with Camille, I'm sure," Magnus says. He detaches himself from Will and pulls a black frock coat and a black shirt from the closet. "It's best to remain in the Clave's favor."

"But of course," Will says.

Magnus tosses the clothes down on a chair, then turns back to Will and gently touches his cheek. Will's heart pounds just a little harder at Magnus's touch.

"I was upset, earlier," Magnus begins, and Will nods. "What we've been doing together, Will…It wasn't just sex to me."

"It wasn't just sex to me either," Will says.

"I was thinking we could start seeing each other," Magnus says. "I have tickets to see A Midsummer Night's Dream on Friday night, down at the Strand. Would you like to accompany me? We could have dinner before and then get drinks afterwards. A whole night on the town, just you and I."

"Dinner?" Will asks. "You want to have dinner?"

"Dinner, drinks, and Shakespeare," Magnus says. "If we're going to have a relationship, it should include more than just sex. Don't you agree?" Will looks up at Magnus, who is looking back expectantly.

"I'm not a big fan of Shakespeare," Will says. "I fear that the evening would be wasted on me. Maybe you could take your doorman."

"My doorman, of course. I would love to have a relationship with my doorman," Magnus says sarcastically. "I thought it would be nice…"

"Of course it would be nice. I just don't like Shakespeare," Will says.

"No, you don't like getting close to people who aren't dying," Magnus says. Will looks up at him, quickly. "The only reason you really care about Jem is because you know at some point, you'll no longer have to care about him. As for everyone else, you're so convinced you don't deserve to be loved; you will reject anyone who wants to love you. You hurt people so they won't hurt you."

"That's not true," Will says, and Magnus laughs. "I can't be with you because… It's the Clave, Magnus, they forbid relationships like the one you want to have and… I just don't…."

"You break the rules whenever you want to," Magnus says, "don't bother making excuses. I knew your answer before I asked the question. I just wanted to make sure that you were the same Will Herondale I've heard of."

"One of me is more than enough," Will says. Magnus shakes his head. "This was a mistake, Magnus. I shouldn't have come here the other night and we shouldn't have been together."

"You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me," Magnus says. "None of this was a mistake."

"You're 700 years old. You should have learned by now not to give your heart away to a pretty boy who shows up drunk and looking for only one thing," Will says.

There is nothing left to say. Will turns away, and finds his pants, freshly laundered, hanging over a chair. He pulls off his pajama pants and puts his trousers on. Magnus tosses him a white shirt Will puts on. He buttons each button as Magnus stares, unblinking, and Will only breaks eye contact when he reaches down to pull on his boots.

"Thanks for everything," Will says. "Goodbye, Magnus."

"Goodbye, Will," Magnus replies.

Will slips his stele into his pocket and shows himself to the door.

* * *

><p>It's a long, hot and dusty walk back to the Institute, as London is experiencing a heat wave. The humidity in the air causes Will's shirt to cling to his back, and every once in a while, he smells vanilla, sandalwood, and Magnus.<p>

Will's relieved when he finally presses his hand to the Institute and the door opens. Will walks inside, blinking as the brightness of outside in swallowed by the dimness of the Institute. Church sits inside of the door, washing his face with a paw, and he looks up at Will with a typical smug expression any cat has. The cat's eyes remind Will of Magnus, and he feels a pain in his heart at remembering the warlock's eyes looking into his own, but he shakes his head and tries to forget.

"Where's Jem?" Will asks. Will starts for the stairs but the cat rudely darts in front of him, nearly tripping him, and Will has no choice but to follow the cat up the stairs. Will curses the infernal creature beneath his breath but Church pays no attention.

Once on the second floor, Will doesn't need the cat's guidance, but the cat leads him anyway, down the hall and to a door which bears a plaque that contains a prayer in Chinese. Behind the door, Will can hear a violin being played, and he pats the cat on the head before pushing the door open. Will finds Jem standing on his bed, shirtless, playing the violin with his eyes closed. Will gently closes the door, leans against it, and waits.

This is a game they play. Jem will ignore Will for as long as possible, Will allows him to, and eventually, one of them will break. For the moment, Will doesn't mind watching Jem play. Jem's whole body gets involved in his playing, and it's hardly only his fingers on the strings that are moving. Jem keeps his eyes shut and his lips pressed closed, his mouth set in a serene smile.

Will hears one note screech out wrong, followed by another, and then all of the notes are slamming into each other. Jem pulls his bow away from the strings and puts the song out of its misery. He opens his eyes and looks down at Will.

"Feeling better?" Jem asks.

"Much," Will says, and Jem hops off the bed and lays his violin down on it. He walks over to Will and presses Will against the door. Jem leans his head forward and sniffs at Will's shirt, and then he unbuttons the top two buttons and pulls it over Will's head. Jem drops it on the floor behind himself, and Will puts his arms around Jem. Jem's skin is moistened with a sweet smelling sweat, and Will doesn't mind their skin pressed together. Will tickles the bottom of Jem's chin and Jem smiles. They kiss, and then Jem runs his fingers down Will's chest and looks up into Will's eyes.

"Welcome home," Jem whispers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! It's nice to know that you are willing to review this. It makes me feel better about writing it.**

**So this chapter gets really, really, smutty. I'm not going to lie. I must just be feeling sensitive tonight. Honestly, I've read steamier Malec and Jalec but this… this ranks up there in my mind with Persuasion. So… enjoy. Remember, I own none of these characters.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

If not for the thin wall between Will and Jem's rooms, the headboards of their beds would be pressed together. As it stands, Jem lays his head down less than 18 inches from Will's, and most nights, Will falls asleep to Jem's soft breathing on the other side of the wall. He's always woken by the first moan of a nightmare, and when the attack comes in the night, Will is already sitting up in bed as the first cry dissolves into the air. He's out of bed by the time Jem cries out again, across the room, out the door, and walking in to Jem's bedroom when Jem finally screams. Jem sits up in bed and coughs out an awful puddle of blood into his lap before he collapses back onto the bed and screams again.

The attacks are ugly, ugly, events. Jem dissolves into a seizure almost immediately, and if his eyes remain open, they flop around in his eyes sockets like two marbles would in a jar, unfocused. The blood vessels burst in them and turn the whites of his eyes of his eyes red. Blood pours from his mouth, it's not bright like regular blood, but black, as though it is demonic in origin, and in a way, it is. But it's the prayers, yes, and the begging, that are the worst part of the attacks. Will has an idea what Jem is saying, but he can offer little comfort anyway. The attacks have been explained to Will, once. Every tissue is breaking down within Jem's body. His muscles are attempting to consume themselves to survive, and the result is agonizing pain.

Jem screams for his mother and father, but they never come. He screams for Will, and although Will reassures Jem, over and over, in a calm voice that he's there, Jem never hears him.

The only comfort Will can offer Jem comes in the form of a silver power from a silver box. Will takes the powder and pours a spoonful down Jem's throat, and Jem coughs it all up, into Will's face. The powder burns Will's skin and he wipes it away, quickly. It's no wonder why Jem doesn't like to take his medicine. Will repeats the dose and forces Jem's jaw closed. Jem screams, and blood bubbles from his nose and out of the corners of his mouth. He starts to choke but Will keeps Jem's jaws clenched tight. Jem squeezes his eyes shut. His face turns red, then blue, and one last torrent of blood pours from his nose before all is silent.

Jem lays sprawled on the bed, his night shirt dark with blood, and his hair is soaked with it as well. Blood still drips, slower now, from his nose and mouth. Will's hands are slick with it, and he smears the blood onto the sheets on either side of Jem's body. He sits back, just over Jem's hips now, and takes in the red, white, and silver colors before him. Jem's chest is barely rising and falling; Will dreads the day he sits back to see Jem no longer breathing. He imagines he'll sit this way for a long while, until someone finally pulls him away, takes him to get cleaned up… and then what? When Jem ceases to breathe, Will ceases to live.

There are foot steps outside the door, and then the door opens. Charlotte hurries in, followed by Tessa. They're dressed in white dressing gowns- the color of mourning.

"You're just in time," Will says. "I need a wash cloth to wipe his face." Will sits beside Jem as Charlotte walks into the bathroom. Tessa remains beside the bed, her hands knotted in fear, staring at the pale boy surrounded by blood. "Why are you here?"

"I heard him screaming," Tessa says.

"Take a good look, Tessa, I know you want to," Will says, and he rolls Jem onto his side and begins to pat him on the back, hard, between the shoulder blades, until Jem finally coughs a few times and then gags up thick, black clots of blood. Tessa looks near faint. Jem pulls his knees to his chest and shivers. His face is the same color as the sheets, but his lips are black with blood. Jem sinks his fingers into a pillow and takes a few painful sounding breathes.

"Will," he whispers.

"Right here," Will says, and he rubs Jem's back in a circular motion until Charlotte walks out with a moist wash cloth. Jem's crying, and Will wipes all of the tears and blood from his face. Jem presses his hand into Will's hand, and Will clasps it tightly. He looks back up to Charlotte and Tessa. "Can I help you with anything?" Will just wants them gone, no; he wishes they had never shown up in the first place.

"Summon Sophie if you need help," Charlotte says. "James?" Jem looks up at Charlotte and nods. She touches his face, gently, once, before hurrying from the room.

Jem's attacks upset Charlotte greatly; it is one of the reasons why Will has been handling them since he was strong enough to hold Jem down.

"And you, Tessie?" Will asks, and Tessa disappears from the room. Will watches her go, mindlessly rubbing circles on Jem's back with the palm of his hand.

"Will," Jem says. "She was just-"

"I know what she was. That doesn't make it right for her to see you this way. I'm going to run a bath for you, if you are feeling up to it," Will says.

"A bath sounds wonderful," Jem replies. Will leaves the bed, and goes into the bathroom. He sees his face in the mirror, pale and frightened, and Will takes a few breathes and reminds himself that the attack over and Jem is still alive. There is blood on Will's cheek and he rinses it away in the sink.

Jem has a massive claw foot tub in his bathroom, and Will plugs the drain and then fills the bath up with hot water. He adds soap powder to make bubbles, then returns to the bedroom to help Jem undress, walk across the room, and then climb into the bathtub. Jem lays back in the water and sighs. The bubbles surrounding him change from white to a dingy red color from the blood, and Will tries not to watch.

He returns to the bedroom and strips the sheets off of bed. Will wasn't quick enough; the blood has soaked through to the mattress and now joins the dark permanent stains from the magnitude of attacks this particular mattress has seen. The sheets are stiff from their near constant bleaching but Sophie does her best to keep them as white as possible, lest they become another reminder. Will takes the sheets and drops them outside of the door, making them Sophie's first priority in the morning.

Will remakes the bed with a fresh set of sheets, goes to Jem's wardrobe, and pours some brandy into two glasses. He carries the glasses into the bathroom and offers one to Jem, who is looking up at the ceiling, his hair spread around his head like a halo stained with blood.

"Where do you think we go when we die?" Jem asks.

"The Silent City," Will replies. Jem takes a glass and has a sip. He started drinking this way, after every attack, when he was only thirteen. The alcohol soothes his nerves and takes the taste of blood from his mouth. Will lifts his glass to his lips and pours the contents down his throat.

"That's where we go physically, Will. I mean, where does… the rest go?" Jem asks. "I know you don't believe in Heaven or anything like that, but where do you think our souls end up?"

"I don't… I…." Will manages. He and Jem have always avoided this topic before because their beliefs differ. Jem had never pressed Will for an answer… before.

"Do you think I'll get to see my parents again? I would very much like to see my parents," Jem says.

"I don't know," Will says. "I've never died before." Jem looks over to Will, his eyes full of tears, his chin trembling just a little. Will kneels beside the tub. "I'm sure you'll see your parents again."

"I don't know what I'll say to them," Jem says. Will brings out a small cup from beneath the sink and begins pouring water on Jem's head. The water runs down his face, tinged red with blood, and Will tries to rinse all of the blood from Jem's hair before he pours soap into his hand and begins to scrub Jem's hair. "It feels as though it's been forever since I saw them."

"It's only been about five years," Will says.

"That's nearly a third of my life," Jem says. Will is silent, working the soap into lather. If they aren't careful, his silver hair could become stained with the blood. "Will. Tessa is just… she cares, is all. She cares about me."

"She should care enough to leave well enough alone," Will says.

"I don't feel the need to hide anything from her regarding my illness," Jem says. "She could be here a long time. It's only right that she…"

"Ever since she got here she has created one problem after another," Will says. "I say good riddance. I'll be glad when she's gone. Then life can return to normal."

"Jealousy is becoming of you," Jem says, and Will dumps a cup of water on his head.

* * *

><p>When Jem's finally scrubbed clean, Will helps him from the tub, sits him on the lid of the toilet, and then begins to vigorously dry Jem off. Jem is the only person Will fusses over in this manner, and so Jem obliges him.<p>

"You just want to see me naked," Jem says.

"I don't mind seeing you naked, but not when you're recovering from an attack. I'm better than that," Will says.

"Not by much," Jem says, and he rudely handles Will in his pajama pants. Will steps aside, continuing to dry Jem's hair. Jem pulls Will's pants down just enough and kisses the soft skin between Will's hips. Jem teases the area with his tongue, and Will pushes him away and pulls his pants up. "So how was the warlock Magnus Bane?"

"Accommodating," Will says, and Jem attempts another touch at him. "Will you stop it?"

"I could never tell with him. I know he has a mixed sexual persuasion but the real question is…" Jem begins. "Does he enjoying giving love… or taking it?"

"Neither," Will says.

"So he's versatile. Lucky you," Jem says.

Jem pushes Will away and stands up. He walks over to the sink and looks in the mirror. From beneath the bathroom sink he withdraws a bottle of clear liquid, which is oily in its consistency. He pours a bit into his hand and then takes to rubbing the oil down his arms, causing his runes to turn a glossy black. The oil smells like lavender and chamomile. Jem pours more oil into his palm and then rubs it down his chest. He leans back against the bathroom sink and gives Will a sultry smile.

"What are you doing?" Will asks.

"I'm moisturizing my skin," Jem replies, but his left hand flicks over each of his nipples, which are only a few shades darker than his skin. He sighs, softly, then gets more oil and continues on down his chest and tight stomach. He strokes the length of his shaft once, twice, and in the heat of the bathroom, Will watches as Jem causes himself to swell and harden in his palm.

"You're doing far more than moisturizing your skin," Will says.

"Am I now?" Jem asks with a smile. He bends over and rubs the oil down his legs, taking care to ensure the proper application to the inside of his thighs. When he straightens once more, he's completely erect. Jem smiles, he sits on the bathroom sink and pulls one knee to his chest, leaving the other to dangle above the floor. He reaches down, wraps his fingers around his erection, and begins to touch himself, gently, as his left hand moves to explore the skin on his chest once more.

"You're not well," Will says, "you should go to bed." Jem laughs but he continues rubbing himself as though Will didn't speak. Will drops the towel he's holding onto the side of the bathtub and takes a step forward. "Jem, come on. You need some rest before you…" Jem moans and bites his lip, and it's all Will can do to not acknowledge his own arousal, still hidden beneath his pajama pants. Jem's eyes snap open. They're back to a dark silver color, and are intense in their gaze.

"I need my back oiled," Jem says, "can you do that for me?" He climbs off the sink and turns his back to Will as he braces his hands on the counter. Will walks over, takes the oil, pours some into his hands, and rubs it across Jem's shoulders, and then down his spine to Jem's tail bone and the Agility rune there. Then Will dips lower, rubbing the oil into Jem's muscled backside, rubbing straight up the middle last.

Jem's breath catches in his throat and his head falls back a little. His right hand grabs Will's hand, and he pulls it around his body and presses it tightly to his erection.

"Touch me, Will," Jem says, and Will obliges Jem by stroking up and down Jem's silky smooth length. "It's been so long."

"It's been six days," Will mumbles, kissing Jem's neck. He looks in the mirror and sees Jem's eyes closed, his head resting against Will's chest, lost in feelings and hidden emotions.

"It's been so long," Jem says, and he's right, for it has been a long time, indeed. After a minute Jem turns around and slips his hands down the back of Will's neck. He kisses Will on the lips, gently, but beneath the kiss, Jem is simmering with desire. It's unexpected. "I've missed you so much, Will. Did you miss me?" Will nods. "I love you, Will."

"I love you to, Jem," Will says, and Jem smiles. He kisses Will on the lips again. Jem's body feels warm from the bath and slick from the oil, and when he starts to unbutton Will's night shirt, Will allows it.

Only Jem could take the simple task of shirt removal and elevate it to an art form. For every buttons he opens, Jem finds a spot on Will's chest to kiss and tease with his tongue. His touch alone is what makes Will unbearably hard, but Jem ignores Will's erection and it only makes Will want Jem more.

Jem finally opens the last button and then pushes the shirt off of Will's shoulders. The shirt falls on the ground at Will's feet, and Jem looks Will in the eyes. They each lick their lips and wait for the other to make a move.

Jem kisses Will again, and this time it's with a hunger Will hasn't felt from Jem in a while. Jem is hungry, no, he's starving, and Will tries to satisfy Jem's hunger, but it's not enough. Jem's fingers find the waistband of Will's pants, and he pushes them down and then pulls Will's naked body against his own.

There's a sense of coming home in this. Will knows every inch of Jem's body, and Jem's body feels good against his. Jem kisses Will passionately, tasting his spit as though it is the only thing left to keep him alive.

"Fuck me, Will," Jem whispers. "Make me feel good." His fingers probe around to Will's backside, touching the place where Magnus was last, and Will grabs Jem's hands and pulls them away. Will slips his hands down to Jem's thighs, lifts him, and sits him back on the bathroom sink. Jem smiles and looks up at Will, his eyes a dark silver beneath heavy lids.

Will feels torn. He thinks about all he had with Magnus, and all he could have with Magnus, but then there's the boy sitting on the bathroom sink wearing a rune that matches his own, a boy who already swore he belonged to Will until death.

"I love you," Jem whispers. "Love me."

Will closes his eyes, presses his lips back to Jem's own, and they kiss and touch until each are ready for the one another. Will takes the lavender and chamomile oil and coats his own erection with it. He takes some and gently touches Jem with it, carefully lubricating the entrance. Jem closes his eyes and nods, and Will slips a finger inside. Jem gasps a little, as he always does, and a shy smile creeps across his face. He pulls his knee up, and a blush covers his chest.

For so long when they were together, Jem was always afraid to show that he was enjoying himself, but as he watched Will enjoy himself, he came out of his shell, bit by bit. They experimented for many years, finding new places to touch, and in doing that, they came to be completely at ease around one another.

"More," Jem whispers, and Will slips another finger inside. He looks for the place Jem is dying to have touched and when Jem pulls his leg up higher, Will finds it without much effort. Will strokes his finger against the spot and Jem's thighs shiver with delight. Will reaches down and touches himself as well. At Jem's demand, Will adds another finger, moving them around to stretch Jem, just enough.

Jem's breath is coming in quick little gasps. His chest is shiny from oil and a fine layer of sweat. Jem gasps Will's name, and his eyes flicker open and closed. It's a rule; Jem must remain quiet, and so Will enjoys torturing Jem in this way.

Jem completely, painfully, aroused, and he nearly cries out when Will leans over and closes his lips over Jem's swollen cock, swabbing at it with his tongue as he gently sucks. Jem's clenches his hands into fists and he pushes Will's face away, shaking his head.

"Please," Jem says, "I don't want to have to beg." Will withdraws his fingers and steps closer to Jem, slipping his hands down to Jem's waist. With his left hand, Will presses himself against Jem, gently, and pushes Jem's leg to the side so it's parallel with the countertop. Jem lets out a soft breath, and Will slips inside.

Jem's eyes snap open, and with shaking fingers, he draws Will face to his, and they kiss as Will begins to thrust slowly.

"Faster," Jem says, and he reaches down to touch himself as Will quickens his thrusting, one hand holding onto Jem's leg, the other gripping Jem's waist. Will remembers this from his time with Magnus, and knowing what Jem is feeling only arouses Will further.

Humidity makes the air thick and causes Will to break out in a sweat across his upper back. Jem's hair sticks to his face and hangs in his eyes, which have closed again. He's touching himself, and yet, he makes no noise. They have conditioned themselves to be together this way.

Jem's sexual prowess is impressive and he knows just what to do to only enhance the experience for Will. He throws his head back, and pushes his body against Will, giving as much resistance as possible. He spreads his legs so wide, there's little to nothing that would keep Will's body from making full contact with Jem's. Every inch of Will disappears into Jem again and again as he goes as deep as he possibly can. Jem is so tight, every time feels like the first time, and it's all Will can do to not come before Jem does.

Jem's knuckles are white as he braces himself on the counter with one hand and continues touching himself with the other. His mouth is open, caught between shock and ecstasy. Jem grabs Will's face, he kisses him with wild abandon, tangling his tongue with Will's, and he does it all in complete silence.

"I love you," Jem whispers, right before he comes hard enough for his whole body to shake and writhe in orgasm.

Will has no choice but to follow.

* * *

><p><strong>Teaser: (Just because)<strong>

"Why Tessie, I knew you would come around eventually," Will says. He glances at Jem, who is now trying to wipe up the tea that ended up on the table and not back in his cup. Jem looks up, blushing furiously. "But you want something from us both?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and also, thanks to all of you who came over to the M rated section for this story! If i didn't have readers, I would write, but I wouldn't enjoy it nearly enough. I love reviews, anonymous or otherwise, so keep them coming because they give me another reason to keep writing. Please enjoy this next chapter, and have a wonderful weekend!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

The next morning, Will wakes up with his arms around Jem, and Jem's hand rests on Will's thigh, as though sometime during the night, he reached over and pulled Will that much closer to him. For a moment, all feels perfect, and Will enjoys that moment, because in it, Will is in bed with the boy he loves, and the boy he loves isn't dying. They are together, and that is all that matters.

Will wants to close his eyes and fall back asleep, but he can't. When they were younger, Charlotte used to find them together in bed all the time and it was never a problem, but a month ago she found Jem tucked into Will's bed, with Will lying very close. She advised them both to never let it happen again. Will knows that if the Enclave ever found out about them sharing a bed, they would dump acid on their parabatai runes and tear them apart.

Will sits up in bed and Jem snorts a little in his sleep. His fingers dig into Will's leg a bit but Will pulls away and climbs out of bed. Jem rolls from his side onto his back, and his right hand falls across his chest. He's completely naked, and Will can see the outlines of his runes beneath the sheet. In one respect, Will feels guilty for staring at Jem's body as he sleeps, but at the same time, Will allows himself a moment to appreciate every inch of Jem's body, and then walks in the bathroom to collect his clothes.

The bathroom is still a mess. Will pulls on his pajama pants and then tosses a towel into the hamper. He places the infernal body oil back beneath the sink. Will resists smelling it because he knows what the scent of it would do to him this morning. Only Jem could take the relaxing scent of lavender and chamomile and make it one of the few scents that could make Will's pulse throb with desire.

When the bathroom is clean, Will walks back out. The light coming through the bedroom window is muted, not at all as sunrise should be. There's a flash of lightning followed by a crash of thunder. Jem's body shivers in shock, and his left hand slams onto the bed in the place Will used to be.

"Will!" Jem cries, and Will walks over and touches Jem's hand. Jem opens his eyes and looks up at Will, quickly answering his questions: there is a thunderstorm brewing outside, but Will is here.

"Good morning," Will says. "Are you hungry?"

"Starved," Jem says, still catching his breath.

They separate, briefly, to each dress, and then meet in the hallway. The storm has blown in and the entire Institute is rattled by thunder and illuminated by flashes of lightning. Jem walks close to Will, and the knuckles on his right hand brush against Will's arm. Jem smiles, rubs his arm against Will's, and Will returns the smile. He glances behind them, sees that the hallway is empty, then grabs Jem by the hand.

Will throws open the door to an unused room and slams the door shut. Will turns to Jem, takes Jem's face in his hands, and kisses him, gently, on the forehead. Jem looks up, smiles that far away smile that Will loves, and he kisses Will passionately as they each press against the door.

Will knows that he could have Jem at this very moment if he wanted to, and that Jem would willingly give himself to Will, but this morning, in this dark and forgotten room, with the storm raging outside, just having the silver haired boy in his arms is all Will would ever need.

They finally pull apart a few minutes later.

"Later," Will whispers, and he kisses Jem's cheek.

"Later," Jem promises, and it's as if the bad parts of last night never happened.

They continue down to the dining room, and take their seats at the table. They are the first ones there (as opposed to the last, which, they are often are) with the exception of Sophie, who pours their tea as she stifles a yawn and makes no mention of bloody sheets. She does bump Jem's arm, and apologizes profusely. Jem just shrugs and gives her a smile she blushes over.

Jessamine appears next. She takes a seat at the far end of the table and spends time staring up at the ceiling, or at the buffet of food, but never looks over at Jem or Will. Jessamine sleeps in another part of the Institute, away from Jem's room, but she still claims that she can hear Jem's screams.

One time, after a particularly horrible night, Jessamine said she wanted to put Jem out of his misery and Will threatened her so personally, Charlotte ordered them both to be locked in their rooms for seven days time. Jem had an attack three days into the punishment and Will took an ax he had hidden in his room and hacked his door apart in blind hysteria. Jessamine stopped complaining about Jem's attacks after that.

Charlotte and Henry are noticeably late. Will sips his tea and nods knowingly to Jem.

"Charlotte is getting on in age," Will says, "and if Henry should happen to be impotent…" Jem's cheeks turn pink and he lifts his tea cup to his lips. "Why the whole marriage could be a sham!"

"You could be impotent," Jem whispers.

"But I'm not," Will says, "am I?" He nods again and Jem looks away. Another clap of thunder reverberates in the Institute and Jem shivers a little. He's terrible with storms when there is nothing to distract him from them.

Tessa arrives, dressed in a dark blue dress. Will looks her up and down and settles his eyes on the bit of cleavage she's showing. Tessa only notices Jem's smile. She practically skips down the side of the table to them.

"Good morning," Tessa says, and she smiles. This is the first time Will has seen her smile since the other night, when she was with Jem. "I need something from the both of you."

Jem has just taken a sip of his tea and he gags it back into his cup, making a terrible noise as he does so. Will offers a napkin and dabs thoughtlessly at Jem's face as he looks up at Tessa.

"Why Tessie, I knew you would come around eventually," Will says. He glances at Jem, who is now trying to wipe up the tea that ended up on the table and not back in his cup. Jem looks up. "But you need something from us both?"

"Oh, I…" Tessa stammers.

"I'm sure something can be arranged," Will says reassuringly. "I would even offer to sit this one out, provided that I was still able to watch. Perhaps I could give suggestions."

"I'm not asking for anything… sexual," Tessa mumbles.

"Sexual?" Will asks, loudly. Jessamine looks over, shocked, and scowls at Tessa. "Tessie. You should know better than to speak this way to a man in the morning. You could arouse me." Will looks her up and down with a judgmental frown.

"You won't arouse him," Jem says quickly. "I mean, it takes more than just speaking… to… arouse… a man." Jem looks at his tea cup, distraught over having said the word "arouse" in front of a lady. Will laughs softly.

"Yes, Jem is absolutely right. It takes far more than words," Will says. "It takes teeth lightly covered by lips and just the right amount of friction. Beyond that, it's simple." Tessa's mouth fall open and she looks at a loss for breath. "Just like one might eat a peppermint stick. How do you feel about peppermint sticks, Miss Gray?"

"William," Tessa snaps.

"Peppermint sticks are so easily consumed. It's all tongue manipulation and suction," Will says. "One must lick the stick top to bottom, top to bottom again, suck the sweet, sugary candy from the tip of it, and repeat until finished."

"I am well aware on how one would eat a peppermint stick," Tessa scoffs.

"Well, then, that's a start. You won't be totally hopeless," Will says. "You do celebrate the very mundane holiday of Christmas, correct? One would think that you might have lots of experience with peppermint sticks."

Jem is holding his tea cup so tightly, the handle could break off. He silences Will with a glare and looks up at Tessa.

"Miss Gray… Tessa. What can we do for you?" Jem asks. Will chuckles and nods to Jem.

"Magnus Bane is coming to the Institute today. He's going to tutor me in the ways of being a warlock," Tessa said. "He wants to work with me on my Changing, so he has asked that I collect one item from everyone in the Institute. I was hoping you might have something…"

"I would rather you not change into me," Jem says. "Just… no."

"I have something for you," Will says, and at Tessa concerned look, he continues with, "Get your mind out of the gutter, girl! It's my family ring. I'm just not wearing it at the moment. I've left it upstairs."

"I'll come collect it before my lesson," Tessa says.

"I'll see you then," Will says. He gives Tessa a leering smile, and she goes to find a place to sit.

"Must you act like a complete fool?" Jem asks beneath his breath.

"My father didn't love me, not nearly enough," Will laments. He lifts his tea cup and loudly slurps the liquid in it. Will belches loudly and Jem pulls his chair further from Will, to physically distance himself from Will. Charlotte walks in, followed by Henry.

"Will," Jem says. "Don't-"

"Good morning, Henry," Will says in a congratulatory tone. He winks for good measure. Henry blushes a crimson red and takes his seat at the head of the table. Charlotte blushes as well and Will resists the urge to applaud.

* * *

><p>Magnus shows up just as breakfast is finishing, and he gives Will and Jem a nod before he sits down with Charlotte and Henry. Magnus accepts a cup of tea from Sophie and he sips it as he talks with them. Today, Magnus is dressed in a dark three piece suit, and his hair is slicked back as if he is trying to blend in to mundane society. He looks down the table, gives Will and Jem a polite smile and nod, then turns back to Charlotte and Henry.<p>

"He's got a mark on his side," Will whispers.

"So you did see him naked," Jem replies. "I was wondering, and now…"

Will looks at Jem, unsure of whether or not to apologize, but his thoughts are interrupted by Magnus's laughter from the other end of the table. Henry is smiling as well. Magnus looks back at Will, catching his eye, and turning away. Will stares at Magnus, impolitely, yes, but he discovers from Magnus's repeated glances towards Will and Jem's end of the table that the warlock is unable to keep his eyes off of Will.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" Jem whispers.

"No thank you," Will replies, and Jem folds his arms, miffed. He glares the remnants of breakfast on his plate, then stands up and tosses his napkin down.

"I don't feel good so I'm going to go take some more of my poison and then lay down for a little while." Jem only refers to the drug as his poison when he's feeling resentful.

"James, Brother Enoch is here to see you," Charlotte says, and Jem looks up at her. "He's down in the Sanctuary."

"Very well," Jem says. His face has paled considerably, but he maintains his composure.

"Come to the drawing room when you're finished. I have an assignment for you and Will," Charlotte says. Jem smiles and nods. Will grabs his hand and stands up.

"Why are you going to see Brother Enoch?" Will asks.

"I'm thinking of joining the Silent Brothers," Jem says. "I find a life of walking around dressed in what amounts to a bathrobe not speaking to anyone most appealing." Tessa giggles and Will realizes that with a few runes, he can at least lock Tessa out of the Institute. He wonders how long it would take Charlotte to notice that she's gone. Will considers asking Magnus for help but wonders if locking Tessa out would violate the Accords. It has to. Fucking Accords.

"I'm serious," Will says. "Why is he here?"

"I didn't summon him," Jem mumbles, "I never have…" Jem's past with the Silent Brother's was frightening. They were the first to try to cure him, and had failed after many weeks of torture.

"I'm coming with you," Will says.

"No. Stay here. If Brother Enoch wanted to speak to the both of us, he would have asked," Jem says. "I'll come find you when I'm done." He pulls away from Will and leaves the dining room without a look back.

Will is ready to leave the dining room and either sit outside of the Sanctuary or return to his room when he hears Charlotte call his name. Magnus is standing beside her, clutching a black briefcase. Charlotte asks that Will show Magnus to the Library, and Will looks from Magnus, who gives Will a small smile, then back to Charlotte, who looks stern.

"It is right next door," Will says. "The room with the books… you can't miss it."

"Mr. Bane is a guest is our home. I expect you to ensure that he feels welcome," Charlotte says. "Now, please."

"Come along, please, Mr. Bane," Will says, walking from the dining room. Magnus follows. Will walks to the Library door and opens it, gesturing Magnus inside.

"You owe me a conversation," Magnus says. He seizes Will by the arm and pulls him into the Library. Will follows, and Magnus walks over to a table and drops the briefcase onto a table.

The Library is so quiet, it feels as though all of the air has been sucked out of it. It smells like candle wax, dust, and mildew. The light is muted as usual; the only windows in the large room are hidden by bookshelves and the bits of witch light on the tables barely give off any light when no one is around.

"Such piss poor weather we've been having. Sun one minute, rain the next," Will says. "What do you think?"

"Earlier this week, when we were together, you said that what we were doing wasn't just sex to you," Magnus says. "Then for reasons known only to you, you walked away." Will shrugs and looks down at the ornate carpet covering the Library floor. "I've been hired at Miss Gray's request to help her learn more about her abilities. I'm not sure how long I will be here…"

"Months. Miss Gray is hopeless," Will says. "You should focus your talents on finding Miss Lovelace a husband. That is an endeavor which would prove fruitful."

"Miss Gray is not hopeless," Magnus says. "I'm going to be working at your Institute for at least the near future. I only want to tell you that just because we might have had sex, it doesn't mean things have to be strained between us."

"Of course," Will says. Magnus removes his jacket, drapes it over a chair, and then sits at a table. He looks up at Will and smiles.

"That is all. It just seemed wrong not to address what we did," Magnus says.

"We're two grown adults," Will says, and Magnus smiles, "it will never happen again."

"If that's what you want," Magnus says. "If you want… something different… feel free to let me know." Magnus opens his briefcase and withdraws a book and some papers. "You'll know where to find me." Will looks behind him, at the Library door, and then at Magnus, who brings out a candle, snaps his fingers, and ignites the wick. Magnus looks up at Will and frowns. "That is all. You can leave." Will nods and takes a deep breath.

"So, are you still going to see that play tomorrow night?" he asks.

"Yes. Camille bought me season tickets to the Strand that include an opera box. It seems wrong not to go simply because I have no one to go with," Magnus says. Will nods again. He folds his hands and releases them, running his palms down the front of his shirt.

"I should go," Will says.

"Yes," Magnus states, "you should."

"Have a lovely day," Will says, and leaves the Library.

Once out of the Library, Will looks down the long, dark hallway that leads to the Sanctuary, but resists going down there. Instead, he returns to his room, where he drops a bottle of ink on the floor so at least Sophie has something else to do today. Will walks through the puddle a few times, tracking black shoe prints all over the room, then looks at the mess he's made and, as usual, feels that he could have done better.

Will looks out of his window, observes the torrential downpour outside, and sighs. He goes to his jewelry box and picks up a silver ring. Will slips it onto his right index finger and spins it around, seeing the flock of bird silhouettes carved into the metal, as well as the gothic "H" for his family name.

On the morning of Will's departure from his parent's home in Wales, he snuck into his parent's room and had taken the ring from his father's jewelry box. Back then, his hands were small, and the ring only stayed on his middle finger. It had taken Will weeks to make it to London, and he was near dead from hunger and dehydration when he finally found the Institute. Will's first memory of his time spent at London Institute was the moment he collapsed on the front steps, in front of Charlotte, and had held his right hand up. Charlotte had taken one look at the ring and pulled Will inside.

Now, Will feels conflicted about the ring, and therefore, doesn't wear it often. The ring ties Will to an unpleasant past, and yet, it contains the symbolism of his last name. As Jem wears his ring as a reminder of both his past, and who he is, Will does the same.

After brushing his teeth to rid his mouth of the taste of breakfast, Will kicks off his shoes and stretches out on his bed. Sophie has done an excellent job of making it as usual, and Will is trying to think of some way to make light of her bed making skills when there's a knock at the door.

"Come in," Will calls. The door opens and Tessa looks in, her eyes wide and nervous. "My dear, I won't just give things up because you ask for them. You have to walk in and show me you deserve it." Tessa storms into the room and closes the door. Will sits up on the bed.

"Mr. Herondale," Tessa snaps.

"Yes, Miss Gray?" Will asks, sitting up. "Have you some sort of grievance with me?"

"I resent you implying that I want you," Tessa spits out. "All of your… disrespectful… words… at breakfast…"

"My goodness, are you completely opposed to sweets? You won't accept chocolate, discussing peppermint sticks infuriates you…" Will begins.

"You and I both know you were not talking about peppermint sticks," Tessa says.

"Very well, then, Miss Gray," Will says. He crosses his legs at the knee and folds his hands. "What was I talking about, if I was not talking about peppermint sticks?"

"You were talking about… sucking…and licking…" Tessa says, and her face burns red, as though she can't believe she is even saying these words. "Some sort of…"

"Candy?" Will asks. Tessa grips the sides of her dress and looks pained.

"You know what word I want to say," Tessa said. "A lady should never say the word…"

"Penis?" Will asks. Tessa gasps and clutches her chest. She falls back against the door, looking faint, and Will wants to repeat the word over and over again just to see her face turn more and more horrified. Tessa fans her face and blushes so deeply, her chest flushes red as well. "Miss Gray, I can assure you, I was not discussing the licking and sucking of a part of male genitalia at the breakfast table. Honestly, what kind of man do you take me for?"

"I know exactly the sort of man you are," Tessa says, pointing with her finger. "You want to look bad so no one cares about you."

"And no one does care about me," Will says, "no one but you and Jem." He smiles, climbs off the bed, and approaches Tessa. "You care about Jem, don't you?" Will lifts his hand, and runs it through Tessa's hair. He's nearly got her pinned against the door now, and she looks up at him, eyes struggling to keep contact with his.

"I do," Tessa says.

"And I care about Jem, and I care about you," Will says. "Quite a conundrum we have, Miss Gray."

"Jem's more of a man then you," Tessa says.

"I know," Will whispers. "Isn't it arousing?" Tessa studies him, looking into his eyes, and Will stares back. "What I really want to know is… what sort of woman are you, kissing two boys in the span of just a few days?"

"I did not…" Tessa began.

"Don't lie to me. I saw you and Jem," Will says. "In my eyes, it makes you worldly. Experienced, if you will, and I do enjoy experience."

"So I like Jem, and I kissed him." Tessa wipes her hands down the front of her dress, nervous.

"And you like me, and you kissed me," Will says. "Who will you pick?"

"Neither of you," Tessa says. Will places his lips beside her ear and presses his chest against hers.

"That's what I thought," he whispers. "Now why don't you take what you've come for?" Will looks Tessa in the eyes and kisses her gently on the lips. Tessa slaps him across the face and tries to push him away, but Will doesn't move. He merely lifts his right hand and spreads his fingers wide.

"Your ring?" Tessa asks.

"But of course," Will says. "Though, it belonged to my father, and if you turn into that awful brute of a man, I do feel sorry for you." Tessa holds out her hand, but Will presses his hand over Tessa's left breast and leans close to her face again. "Go on." He clenches his teeth tight and presses his hips against hers. "Take it."

Tessa reaches down and pulls the ring from Will's finger. Will releases her with a cruel smile.

"My offer still stands," Will says. "I don't mind that you've kissed Jem. The girls I've been with… they've kissed many, many, boys before me."

"You don't deserve him," Tessa says. "You and Jem… You don't deserve him."

"Miss Gray," Will says, condescendingly, "don't you think I already know that?"

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Here is a teaser from Chapter 7:<strong>

The last time Will had seen his man, he had been much larger in size, with hair as black as chimney soot and eyes as dark as the Thames.

**There's also a steamy smutty alcove scene. Have a good weekend!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: I would LOVE your thoughts on this chapter so provide them if you would like (as a review, please?), because knowing some of you, you might like to vent. If not, I'll have to be content with how many of you have signed up for Story Alerts and Favorite Stories, because there are a lot of you, which is fine. I feel like I'm writing a guilty pleasure but if that is what you consider this story, there is nothing wrong with it. This story is meant to be enjoyed, so please, enjoy (and review if you so choose to). Thanks for reading!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

After Tessa departed from the room, Will stretched back out upon his bed and drifted to sleep as the storm raged outside.

As Will sleeps, he dreams, and in his dream, he sees a sofa covered by blankets in a room filled with candles. Will is knelt on the sofa and between his legs lays a warlock with tan skin and thick black hair which hangs in his eyes. Will runs his hands up and down Magnus's chest, watching as Magnus's nipples harden and the skin there breaks into goose flesh. Magnus reaches down, he grips Will's hands with his own, intertwining their fingers. They kiss gently and Magnus runs his hands down Will's sides, drawing him closer, but he never asks for more than for Will to remain in his arms.

Undetermined amounts of time later, a set of cold fingers slip up the back of Will's shirt. Will turns onto his back to see Jem sitting on the bed, his face pale, so Will quickly sits up and grabs Jem's hand, for the news Jem brings cannot be good.

"There was another attack at the Shanghai Institute. Yanluo got in again… he killed the entire family that was living there, but left a child, a girl, about the age of seven, still alive and addicted to the poison," Jem says. "She's near death in the Silent City. Brother Enoch wanted to inquire about my treatment."

"Did you tell Brother Enoch that the powder has kept you alive for this long?" Will asks. "That you would be dead of not for it?"

"No," Jem says, "I advised him to let her die."

"She's a child," Will says, his voice shaking a little.

"As was I." Jem stands up and walks over to the window. "A life spent suffering isn't a life worth living."

"You can't mean that," Will says.

Jem's eyes fill with tears and he turns away. Will wants to run over, take him in his arms, and try to get him to stop crying, but it's no use. Sometimes, Jem needs to cry, so Will sits on his bed and listens to Jem sniff and wipe his tears away with the back of his hand.

"No. You'll never be everything I need," Jem says. He looks down at the tears streaking across his parabatai rune, and then uses the cuff of his shirt to wipe away a fresh batch of tears. "You'll never be the cure I need, or the girl I want to marry and have my family with… you'll only be the man standing beside me until the end. I need more than you can ever give me. It's time we realize that, Will."

"I already have," Will says. He lies on his bed and looks at the boy standing beside the window. For a moment, he imagines Jem fading from his life, like fog melting in the sun, and he thinks about how lost and alone he'll feel without the man he loves. The thought sends a pain through his chest and Will closes his eyes, opens them, and finds Jem still standing there.

"Charlotte wants to see us in the drawing room," Jem says. "I'm not sure why." Will climbs off the bed, puts on his shoes, and follows Jem down to the drawing room.

Charlotte is going over paperwork when they walk in, but she looks up, paying no mind to Jem's blood shot and tear filled eyes. He must have already told Charlotte the Silent Brother's report.

"I have an assignment for you both," Charlotte says.

"Have you found a lead on Nate and Mortmain's whereabouts?" Will asks. "Can we go kill them now?" He imagines running a seraph blade through their bodies and watching them bleed to death as nothing more than stupid mundanes.

"Will," Jem whispers, and Will realizes that he has his hands clenched into fists.

"No," Charlotte says. "The Clave is still working on that."

"Oh, right, of course. The Clave," Will says, "Thank the Angel for The Clave! Maybe now we can all sleep at night, knowing that the bumbling band of buffoons known as the London Enclave is working hard to find two people we should I have never let live in the first place!"

Charlotte frowns and Jem looks over at Will, a tight scowl on his face.

"Are you finished?" He asks.

"Far from," Will replies, but at Charlotte's angry glare, Will closes his mouth.

"There's a book in the library known as The Green Book. I want you to find it, read over it, and compile for me a concise summary of the book's contents. Twenty pages, due at this time tomorrow morning," Charlotte says.

Will's mouth falls open. "You're assigning us… a book report?"

"Yes, I am," Charlotte says.

"It is important that we never cease to learn," Jem says, and Charlotte gives him a smile. Jem had always been an excellent student, as well as a master in the art of telling adults what they wanted to hear. "Is it to be handwritten, Charlotte?"

"Yes," Charlotte says, and Will curses under his breath. "It is important that you each work equally on it."

"Most definitely, that's only fair," Jem says. "Will, we should get started. This is going to take most of the day, at least, if not half the night."

"I resent this busy work," Will snaps. "There are things to kill out there, Charlotte. My time is best spent honing my skills to more efficiently kill things. I don't have time to read books and summarize their contents. I'm a fully trained Shadowhunter, not a… book critic."

"While that may be the case, William, The Green Book was written by warlocks, and perhaps, at the end of this assignment, you may find yourself having a greater respect for them," Charlotte says.

"I have a very great respect for warlocks," Will says. "Especially when they are…"

"Come along, Will," Jem says, and pulls Will from the drawing room.

They walk down to the Library, pausing first in the kitchen to pilfer the ice box for two delicious lemon tarts that were supposed to be reserved for high tea. Will's licking sweet lemon filling from his fingers when he walks into the Library, stopping short when he sees a man standing by the table Magnus is seated at.

"Will-" Jem nearly runs into Will but stops beside him.

The last time Will had seen his man, he had been much larger in size, with hair as black as chimney soot and eyes as dark as the Thames. Now, his eyes are red and watery, and he's lost nearly a hundred pounds. He's frail, and his hair hangs in matted chunks of grey and black. At one time, he had runes covering his arms, but now, he only has pale white scars on his liver spotted skin.

"Father," Will whispers. Magnus looks at Will, and then at the man. He grabs the man's hand and pulls a ring off of it. The man melts down into the shape of a girl who is dressed in the black clothing of a Shadowhunter in training. A long brown braid spills down the girl's back, and Tessa looks up at Will.

"Will," Jem says, and he touches Will's hand. Will feels as though his heart has stopped cold and dead in his chest. He places a hand over his heart and takes a breath.

"What were in those lemon tarts?" Will asks, but he finds that he can't manage his usual wit.

"Go up to the alcove. I'll find the book and meet you up there," Jem says. Will walks over to Tessa. He takes the ring from Magnus and puts it on, and then touches Tessa's face, gently, reminding himself of who she is. Will turns, crosses the library, and ascends a spiral staircase to the second floor. He slips between two bookshelves and continues all the way back, through the bookshelves, to a small room.

The room is an alcove built for students to study in, however, after this alcove was built, the architect in charge of building the Institute decided that more space needed to be allowed for bookshelves, and so only one alcove was ever built. The alcove contains two walls covered with bookshelves which are filled with long forgotten books, and one floor to ceiling stained glass window depicting the Angel rising from the lake with the Mortal Cup and Sword in his hands. There is also a table with two benches down either side, and Will sits on a bench now. He puts his head between his knees and closes his eyes, waiting for the dizzy and light headed feeling to pass.

After a few minutes, Jem walks in. "That was frightening. Has he always looked that way?"

"No," Will replies. "He looks as though he's dying. I'm sure my mother is killing him." Jem sets a book bound in green leather on the table. Will finds that something seems familiar about the book, but, then again, the London Institute's Library is filled with many ancient volumes. He is certain that at some point in his time spent at this Institute, he must have seen this book before.

"Will, do you want to talk about it?" Jem asks, quietly. He sits down on the bench, straddling it. His left knee brushes against Will's, and he rests a hand on Will's shoulder. "We can talk about it, just you and me. I'll keep your secrets."

"You want to talk about… my father? My past?" Will asks, and Jem nods.

"I know this isn't something we usually discuss, but…" Jem glances down at his hands. "We can." Jem slips his hand up Will's shoulder to and gently rubs the skin back of his neck.

"I would rather not," Will says. Jem looks into Will's eyes, a sympathetic look on his face. Will leans forward and kisses Jem's sweet lips. "It only startled me, is all." Jem nods and kisses Will again, and then rests his forehead against Will's. Will looks into Jem's eyes and sees tiny flecks of black among the silver. They are the spots the poison didn't get to, yet.

"I'm right here if you want to talk," Jem says. He runs a hand down the side of Will's face and kisses him, then pulls away. "We should study."

"I think there are several other things we should do before we study," Will says. He takes Jem's face in his hands and kisses him passionately. He tastes lemon and sugar and he feels Jem smile. Will moves a leg over the bench so he's facing Jem. Jem stands up, straddles Will's lap, and sits down with his arms around him.

Will runs his hands up Jem's back, digging his fingers in so they scrape against bones, and Jem sighs. Will opens two of the buttons on Jem's shirt and licks the length of his collar bone. Jem runs his fingers through Will's hair, tugging on it so Will has no choice but to put his head back. Jem rubs himself against Will and a tiny moan escapes his lips. They could get caught, together in this way, but that's half the fun.

Jem kisses Will as hard as he did last night. Will kisses back, rejoicing in the feeling of familiar lips against his. Jem grinds his hips against Will's, rubbing himself against Will's crotch and Will loses all coherent thought when he feels Jem already stiff in his pants.

"At this rate, we'll never make our deadline for tomorrow morning," Jem whispers.

"Fuck the deadline," Will replies.

Jem lets go of Will and falls back onto the bench. Will looks at the base of Jem's neck, and thinks about how nice it would be to put a well placed hickey there. He stands up, as does Jem. Together, the push the bench aside and Will sends a thank you to wherever the Shadowhunter who built the table is, because this table suits Will's every desire perfectly.

Jem reaches up and unbuttons another button on his shirt. His cheeks are red, and his quiet breathes are masked by the sound of the rain drumming on the side of the Institute. The lighting in the alcove is dim, causing Will's focus on Jem to sharpen.

Will smiles and slips his hand inside of Jem's shirt. They return to kissing but Jem pulls away, already intent on the task at hand. He jerks Will's pants down, just enough, and then turns his back. Will grabs him from behind, unbuttons Jem's pants and slides them down to his knees. Jem's white shirt skims the very bottom of his back, and the sight of clothing, skin, and a barely covered up Agility rune over Jem's tailbone turns Will on in the most painful of ways.

"Take me," Jem says with a smirk. He shoves The Green Book aside and braces his hands on the table. Will moves closer and presses his hips to Jem's backside, slipping himself between round globes of finally built muscle and to a place that is very warm.

"You aren't ready for me," Will says.

"I'm ready," Jem replies. He reaches behind himself, takes Will's erect member, and begins pulling on it, dragging skin against hard muscle. His other hand sneaks around the other way, and without even looking, Jem touches Will and pulls their bodies together, and although it isn't yet sex, it feels very close.

Will kisses him on the cheek and smiles. With one hand he takes Jem by the throat and uses it to hold his head steady as he kisses and bites down the long line between Jem's ear and collar bone. His right hand slips down Jem's chest, into Jem's half open shirt, finding two nipples rock hard with arousal. Will twists his fingers over each of them. Jem releases Will, places his hands on the table again, and then presses his backside against Will's shaft, putting himself at the perfect angle for penetration.

Will reaches down, and grips Jem's erection with all five fingers. Will squeezes tight and then begins to rub, tightly. Jem gasps, he arches his back, spreads his legs, and whispers Will's name. Jem's breath brushes lightly against Will's ear and Will stiffens, painfully, pushing himself into Jem. Jem grits his teeth as his body refuses to let Will inside… just yet.

"Now," Jem hisses. His body is becoming sweaty against Will, and with Will's hand still at his throat, Will can feel Jem's pounding pulse.

"Ask me like the little gentleman that you are," Will says softly, still stroking Jem's erection.

"Please," Jem groans. Will squeezes the head of Jem's cock once, causing Jem to whimper, and then he releases Jem and brings his fingers to his lips. He licks his middle finger and index finger, and not shockingly, they taste like bitter salt. The taste goes away quickly as Will lubricates his fingers with salvia until they are slick. He rests his left hand on the back of Jem's neck, over the Speech rune drawn there, and Jem bends over, resting on his elbows on the alcove table. Jem looks back at Will and smiles.

Tessa laughs.

Will feels a shudder pass through Jem before Jem straightens, grabs his pants, and pulls them up over his hips. Every bit of concentration Jem had focused on him shatters before Will's eyes. Jem glances between the bookshelves, and Tessa laughs again.

"Later, okay?" Jem asks. He buttons his shirt with shaking fingers.

"Please?" Will whispers, but Jem shakes his head, pushes the bench back to the table, and sits down. He's still aroused but he just crosses his legs and taps his fingers on the table. Will pulls his pants up and wipes his fingers on the underside of his shirt.

"What's the matter with you?" Will asks. "You're so…hot one minute and cold the next. There's no middle ground with you anymore." Jem opens the book and spreads a few papers on the table.

"I just don't feel like messing around up here when Tessa and Magnus are twenty feet away," Jem mumbles. "That's not hot or cold, that's my sense of self preservation being logical and your sense of self preservation lacking as usual." Will resists the urge to hiss like a cat and sits back down on the bench, wincing when he feels himself begin to ache.

"Later?" Will asks. "Please?" He twirls a bit of Jem's hair in his fingers and Jem pulls away, just a little.

"Sure, maybe later," Jem says. "It depends on how far we get on this project. We've wasted enough time…"

"That wasn't a waste of time," Will says, but Jem shrugs.

Jem turns back to the book and Will looks him over. He has to keep reminding himself that this boy is still Jem, still the boy he loves, but when things happen that wouldn't have happened before, Will can't help but feel like the Jem he knows and loves has been taken away. In his place, there's a boy Will can barely recognize.

"Why does Tessa matter to you?" Will asks, softly. Jem shakes his head and turns a page in the book.

"Why did you have sex with Magnus?" Jem replies, his voice dripping with venom. "You seem to be in a sharing sort of mood. An answer for an answer."

"You first," Will says.

"Tessa is the first female I ever let myself take a look at," Jem says. "She's found herself in a scary and unfamiliar new land and I know what that feels like. So she matters, yes. She matters to me."

"And why did you kiss her?" Will asks, and Jem looks up. His eyes are filled with unexplainable tears.

"I wanted to know what it felt like," Jem says. "Now I know."

"That's the only reason why?" Will asks.

"I don't love Tessa. I love you," Jem replies.

"But you like her?" Will asks.

Jem slams his hands down on the table. "Honestly, Will! It happened once. It meant nothing. Can you say that about Magnus? How many times did you kiss him in three days? Or was it all sex?"

"Why does it matter what I did with Magnus?" Will asks. "I've been with many women and it's never mattered before, but since I was with Magnus, it suddenly is the end of the world."

"It just matters," Jem mumbles. "Why him?"

"Because he was there," Will says, leaving out the fact that on that cold, dark and rainy night, he felt drawn to Magnus is a way he could not explain. Will had met many people, but had only found himself wanting to spend time with Jem and Magnus. Even now, with Jem beside him, nearly crying, Will only wants Magnus.

"That's all?" Jem asks. Will nods and wipes some tears from beneath Jem's eyes.

"That's all," Will says, "See? It was just as stupid a reason as you had for kissing Tessa."

"Right, of course," Jem says quickly. "But I thought I lost you!" Jem wraps his arms around Will and holds him close. "Oh, warlocks are terrible creatures!' Will pulls away, quickly, but Jem doesn't ask why.

"Let's just get some work done," Will says, and he takes the book from Jem and begins reading.

Will's voice nearly puts Jem to sleep, and so they take to the floor, leaning up against the window, Jem reclined between Will's legs, each reading in silence. After a while, Will gets restless and Jem takes the book from him. They agree to go down to the kitchen for lemonade. Jem stands up, offers Will his hand, and Will takes it, pulling himself to his feet. Jem smiles; he draws Will's body close to his and kisses Will's lips.

"I love you," Jem whispers.

"I love you to," Will says.

"Always," Jem says, and gives Will a secretive smile.

They hold hands until they get to the balcony overlooking the Library, then, Jem lets Will's hand go and walks down the steps ahead of him, to the main floor of the Library. Tessa is standing beside Magnus, still, holding something in her fist. At Magnus's instruction, she closes her eyes and squeezes her fist. Jem stops to watch, as does Will.

The Change is slow, gradual. Tessa shrinks down a few inches, and her hips become thinner. Her bust decreases in size but remains. Black runes appear down her arms, intertwining with her veins, and her hair changes from brown to long, straight, silky, and black. She becomes built in the same thin manner that Jem is built in. Before Will can open his mouth, Tessa's eyes change from being round and wide in shape, to narrow and almond shaped. When she opens her eyes and looks up, Will sees that they are as black as her hair… and as black as Jem's had been when he came to the Institute.

Will feels the sting of Jem's finger nails sinking in to his arm. Jem's gasping for breath and he can't stop staring at the sight before him.

"Mum?" Jem asks. Tessa looks over and makes eye contact with Jem.

Jem crumbles to the floor, curls into a ball, and starts to scream.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for readingpretty please review? Here is a teaser!**

"So he might never be right again?" Will asks, and the Silent Brother does not answer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: You can thank William, Kate, and Team Jem Carstairs for getting this chapter a day early. I was going to post this tomorrow morning, but since I plan on spending the morning watching the royal wedding, I figured I would post the chapter early.**

**The Usuals: I own nothing but the plot I made up. Thank you for the amazing reviews, please, please, pretty please keep it up. It is hard to describe the little skip my heart makes when I get a new review but it means a lot. Thank you for reading!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

"You stupid, stupid, infernal girl!" Will cries. He's standing at the door to the weapons room, where Jem went after he bolted from the Library. Jem has locked the door with a rune Will can't unlock, and now, Will is desperately trying to open the door. Magnus is trying spells on the door, but because of the wards protecting the weapons room, nothing works.

Inside the room, Will hears metal slam onto the floor, as though Jem just wiped clean a table full of weapons. Jem's screaming. When he's having his worst nightmares, he still doesn't scream as loudly as he is now. Something shatters on the floor and Jem screams again, this time in pain. He starts to hysterically cry and Will punches the door so hard, his knuckles split open.

"Jem!" Will cries, "JEM!"

"Will, breathe," Magnus says, laying a hand on Will's lower back.

"Help me, Magnus," Will whispers. "Please, help me save him."

"It's going to be alright. We'll get him out," Magnus says. Will shakes his head, tries another rune on the door and turns the knob, but it doesn't open.

"He's going to send himself into an attack and if I can't get to him…" Will shivers. Jem thrashing about in a room filled with weapons is a recipe for certain death.

"What can Tessa and I do?" Magnus asks.

"Find me Henry and find me Charlotte. NOW!" Will replies. Magnus takes off in one direction, Tessa in the other, and as she retreats down the hallway, Tessa turns back and looks at Will, studying him, and then she disappears around a corner. She knows.

Glass shatters onto the floor and Jem lets out a blood curdling scream. There is a thud followed by a crack, and Will looks up to see that the tip of a battle ax has pierced the door. Will lays his hand on the door.

"Jem, listen to me. The year is 1878. You're in London. I'm Will, remember?" Will asks. Jem cries out a prayer in Chinese and another ax hits the door, this time, splitting the wood slightly. "Darling, if you keep throwing axes we'll never get to have lemonade."

Jem screams, shrilly, and sobs as though he can't catch his breath.

"Jem remember that one time we went to the park to feed the ducks? It was a hot summer day. We sat beside the water, and that one duck took a piece of bread right from your hand! Do you remember the duck, Jem?" Thunder crashes outside and Jem screams again. More metal bangs off the floor.

"I'm here. Are we under attack?" Henry asks. He looks, as usual, bewildered.

"No. It's Jem. He's lost his mind," Will says. "Tessa Changed into his mother…" Henry curses and tries a rune on the door that doesn't work. Charlotte shows up with Magnus a moment later. She pulls a key from a pocket in her dress, unlocks the door, and pushes it open.

An ax flies out of the door and lodges in the plaster across the hall, sending a rain of white powder onto the floor. Will looks in to see a fine layer of silver dust rising from a mess of broken weapons covering the weapons room floor. In the middle of it, beside an empty table, stands a boy covered head to toe in blood, gasping for breath. Jem's eyes are bloodshot and glassy with tears. They dart around the room, not focusing on anything. In one bleeding hand, Jem holds a metal disc with razor sharp teeth, pointed at anyone who approaches. His other hand is pressing the tip of a dagger into the side of his neck.

"Come no closer," Jem whispers.

Charlotte makes a pained sounding cry and Jem's eyes jerk over to her before he looks back at Will. Jem swallows, and a thick line of blood runs down the side of his neck. He's trembling as though he's frightened, but his frenzied eyes hide his thoughts.

"Jem," Will says. "It's okay. Just put the knife down. No one is going to hurt you." Will steps forward. Jem gasps and pushes the dagger deeper into his neck. "How about the disc?" Jem glances down at the metal disk but keeps it trained on Will. Will steps closer and Jem pulls his hand back, aiming the disc at Will. "Jem." Jem focuses on the center of Will's chest and licks his lips.

Will feels Charlotte and Henry breathing hard behind him, and oddly enough, he can smell Magnus standing just to his left, a foot behind. Will looks out of the corner of his eye to see a dark coat and two hands held out. When Will looks back to Jem, he sees that Jem has turned his eyes to Magnus, and he's staring at him with a sadistic little smile on his face.

"Demon," Jem whispers, sweetly, "where have you taken my mother?"

"She's dead, Jem," Magnus says.

"You fucking LIAR!" Jem screams.

Jem pulls his hand back to throw the disc. There is an explosion of blue sparks and Jem's face turns horrified before he drops each weapon and falls to the floor. Will catches him just before he hits and puts a hand over Jem's neck, where hot blood pours freely from the wound.

Will looks at the pale skin and the red blood seeping between his fingers, then up at the group gathered in the doorway. Magnus kicks a knife away and slumps against the wall, running his hands through his dark hair. Tessa has a hand over her mouth and is silently sobbing. Charlotte looks pale and faint with her hand over her heart as she whispers to the Angel. Henry is the one with enough wit to rush forward and draw a rune on Jem's neck to stop the bleeding. Will watches the wound heal, realizing only now that this is the first time he's ever seen Jem take his life into his own hands.

* * *

><p>They take Jem to the Infirmary and draw healing runes near the deep gashes in Jem's silvery skin. Will sends Charlotte away and he and Magnus remove all of Jem's bloody clothing. For all of the times Will has seen Jem naked, injured, or both, it never sickened him the way this does. Every necessary thing they do only feels like a violation of Jem's unconscious body, and finally Will steps away and lets Magnus do a job he never even volunteered for, only because Will cannot.<p>

"He should be comfortable now," Magnus says, finally walking out from the curtain that surrounds the bed Jem is in. Will has been sitting nearby, staring out the window. The storm has finally let up. "I've done a spell to minimize his pain and another to keep him unconscious."

Will nods. "Get me Charlotte."

"Will-"

"Charlotte."

Magnus rests a hand on Will's shoulder as Will stares at the floor in front of him. He can hear Jem breathing just a few feet away. Jem is shivering and crying softly in his sleep, and Will squeezes his eyes shut.

"Charlotte," Will says again. Magnus walks to the end of the Infirmary, his boots clicking softly on the floor. Will stands up, walks over to Jem's bed, and sits beside it. For a long while, Will only looks at the boy in the bed whose arms are covered with ribbons of angry red scars, and tries to remember him as the boy who kissed him passionately just two hours before.

Charlotte finally arrives with a Silent Brother who puts his hand to Jem's head, and then reports that when Jem saw his mother, his part of mind became convinced that she was alive, while the logical part of his mind said she was still dead. The confusion led to a psychotic break of sorts, forcing Jem to become unable to differentiate between reality and memory.

This break caused every bad memory Jem had managed to repress to come flooding forth once again, overwhelming his mind with a mixture of good and bad thoughts, all spinning in circles relentlessly. There is no treatment to protect one's mind from one's own self, and no way of stopping the thoughts.

"So he might never be right again?" Will asks, and the Silent Brother does not answer.

Will spends the afternoon at Jem's bedside, trying to offer some comfort, and Magnus sits beside Will for the same reason. Sophie attempts to summon Will for lunch and he refuses, when she comes for dinner, he sends her away close to tears. Will knows that Sophie cares about Jem and he knows that Jem would want him to be nice to her but he just can't, not right now.

Just after midnight, Will finally ventures to speak when he asks Magnus what caused Tessa to Change into Jem's mother.

"According to Charlotte, Jem gave her the ring a few years ago," Magnus explains. "It had belonged to Jem's mother, but the ring has been solely in Charlotte's possession since Jem gave it to her. She's worn it on several occasions and was under the impression that Tessa would turn into the ring's most recent owner."

"Shouldn't Tessa know who she's going to Change into?" Will asks.

"That's why I was working with her," Magnus replies. "Once in a while things happen beyond your control, Will."

"Do you not think I know that? Do you not realize that I have spent my entire life dealing with things beyond my control?" Will's face turns red and his eyes get hot, as though he might break down at any second. He clenches his fists tight and looks back at Jem, willing himself not to cry.

"I think you need a break," Magnus says, standing up. "You haven't eaten since breakfast…"

"No," Will says. "I'm staying here."

"Will, I want you to come with me, now," Magnus says. He puts a hand out and Will takes Magnus's hand, stands up, and walks with Magnus from the Infirmary.

Anyone could see them holding hands in this moment, and Will would have explaining to do, but he doesn't care, because right now, Will has a warm hand in his, and that feeling alone is worth the explanation.

Will trips, or pretends to, and he slips his hand from Magnus's and wraps an arm around Magnus's waist. Magnus grabs him, pulls him close against his side, and whispers, "I knew I should have fed you before now." Will feels a shock rip up his spine.

"I'm hungry," Will says. Magnus looks at Will, his face just inches away, and smiles.

They get to the kitchen door and walk inside. The room is dark and cavernous, and the second the door closes, sealing out any bit of light from the hallway, Will wraps his arms around Magnus and presses his lips to Magnus's lips. Magnus moans in surprise, pulls his mouth away, and then gently kisses his way down the side of Will's neck. His tongue glides over the rune there, and a painful shock that comes with the kiss causes Will to only push himself deeper into Magnus's kisses and sink his nails into the warlock's rib cage.

Will reaches into his pocket and pulls out his witch light. Clutching it in his hand, Will slips his tongue into Magnus's mouth and steps forward. Magnus slides his hands down Will's back to his bony derriere, gripping it tightly. Somewhere in this kitchen there is a counter, or a stove, or a table, and Will pushes Magnus across the room with his hips and mouth alone until Magnus's hand finally slams against a wall. He lifts that hand and places it on Will's cheek, gently pushing his face away.

"We shouldn't," Magnus says.

"Please stop talking," Will mumbles. He reaches around and takes Magnus by the hips with fingers that won't stop shaking. It is so much like the first time they were together, just four short days ago. "I've wanted this…"

"Don't say it," Magnus says. "Just… don't."

"I should have never left you," Will says. He tries to find Magnus's mouth but ends up placing a wet kiss on Magnus's cheek.

"Yes, but, you did," Magnus says. "Four days ago you said you didn't want this."

"I changed my mind," Will says, "I'll never leave you again. I promise." He bites Magnus's neck and sucks gently. Magnus makes an exasperated moan and Will looks up. Magnus's eyes are lime green in the witch light, and half closed. He shakes his head but Will hastily unbuttons Magnus's waistcoat and frees him of it, then pulls out his tucked in shirt. Will releases the button on Magnus's pants, jerks the zipper down, and pulls Magnus's pants down to his knees. He kneels on the floor before Magnus, who is now just barely exposed and leaning against what appears to be the icebox door.

"No, Will," Magnus says. Will traces his tongue up the inside of Magnus's right thigh and Magnus moans, so Will turns his head and licks the inside of Magnus's left thigh as well. By now, Magnus is rock hard, and Will's having trouble denying his own state of arousal. He continues his tortuous lickings, getting closer and closer to the inevitable place, and he tastes different parts of Magnus. Will remembers the last time he tasted Magnus and wonders if it might be just as good.

Will drops his witch light onto the floor and the kitchen goes pitch black once again. Far above, Magnus hisses as Will grips and nearly swallows Magnus's erection in one smooth motion.

"What the hell are you doing?" Magnus whispers. His sweating hands pull at Will's hair. "Will!"

Will closes his eyes and focuses on the taste of salt, sugar, and Magnus. He tries to take as much of him into his mouth at a time, he pulls away and only nibbles gently with his teeth, and all the while, Magnus protests, but he certainly doesn't push Will away. Will sucks harder, deeper, and faster. He flicks his tongue at just the right moment, probing at the warlock's sweet tasting slit. Magnus gasps, knees shaking, and smacks Will upside the head. "No, Will. Stop."

Will releases Magnus and squints up into the darkness. Magnus is right there, so close. His body burns hotter than Will's and Will can feel the heat against his face.

"What do you want?" Will asks. "I'm going to give you whatever you want."

Magnus's voice sounds pained when he whispers, "I want you to come up here." Will stands up and Magnus reaches down to pull up his pants. Then, he wraps his arms tight around Will's body.

"What are you doing?" Will asks.

"I'm holding you," Magnus replies. "You've been held before, right? By someone other than Jem or me?"

"Of course," Will says. "I just want…you know what I want and I know you want it." Will can feel Magnus wanting it. He tries to pull away, to go down on his knees for Magnus once again, but Magnus won't let him go.

"Is that love?" Magnus asks.

"Of course it is," Will says. "It feels good and we share it… it's got to be love."

"It's not love," Magnus says. "It's just sex."

"So?" Will asks. Magnus takes Will's hand and intertwines their fingers.

"This is love," Magnus says, "Do you know how to love?"

"Of course I know-" Magnus clutches Will tighter against himself. Will attempts a kiss, but Magnus pulls away. Will licks Magnus's neck and Magnus shakes his head. Every time Will attempts something, Magnus just holds him tighter, until Will can barely breathe, and finally, Will puts his arms around Magnus and rests his head on his shoulder. Magnus sighs.

"I was afraid I might have to drug you in order to make you feel something besides lust for me," Magnus says. Will just presses his face to Magnus's shirt. He and Jem used to sleep like this all the time, and it was love, yes, but it always came right in the middle of a night of love making. It never came fully dressed in a pitch black kitchen at a time when Will needed more than sex at a moment's notice.

"What is this?" Will asks.

"It's love," Magnus says. "Love can be shown in many different ways. It can be five years of quiet tolerance. It can be a cook who always manages to make a meal you're hungry for, and this is love, Will. Love is being held by someone who wants nothing in return." Will lifts his head from Magnus's shoulder and kisses him once, gently, on the lips. He closes his eyes and lays his head back down. Magnus slips one hand up the back of Will's shirt and keeps it there, skin on skin. Love feels good.

For a long while, Will remains in Magnus arms and starts to wonder what other feelings he might be missing.

When they finally separate, Will's eyes are aching with exhaustion, and Magnus isn't looking much better. It has been a long and horrible day, but at least with Magnus, it was endurable.

"I'll make tea," Magnus says as Will finally lights his witch light again. Magnus spies a candle on the table, snaps his fingers, and the candle ignites. Magnus's trousers fall to the floor and Magnus turns to Will, a blush on his cheeks.

"Perhaps you should pull up your trousers before you boil the water," suggests Will.

* * *

><p>They return to the Infirmary sometime later, and when Will walks in, he see Church curled on the bed beside Jem. The cat gives Will a sullen look, as usual, and Will steps forward, prepared to banish the cat from the bed, but Magnus holds him back. Jem lifts his hand and drops it onto the cat's back, sinking his fingers into the cat's fur. Magnus nods, and they sit down beside the bed.<p>

"Why don't you sleep? I'll watch him," Magnus says. Will nods and lays his head down on the side of the bed. In seconds, he's asleep.

As Will sleeps, he dreams of Jem talking to someone. Jem explains that his first memory of his parents was when the three of them walked to a village close to the Shanghai Institute for supplies. On the way back, Jem became tired, so his father lifted Jem onto his shoulders. His father had been a very tall man, and Jem was certain he could see everything from his father's shoulders. Jem's father spoke of the world and told Jem of all the places he could see, and Jem was fascinated that such a huge world existed.

Jem tells other stories as well, about all of the fun things he and Will had done at the London Institute. One time, they caught a toad outside and brought it in. They put it in Jessamine's bathtub, brought it worms and dead flies, and then waited outside her room to hear her hysterical screams. Will swore Jessamine could catch demon pox from the warts on a toad's back, and Jessamine refused to leave her room for several days.

Jem spoke about the many dances he had learned at Shadowhunter Academy, and spoke about the pretty girls he danced with in Idris. He talked about going swimming on a hot summer night with Will, and he mentioned feeding duck pie to ducks, however, he said he wasn't sure if the ducks had acquired a taste for themselves or not.

When dawn arrives, the sun floods the Infirmary with Light. Will wakes up with his head in Magnus's lap, sprawled across two chairs. Magnus is running his fingers through Will's hair, and Will closes his eyes again, wanting to enjoy this.

"It wasn't your fault," Jem's voice is quiet and sounds strained from yesterday's screaming. "When I was little, my father was the one who stayed home and raised me. My mother went out and fought demons. It was her way of… ensuring that the world would be safe for me to live in. Despite how she died, I still believe she died a hero. When you changed into her… it frightened me, but I liked seeing her dressed for a fight. It's a good way to remember her."

Will sits up and sees Tessa sitting on the other side of Jem's bed, holding his hand. Jem doesn't have the energy to sit up so he's still flat on his back, but his face is relaxed and his eyes are open. He's alive, and he's not screaming. He's somehow conquered his own mental demons and survived.

"How are you feeling?" Will asks, taking Jem's right hand.

"Fine," Jem replies. "How are you?"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Here is a teaser:<strong>

"Oh, of course," Jem says, "you'll go out and get drunk, you'll never tell me where you're headed, tomorrow morning you'll lie to me about where you had been…"


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes: So I just realized that I write all of these long chapters and you all, in turn, read them. So I want to thank you for that. I appreciate every single review and if you feel like leaving more feel free. If you feel like reacting to the end of this chapter and giving me your opinions and thoughts, know that they are welcomed. Also, remember that I own none of these characters. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Jem spends the next day in bed, recovering. Will spends the morning sitting at Jem's bedside, watching him sleep, and the afternoon training in the park with a group of older Shadowhunters. The training is really just mindless pain and the killing of small demons, but it feels good to not think about anything but life or death.

At the end of the afternoon, Will returns to the Institute, bruised and sore. He refuses healing runes from Charlotte, barely acknowledges Magnus on his way out the door, and goes upstairs to clean up. Will gets a bloody nose halfway up the steps, bleeds all over the floor, and screams for Sophie before walking into his room. There, Will pours a glass of gin, strips naked, runs a bath, and climbs in to soak in the water. He passes out and wakes up an hour later.

Dinner is served promptly at six-thirty, and when Will walks in, Jem is already sitting at the table, so Will sits beside him.

"How was training?" Jem asks.

"Fine," Will replies, "how was sleeping?"

Jem shrugs and rearranges his silverware. Will brushes some hair away from Jem's neck and looks at the inch long scar there that is almost healed. Jem shakes his head and pulls away.

"I'm sorry," Jem whispers. He looks up at Will, briefly, and then back down at his silverware.

"There is nothing to be sorry about," Will says. "I'm just happy to have you feeling better."

"I'm thankful to be feeling better," Jem says. "I thought we could go out tonight. I heard that a Midsummer Night's Dream is playing at the Strand. It would be nice to have an evening to ourselves. I know that you enjoy Shakespeare."

"I have plans," Will says. Sophie pours them glasses of ice water and Will has a sip. "Maybe tomorrow night, we could do something."

"Oh, of course," Jem says, "Tonight you'll go out and get drunk, you'll never tell me where you're headed, tomorrow morning you'll lie to me about where you had been…"

"I'm going to the brothel. There's a woman there by the name of Mary Marguerite who can tie the stem of a cherry into a bow with her tongue," Will says, "This I must see."

"I want to see," Jem says, but then Charlotte and Henry walk in, followed by Tessa and Jessamine, and the conversation switches to more innocent topics.

* * *

><p>Dinner is quiet and filled with pointless small talk and immediately following it, Will returns to his room, locks the door, and walks in the bathroom to shave. He's concentrating heavily on the task when a head of silver hair appears in the mirror.<p>

"Boo," Jem says, and Will slices his neck open with the razor. He presses his hand over the wound and whirls around to glare at Jem. "About time I saw you bleed." Jem pulls out a stele and heals Will, then puts his stele back into his pocket.

"Why are you here?" Will asks.

"I wanted to know why your door was locked," Jem replies. "Also, I really need to talk to you about something important, so finish shaving, okay?"

Will nods and goes back to shaving. Jem perches on the side of the bathtub and doesn't speak until Will finishes shaving and turns to Jem.

"How many girls have you been with?" Jem asks.

"I never bothered counting," Will replies. "Why?"

"It just seems like there has been so many," Jem says, and Will shrugs. "How can you be with so many girls and not remember how many there were, or even their names? Shouldn't sex be more than just the friction and release?"

"But that's the best part," Will says, "If I don't have to get to know them, and it doesn't mean anything." Jem nods slowly. "There are different reasons to have sex, Jem. You can have it purely for selfish pleasure, or because you love someone. I love you, and my favorite way of showing that is by making love to you. But once in a while it's nice to be selfish and let myself be pleasured by a girl I have no obligations to."

"So, with Magnus… did you love him? Or did you just want to be selfish?" Jem asks.

"I didn't…. of course I didn't love him," Will scoffs. "I showed up at his house and one thing led to another. It was nothing. Magnus is…he's a warlock, Jem. I don't…"

"Right, Downworlders are for sex, nothing more," Jem states. "I just wanted to make sure nothing was going on with you and him. After all, Magnus is going to live a lot longer than me. You might not be threatened by him, but I am."

"Jem," Will begins. He walks over, takes Jem's hands in his, and runs a finger over the scar on the back Jem's thumb. "Three days with Magnus would never make me change my mind about four years spent with you."

"Good," Jem says. He stands up and kisses Will on the lips.

"You never asked me about my going to the brothel before," Will says, "why now?"

"I'm certainly mature enough to understand the reasons for having sex," Jem says, "but I was also… wondering… what it was like to be with a girl." Will studies Jem. In the five years he has known him, and in the four years since the two of them began noticing girls, Jem never once said anything about girls beyond remarking on either their looks or attitudes. His opinion on Tessa was surprising, to say the least.

"It's nice. Different from what we do, and yet, the same," Will says. "You aren't missing anything."

"But you seem to enjoy it, so there must be something good about it," Jem says. "What is it?"

"What's brought this about?" Will asks. "You haven't… had sex with a girl, have you?"

"You know I'm a virgin," Jem mumbles, staring at the floor. "But when I was sleeping… not all of my dreams were bad. I had one of a… sexual nature. You weren't involved. Tessa was."

"What happened?"

"Well, in the dream, I woke up in my room, and Tessa was sitting beside my bed. She told me that you had gone on a dispatch with Gabriel of all people, because I was injured, and she said that Gabriel was your parabatai," Jem says, still looking at the floor.

Will laughs. "Are you sure that wasn't a nightmare?"

"It was most definitely not a nightmare," Jem says. "Tessa and I got to talking, and then we started… kissing like lovers might kiss. Tessa was rubbing her hands up and down my chest, and then she took my shirt off. I removed her dress." There's a noise in the hall and Will looks out, but the door is locked.

"Then what?" Will asks.

"We were both suddenly naked… and I was aroused," Jem says with a blush. "She lay down on the bed, and I knelt over her, pushed her knees apart, and … I realized didn't know how to… be with a lady. Then I woke up."

"That was a nightmare," Will says. "Rest assured, when you're faced with that situation, you'll know what to do. Humans have been doing it for thousands of years."

Will washes his face and pats it dry with a towel, then turns to leave the bathroom.

"I can't stop thinking about it," Jem says. "I can't stop thinking about Tessa naked in my bed and I'm starting to get scared, Will. I really think that I'm going to die a virgin."

"You aren't a virgin," Will says. "That ship has long since sailed away." He walks into his room and Jem follows.

"Stay in tonight," Jem says, "We can finish what Tessa interrupted wherever you want. I thought we could go down to the holding cells near the Sanctuary and you could lock me up with those blessed vampire shackles we found and take me against the concrete wall. Or we could go demon hunting. That would be fun to."

"I really just want to go out tonight and clear my mind," Will says.

"Then take me with you," Jem suggests.

"What?" Will asks.

"I might as well lose my virginity tonight," Jem says. "After all, I could be dead tomorrow; therefore, it is important that I lose my virginity to some nameless whore just like you did."

"I've invited you out countless times for this exact reason, and now, after you had a dream about Tessa, you finally want to come with me?" Will asks. "Stay in and have sex with Tessa."

"NO!" Jem exclaims. "I mean, no. Not Tessa. I barely know her."

"You seemed pretty comfortable with her the other night," Will mumbles.

"I want to come with you. I might need your help… with the lady. And we both know how much you enjoyed the last threesome," Jem says. "Remember?"

"I could never forget that one time at Shadowhunter Academy," Will says, rubbing his palms together.

"So how about it? We'll have a great time tonight, just you, me, and some girl that makes her money flat on her back." Jem gives Will a bright smile, and his eyes shine with excitement.

"Not tonight. I'm in need of sometime alone," Will says. "How about tomorrow night? I'll do whatever you want tomorrow night."

"Whatever I want?" Jem asks. Will smiles and nods. "I'm going to spend all night thinking about it."

"Tomorrow night, I'm all yours," Will says. "I'll stop by your room when I get back. If you're awake, we'll talk," Will says, and shows Jem to the door.

"Have fun tonight," Jem gives Will a small smile. "I know I will."

* * *

><p>At seven thirty, Will leaves the Institute, walks some way alone, and then blends into the crowd walking towards a more populated district. He's wearing a black frock coat with shiny black lapels, a white shirt, black pants, and has his blue silk scarf loosely around his neck. Most people who see the dark haired boy only look at him for a moment before turning away.<p>

Will curses this plan, and then curses it more when he approaches the theater and doesn't catch sight of anyone familiar. He leans against a pillar, away from the front doors of the theater, withdraws a flask from his jacket, and takes a sip.

"You're lucky I brought both tickets," A voice says. Will spits gin onto the ground. He looks up to see Magnus standing beside him, dressed in formal black as well and wearing a green silk scarf around his neck. The green brings out Magnus's eyes, and Will opens his mouth to say something but can't find the words. "Also, lucky for you, my doorman was busy tonight, or you might have been left out in the cold. As it stands, here I am, with an extra ticket, and you, in dire need of one. Shall we?"

"Just so you know, this is only…" Will begins.

"Shakespeare, I know," Magnus says. "It's nothing but you, and I, a Shadowhunter and a Warlock, going to see a play. That's all." Will nods. "Now come along, we should find our seats." Magnus turns his back on Will and walks into the theater, and Will follows. His arms bumps against Magnus's as they walk inside, and Magnus looks over, biting his lip to hide his smile. Will smiles, blushes, and looks away.

"It's just a play," Will mumbles.

"Just a play," Magnus agrees.

They watch the play from Magnus's opera box. Following intermission, Will finds Magnus's chair just a little closer to his, and when the lights go down, Magnus rests a hand on Will's knee. He leaves it there for the rest of the performance.

After the play, it would be easy to go their separate ways, but Will and Magnus walk for a while, talking about what brought Magnus to London (work) and what Will's plans are when he turns 18 (he's not sure) and when they get in sight of the Institute, they cross the street and walk around another block. A cold breeze smelling of river kicks up, and when Magnus reaches over, takes Will's hand, and holds it so they are palm to palm, Will doesn't object.

Magnus explains how this part of London looked before the Great Fire of 1666, and Will just nods and listens to Magnus's rambling until Magnus stops abruptly.

"I'm talking entirely too much, aren't I?" Magnus asks. "I always talk too much when I'm around someone I…"

"There's something I would rather do with my mouth, is all," Will says. Magnus's mouth falls open, about to protest. Will smiles and gently kisses Magnus on the cheek. "Thanks for the play."

Magnus laughs, exhales, and kisses Will in the same manner. "The pleasure was all mine," he whispers. Magnus holds Will's hand tighter, keeps him this close for another moment, and then they continue walking the dark and lonely streets.

Finally, Will's feeling weary and tired, and Magnus walks with him into the front gates of the Institute. Clouds are beginning to cross the night sky, bringing a storm. There's thunder in the distance, but all Will can hear is Magnus's footsteps and soft breath beside him. Magnus stops just inside the gates and looks up at the words written on them.

"Dust and shadows, huh?" Magnus asks. "You're more than that." Will turns to Magnus. The moon is high in the sky and casts them both in dark shadows. Magnus's pupils are huge and dark, and Will looks into them before he steps forward, grabs Magnus by the lapels of his jacket, and kisses him on the lips.

Magnus takes a hiccupping breath and kisses back, resting his palm against Will's jaw as he parts his lips more and deepens the kiss. Their tongues begin their now familiar dance, and Magnus's heart pounds beneath his jacket. After a moment, Magnus pulls away.

"Stay the night," Will whispers. "I'll sneak you out in the morning."

"I have to be here in the morning. I have more lessons with Tessa," Magnus says. He brushes a lock of hair from Will's face and rests his warm palm on Will's cheek. "Besides…"

"Oh, fuck it, Magnus, just stay the night," Will pleads.

"We don't even know what this is- you don't even want anything anyway," Magnus says. "I'm not staying the night. I'm not risking Charlotte and Henry finding out until…"

Magnus looks off into the distance, and then turns back to Will, tossing down the playbill in his hand. He kisses Will again, holding his face with both hands. Will digs his fingers into Magnus's waist, kissing him back in the fading moonlight and giving more than he ever has before.

There's a flash of lightning, and they separate. Will grabs Magnus's hand and pulls him across the courtyard and up the Institute's front steps as the wind kicks up and rain begins to pour down. They get wet, just a bit, but it's more than enough. Will stumbles over to an overhang, pulling Magnus with him. They hastily drop their coats to the floor and Magnus presses Will against the cold stone exterior of the Institute.

The air is damp and chilly and it cuts through Will's shirt, but Magnus is warm, and when he kisses Will, he carries with him a feverish temperature. Will runs his hands through Magnus's dark, wet hair and draws him even closer.

"I love you," Will whispers. He kisses Magnus again, slipping his tongue against Magnus's tongue.

"No you don't," Magnus replies, "its still lust."

"I don't care what it-" They press back together, kissing harder, more passionately. Magnus is gasping and Will can feel the hard muscles in his stomach contract with each breath. Will slips a hand up Magnus's shirt, gripping his side. "I just want it."

Will closes his eyes, he turns his head, and Magnus kisses across Will's cheek to Will's ear. When the warlock's tongue grazes Will's ear lobe, Will presses himself closer to Magnus, as close as he was last night, when Magnus held him in the kitchen and showed him what love was. Will has wanted Magnus in his arms since last night, no, Will has wanted Magnus since he left him.

With his left hand shaking, Will unbuttons Magnus's pants. Magnus gasps and bites Will on the neck. Magnus shakes his head in one moment, and then fumbles with Will's pants in the next. Their desire has become evident, and Will just wants more.

"Just come inside," Will whispers.

"No," Magnus shakes his head. "I don't want to rush into anything with you."

"Please."

"No."

Magnus takes Will's hand and places it on his side. Will slips this hand beneath Magnus's shirt as well, holding him by a thin and muscular waist. Magnus kisses Will again, and Will closes his eyes to see lightning flash behind his eye lids. Thunder crashes, throbbing like a heart beat and ripping across the sky.

"Come to bed with me," Will whispers. Magnus shakes his head and traces his lips up the side of Will's face, kissing his forehead gently last. Magnus sighs and rests his forehead against Will's. He has his hands on Will's lower back, rubbing gently.

"You have no idea how hard it is to turn you down," Magnus mumbles. "But I refuse to let you take me to bed before I take you to dinner. If you want to be with me, you'll play by my rules."

Will moans, putting his head back against the stone. "Rules?"

"I'm not going to bed with you without some sort of agreement between us. I genuinely like you, Will, and I won't give you myself if all you want is sex. If you want to be with me as more than friends, you'll give me an answer tomorrow. If you don't want to be with me, you'll either tell me tomorrow, or ignore me, and I'll figure it out on my own. Either way," Magnus kisses Will once more, reaches down, and buttons his pants, "I will see you in the morning." Magnus walks off of the Institute's front steps and goes around the side of the Institute. Will sees a flash of light, and he knows that Magnus is gone.

Will leans back against the exterior of the Institute and runs a hand through his hair. It doesn't matter that it's raining, outside, or where anyone could see them, Will cannot stop thinking about all of the ways he would have had his way with Magnus in this very moment. Will never understood addiction before now, but his body is literally screaming for Magnus to return and finish what he started. Will is aroused, painfully so, and there is now no hope of Magnus giving Will the relief he needs. Now, there are rules and a question that needs an answer. Will runs his hands through his hair and represses a frustrated scream.

It is several long minutes before Will manages to calm himself. He leans over, picks his coat up from the floor, and finds that in Magnus's haste to leave, he forgot his coat. It smells sweet and smoky, just like Magnus. Will holds it to his nose for a second before going to the door and walking inside the Institute.

Church is sitting by the door, his back legs spread wide as he licks himself. Church looks up and Will swears he sees the cat sneer before he returns eagerly to his task, mocking Will with every flick of his tongue. Will growls, he stomps at the cat, and Church leaps up, hisses at Will, and then darts between Will's feet as Will crosses the foyer, causing Will to slam into a wall. Will swears and storms toward the cat but he can't see in the dark. Church hisses again as he prances up the steps, and Will follows, half tempted to wring the immortal cat's neck.

Will's head has been spinning since he started kissing Magnus, so he walks down the hall and goes straight to his room to drop the wet coats over a chair. He kicks off his shoes, then leaves his room, crosses the hall, and opens the door to Jem's room.

The air in Jem's room is thick and humid. It smells of sweet alcohol and cinnamon, and there's a candle on the bedside table, lit but nearly burnt down to the plate it sits on. Will walks across the room, trips on clothing, kicks it aside and approaches the side of the bed.

Jem is breathing softly, and he's curled up on his side, barely covered by a sheet. He's infamous for kicking his sheets off when he's hot so Will doesn't correct the problem. Will leans over and kisses Jem on the cheek. His breath catches in his throat when he sees that the silver haired boy is naked in bed with a brown haired girl.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! There is no Chapter 10 teaser because at the moment that chapter is in shambles. But I can say that someone gets married in this story, and the wedding is announced in the next chapter<strong>.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: I own nothing/thanks for the reviews!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

By the time Will was fifteen, he and Jem had been climbing in bed together, blowing off school work in the alcove, and meeting in forgotten places of the Institute for two years. They had started having sex the year before, and just thinking about Jem's naked body turned Will on at all of the worst times.

Then, Jessamine Lovelace had arrived at the Institute, and Will found himself inexplicably attracted to her. Jessamine was an awful girl, really, all attitude and aloofness, but she also had attributes Will had never noticed on a girl before. Jessamine had long, blond hair, perfect porcelain skin and… breasts?

Will adamantly refused to be attracted to her, however, he found himself thinking about her body amid many trysts with Jem. He had never before compared a boy's body to a girl's before, but the differences were blatantly obvious. Suddenly, Jem was all bones and sensitive skin, and "ow, Will, that hurts," while Jessamine was curves, ridges, and… unattainable. Will was still definitely attracted to Jem and Jem's body; he was only dismayed to find that there were just so few soft places to hold onto.

So it was curiosity, really, that brought Will to a brothel on cold winter's night right after his fifteenth birthday. Jem was supposed to come along but had gotten sick earlier in the day, and besides, as he explained, girls didn't really interest him, not yet, anyway.

Upon arriving at the nondescript building, Will met with a Madame, whom he explained his demands to, and was immediately sent to a room. Will got lost twice, finally found the room, galvanized himself, and knocked on the door. At the call of a girlish sounding voice, Will turned the door knob and walked in. His jaw dropped and his body broke out into a cold sweat as his heart began to pound.

The room was stiflingly hot and smelled of perfume and spice. It was decorated in tones of red and contained a table with several candles on it, and a bed big enough for only two people. The walls were covered with red velvet.

On the bed before Will lay a woman dressed in a short red lace nightgown, and nothing more. She had tan skin and black eyes shaped like Jem's. Her hips and bust were composed of delicate curves, and her hair was long, covering her shoulders, and as black as Will's own. This woman was so completely opposite of Jem, and Jessamine… but she was what Will had asked for. Will swallowed and felt for the doorknob behind himself, considering the possibility of running.

"What's your name, child?" The woman asked. She was young, probably no more than five years older than Will- Charlotte's age.

"Will," Will managed, "and you?"

"Ting," the woman said. "It means-"

"Graceful," Will said. "Ting means graceful in Chinese." The woman had smiled and beckoned Will to the bed with a dainty hand. Will sat beside her, close, but not to close.

"Have you done this before?" Ting asked.

"It's my first time," Will mumbled with a blush.

"What do you want?" Ting whispered. She ran a hand through his hair and let her nails scratch his scalp. Will gasped and lmoved closer to her body.

"I want a first time worth remembering," Will replied.

Ting moved closer, brushed her nose against his, kissing him. Will kissed back, tasting tobacco and brandy on her breath. His body was shivering with nerves, but when he closed his eyes and let her kiss him passionately, his fear disappeared. Even his initial fear- that he would be unable to perform- melted away as he felt the usual stirrings in his body that always led to a good outcome.

Ting pulled off Will's jacket, then shirt, and then demanded he stand up. She stripped him of his pants, leaving naked and exposed, and shoved him back down onto the bed, straddling his waist. She raked her nails down his bony chest, leaving behind shallow scratches which filled with thin lines of blood. Will reached up, placed his hands on her hips, and then slid them up higher. Slowly, tentatively, Will gripped her breasts in her palms, gently rubbing them. His thumbs darted over her nipples. He pulled his hands away, lay them on the bed, and wiped his sweating palms on the covers.

Ting moved further down Will's body, leaving his waist and settling over his hips. She kissed him and rubbed herself against his nearly painful erection. She felt warm, soft, moist… Will bit down on her lower lip, moaned, tried to fight, tried to press inside, and tried to chase the warmth…

"Please!" Will gasped, "May I have you?"

Ting gave him a gentle smile. She raised the hem of her night gown, revealing parts of her body Will had never even considered the appearance of. He was unsure of whether to be repulsed or amazed, but every thought left his mind when Ting took a firm hold of his erection and slipped it inside of her. In seconds, Will felt his entire length enveloped in heat.

Will inhaled quickly and arched his back. His heart began to pound harder, filling his lower stomach with warm blood. Shock and fear stabbed at his chest. Will grabbed Ting by the hips and pushed deeper inside, feeling his skin against hers, and the fear was replaced with desire and aching arousal. Will thought he could die this way; he knew why the French called this feeling "la petite mort" for it was, indeed, what a small death had to feel like.

A ripping pain tore through his chest, and Will's eyes snapped open. He looked down to see Ting's thumb and index finger firmly clenching his right nipple.

"Not yet," Ting said. Will moaned and clenched his fists with frustration.

Ting laid her hands on Will's stomach and began to grind against him, back and forth, back and forth, keeping him deep inside. Will lay beneath her, his frustration melting into blind pleasure once more. His hands found her waist and his hips moved in the opposite direction as hers. He pressed himself in deeper in one moment, and then pulled back in the next. Ting's hair brushed against Will's chest as she kissed him, and he broke out in goose bumps despite the heat in the room.

"Fuck me," Will growled. Ting began to rub harder against him. Will gripped Ting's skin with sweating hands, wanting her to take her time; wanting her to hurry up. His moans echoed off the walls and his begging words blended into a series of compliments and orders. Just being loud felt taboo. Just being with someone besides Jem felt wrong and right all at once.

Ting tried again to prolong the endeavor but it didn't work. Less than a minute after they had begun, Ting lifted off of Will. A thin line of cream colored semen splashed against the hem of her nightgown as Will cried out, his body still quaking with orgasm. Will looked away, embarrassed that he had made such a mess.

"I'm sorry," Will whispered. It was the last time he would ever apologize to a prostitute.

* * *

><p>After leaving Jem's room, Will returns to his room, where he strips off his clothes and climbs into bed. He lays there for a very long time, watching the rain lash at the side of the Institute. The storm has lost most of its violence. Now the lightning flashes here and there. Thunder rumbles in the distance. It explains why Jem hasn't woken up, but then again, Jem has someone else to comfort him now. It is not as though Will didn't expect Jem to want to be with a girl, he just didn't expect it to be… her.<p>

Will wakes up at dawn after spending the night tossing and turning. He finds himself clutching Magnus's coat in his arms with his face buried in the dark silk lining, breathing in the scent of smoke, vanilla, and Magnus. There are hushed voices in the next room over and Will strains to hear them but cannot. A door opens and closes. Will shoves Magnus's coat beneath the bed and pulls up the covers. After a minute, Will's door opens.

"Will?" Jem whispers. Will makes no movement, and Jem closes the door, pads across the room, and jumps onto Will's bed. "Will?" When Will doesn't answer, Jem begins to lick gently down the side of his neck.

Will opens his eyes and sees silver hair. He closes his eyes and thinks of Magnus.

When Jem slips beneath the covers, all warm, smooth skin, Will lets him go. When Jem takes Will's erection in his mouth and begins to eagerly lick and suck it, Will rubs Jem's hair and thinks about the cold stone exterior of the Institute, a lightning storm, and a feverish body pressed against his, wanting more, but not asking for it.

After the first time, Will went back to see Ting once a week for the next six months. She was sweet, wonderful, and could offer to Will everything that Jem could not. Then, one night, he came to see her on a night other than his usual, and walked into her room to find her with none other than Benedict Lightwood. Will felt like his heart had been ripped out and stomped into a pile of tissue and blood. Discovering Ting with another man finally cracked what little innocence Will had left. Ting had multiple partners, she was a whore, and she was meant to be treated as such.

So now, when Will comes and Jem chokes, Will smiles, because now Jem is a whore in his eyes as well.

"You could have given me fair warning," Jem snaps, climbing up from beneath the covers.

"Sorry," Will mumbles. "It slipped."

"How about reciprocating?"

"No thanks," Will climbs from the bed and slinks into the bathroom. Will is brushing his teeth as the tub fills with piping hot water when Jem walks in. Will spits foam into the sink and washes it down.

"Next time, instead of wasting my time and effort on a cruel tease, you could just say you're angry about finding me in bed with Sophie," Jem says.

The confession falls like a stone onto the bathroom floor. Will exhales quickly and inhales through his nose. He looks in the mirror and sees his face, and Jem in the background, arms folded, looking at Will.

"Sophie?" Will whispers. "You were with Sophie? Not Tessa?"

"I told you I couldn't be with Tessa. I barely know her," Jem says. "I've known Sophie since I was a boy. You didn't like her, did you?"

"No," Will says. "It's just…" For as much as Will enjoyed giving Sophie a difficult time, he could never imagine taking her virginity just because he felt like it. Given all she had been through, violating her out of pure selfishness was a sin Will would have never dreamed of committing. The thought of tainting such a good and sweet soul turns Will's stomach.

"She told me she didn't like you," Jem says, "or, she told me as much before we had a few drinks, played a few board games, and then retired to my room where we were one another's glorious first time. I've always admired her and I'm happy she was my first. And you were right, Will. When the time came, I knew just what to do."

"What did you do?" Will whispers. "Jem, what did you do?"

"I made love to Sophie," Jem says, "I did what you told me to."

"I didn't think you ever would! I thought you were better than this," Will states. "I thought you cared about people. I thought you cared about Sophie…"

"I do."

"I thought you cared about me," Will says, his voice cracking. He finally turns around and looks Jem in the eye.

"You can't really be upset about this," Jem says. "You've been walking out the door and having sex with girls who mean nothing to you for the past two years. And now you're mad that I stayed home and shared my first time with a sweet and wonderful girl? At least I have feelings for the girl I was with. Can you say that about Mary Marguerite?" Will gapes at Jem.

"I didn't go to the brothel. I went to see a play with Magnus," Will says. "I didn't tell you I was going out with Magnus because I knew you wouldn't want me to go."

"So you lied to me?" Jem asks. "You lied to me, had sex with the warlock, and now you're upset that I was with Sophie?"

"I didn't have sex with Magnus!" Will cries. "He didn't want to rush into anything! I lied to you but it was only to prevent this. Had I known you were going to coerce Sophie into bed, I might have just told you the truth!"

"I never coerced her," Jem says.

"No, you never had to. She was already in love with you! She would have done anything for you!" Will exclaims. That is the cruelest part of all.

"What's so wrong with that?" Jem asks. Will shakes his head and covers his eyes with a hand.

"I never thought you would hurt an innocent girl," he says.

"I never thought you would betray your own kind by taking up with a pretty eyed warlock," Jem responds. "As for the hurting of innocent girls, you wrote the book on it. Or did you not kiss Tessa on the roof and coerce Gabriel's sister into bed?"

"I need you to leave now," Will says. "I love you, Jem, but I can't be your lover and fight with you like I'm your lover because I don't want to be your lover right now."

"But I'm in love with you," Jem says. "I'm not your lover, I'm just… yours."

"No. You're just having sex with me," Will states. "If you were truly in love with me, you would have never slept with Sophie, and if I was truly in love with you, I wouldn't have to be with meaningless girls. I know we love each other, but we need to take some time to fall back in love. Give us time."

Jem nods and leaves the room. Will watches him go and he does not follow.

* * *

><p>Will sits in his room until the last possible second, and then walks downstairs to the dining room. Charlotte and Henry are sitting at one end of the table, with Tessa sitting beside Charlotte and Jessamine beside Henry. Jem is on Charlotte's side of the table, with a seat between he and Tessa, and Will takes the seat. Sophie is dishing up food at the buffet.<p>

"Charlotte has an announcement to make," Tessa says, "We were just waiting for you both."

"I thought she was looking a bit plumper about the midsection," Will remarks. Henry blushes and Charlotte shoots Will a murderous gaze.

"We'll be hosting a wedding this coming Wednesday," Charlotte says as Sophie carries plates over to the table.

"Who's?" Will asks.

"Augustine Wayland is going to marry Constance Midwinter," Charlotte says. Jem looks up, recognizing the name. Sophie puts a plate of food in front of him and he gives her a ghost of a smile.

"My, that was quick," Will says with a knowing chuckle. "They started courting the last month we were at Shadowhunter Academy, and we've only been home… eight weeks? She must not be showing yet."

"Will," Jem says, "must you always find pleasure in the struggle of others?" He lifts a muffin from his plate, cuts it in half, and gives half to Will.

"Jem, I wasn't the one who got her pregnant," Will points out.

"It pains me to have to remind you both to please be on your best behavior for this event. This is the Consul's oldest son," Charlotte says.

"I don't need a reminder," Jem says. Charlotte smiles at him.

"If the bride wears white, beyond it being the color of death, it will be a massive faux pas," Will says, "There's no use advertising what's no longer for sale." Charlotte puts her head in her hands and begs the Angel for serenity.

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><p>Charlotte also announced at breakfast that Will and Jem would be going to train in Hyde Park for most of the morning, so after Will finishes eating, he goes upstairs with Jem and gets dressed in record time, then leaves his room. Will is debating between a long sword or a feather staff in the weapons room when he feels something prick at the edge of his conscious, and he looks up to see Magnus leaning against the doorframe.<p>

"I thought you were going to wait for my answer," Will says.

"Yes, well, I couldn't wait to see you," Magnus replies. "Can we talk?"

"Of course," Will says. He sets his weapons down and follows Magnus down the hallway and into the Library. Once inside, Magnus glances around, and then pulls Will between some bookshelves and into a corner. There is a single arm chair sitting in the corner, beside a table with a candelabrum on it. Light comes from a small window made of cobalt glass.

Magnus puts his arms around Will and kisses him as hard as they were kissing last night. Will can't get his hands up Magnus's shirt this time, so he settles for his hands on Magnus's waist, feeling hot skin beneath a rough linen shirt. Magnus runs his hands down Will's upper chest, and his touch alone sends shivers down Will's spine. Will falls against the wall, grabs Magnus by the belt, and pulls him against him. Their bones slam together but Will hardly notices the pain. Magnus licks and nibbles up the side of Will's neck, then traces his tongue along Will's jaw line, gently teasing at the sensitive skin there.

"I had a great time last night," Magnus whispers, and Will nods, his eyes closed, his focus on Magnus's warm breath against his neck.

"That was wonderful," Will mumbles.

"But not wonderful enough to keep you from having sex with Jem," Magnus says. "Don't try to deny it. I can smell him all over you. He's masking your scent." Will frowns at Magnus. "I'm serious. You always smell like… a candle that's just been blown out, mixed with…" Magnus kisses Will on the lips and inhales, "Hot chocolate. Or, specifically, tres leches. That's a drink from Latin America made from three kinds of milk and cocoa."

"You've lost your mind," Will says.

"It's the truth. Kissing you is like eating cake," Magnus says. "But this morning, you're beautiful smell is covered by lavender, and peppermint, and… blood. You use peppermint toothpaste and bathe with lavender soap, but this blood… I've smelled your blood and it's not like this. I didn't expect you to swear fidelity to me; I'm just surprised you were with him… after last night."

"Are you saying you're shocked that I have no shame?" Will asks.

"No. Despite the way I left you, I'm shocked that you went to Jem to satisfy the desire you had for me," Magnus says.

"I didn't… go to him. Jem came to me this morning. As for why, it's complicated and it's not going to happen again," Will offers. "I don't think he wants… what I want." Will avoids Magnus's eyes and focuses on the monogrammed initials on Magnus's collar. "I had a wonderful time with you, Magnus. I had a good enough time to want to know… last night, what did you mean by… rules… and dinner?"

"Before we are intimate again, I wanted to take you to dinner and perhaps get to know you." Magnus says. "I care about you enough to want more than foolish lust for us." Will nods slowly. "And if you wanted to come to dinner, and if you wanted more than foolish lust, then I wanted me to be… your only one."

"What about Camille?" Will whispers. "I thought she was your lover." Will rests his fingers on Magnus's hips, and Magnus leans closer, holding Will in the same manner.

"We spoke last night, after I got home," Magnus replies. "She's not coming back to London. The flat is mine if I want it, and our relationship is over."

"I'm sorry."

"It's for the best. I can't give her what she needs," Magnus says. At Will imploring look, he continues with, "You know, blood… and eternal devotion. Just because we can be together for a thousand years doesn't mean I want to be."

"So where does that leave you?" Will asks.

"Standing in a forgotten corner of a Library looking into your eyes," Magnus says. "I'm a fool for wanting you, but I can't help it. There's something irresistible about you."

Magnus looks down at the floor, blushing, and then back up. In the bright light from the window, his green and gold eyes have tiny black slits for pupils. For how many times Will has looked into Magnus's eyes, he never noticed how the green swirls around the black pupil, giving the impression of infinity.

Will slowly brushes his lips against Magnus's. Magnus's eyes remain open, surprised, and he kisses back just as carefully. Will places feather soft kisses just below Magnus's nose, then drags his front teeth over Magnus's lower lip. He feels Magnus's pulse speed up and feels the warlock's body come alive in his hands.

Magnus kisses Will on the forehead, then cheek, and then runs his lips across Will's, tracing heat across chapped skin. Will buries his nose in Magnus's chest and remembers the coat still hidden beneath his bed. He imagines holding Magnus the way he held the coat last night and in this moment that is all he wants.

"We have to be serious, Will," Magnus mumbles. He brings a hand up to Will's side, caressing the skin at Will's waist, touching him so intimately despite layers of clothes. "I don't know what I want from you. I don't know what you want from me. And you, being the legendary William Herondale, won't tell me either. Am I right?"

"I am a tortured individual who thrives on playing games with people's emotions," Will says. "Also, I'm selfish, and-"

"You're afraid that anyone who swears to love you unconditionally will either die or end up rejecting you," Magnus says. He slides his hands across Will's stomach, and rests them on the waist band of Will's pants.

"I'm also lazy in bed, and an insufferable slob," Will says. Magnus frowns. "I want to go to another play with you."

"I want to kiss you on the front steps of your Institute again," Magnus says. He kisses Will's lips gently once, and then with force. Will crushes his lips against Magnus's and grasps at whatever skin he can get his hands on. Magnus shoves his hands up Will's shirt. His nails rake over Will's skin and Will whimpers, tugging on Magnus's hair.

"I want you," Will whispers.

"But I want more than desire," Magnus says, his lips just inches from Will's ear. "For five hundred years, I was with others for the sake of pleasure alone. Now, want more. I want someone to go to plays with. I want someone to travel the world with. I want someone to sleep in with on Sunday mornings." Magnus takes a deep breath. "Mr. Herondale, if you have any sort of feelings for me you wish to explore, we have to take a certain challenge."

"Which is?" Will asks.

"I challenge you to go without kissing or sex for seven days, and I will do the same. We'll spend the time getting to know one another fully clothed and deciding what we want. Should we make it to the end of seven days, I will take you to dinner, and then bring you back to my home where we will consummate our relationship whatever way you want. As many times as you want." Magnus kisses Will and smiles. "The choice is yours, Mr. Herondale."

Will looks up at Magnus and smiles back. "Challenge accepted."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review. This chapter was very hard to write, and if it was a disaster, let me know. If it wasn't… I do enjoy happy thoughts and opinions. In fact, I welcome all opinions<strong>.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! I own none of these characters! Enjoy! Please review. Please?**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

After leaving the Institute, Will and Jem go to the park, where they find a group of four other Shadowhunters. Gabriel Lightwood is there, dressed in his usual hand me down training clothes, and has been partnered with none other than Augustine Wayland. Will feels it in the pit of his stomach: the burning desire to stir up trouble.

"Leave him be," Jem mumbles, grabbing Will by the sleeve.

"I just want to know why Gabriel made it to 18 without a parabatai. Just… just let me ask him. Please, James. You know you want to know as well," Will pleads. Jem looks at a small beetle crawling across the toe of his boot, one hand still holding Will's shirt tightly.

"Will," Jem says, softly. Will looks back at Jem and sees Jem nibbling on his bottom lip, still looking at the ground. "I'm sorry about Sophie… and Tessa… and every wrong thing I've done to you. I want to start over fresh, and you still speaking to me gives me hope."

"Of course I'll still speak to you. I'm your parabatai," Will mumbles. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"We're getting older now, and we want different things, I'm sure. Just know that I still want you in my life. Things might change between us, and I might spend more time with Sophie or Tessa, but I still want to be with you the way we were before," Jem says. "Can we… maybe go to dinner tonight and put all this nonsense behind us?"

"Jem," Will says softly, "it's behind us. I'm not angry anymore." Jem finally looks up at Will, his silver eyes wide with cautious optimism.

"Thank you," Jem whispers.

An instructor finally appears before them, claps his hands together, and claims that they will be going by Portal two by two to a predetermined location, where they are to recover a lost treasure. The first team that returns to Hyde Park will win.

"By the Angel," Will exclaims, "We're going to find Gabriel's sister's virginity!"

Gabriel curses and throws down the sword he has been holding. He stomps forward, swearing profusely. Jem pulls a sword from the holder across his back and shoves Will into the Portal. As they fall through time and space, Will can still hear Jem screaming, "You just can't leave well enough alone, can you!"

The Portal drops them unceremoniously into a sewer. Will smells Magnus, turns his head, and sees a warlock standing to their left. Will is about to greet him when the warlock's hands lift, and then there is a great roar that echoes down the sewer pipe.

"Hold the witch light!" Jem cries, and he cuts the head off of a demon leaping towards them. "It's a gauntlet challenge! Just like that one time at Shadowhunter Academy!" Will moans and tries to remember other good times at Shadowhunter Academy.

"I'm sick of challenges," Will laments, but when Jem takes off down the pipe, seraph blade glowing as he lays waste to several minor demons, Will follows.

They take turns killing the demons that come at them as they laugh and focus only on the hunt. Will kills the last demon, looks up, and sees a table with a dark cloth bag sitting in a stone room. He and Jem step forward to get it, but then something slams into Will. Will feels air leave his lungs, and then he crashes onto a brick floor just barely covered with water.

Dressed in solid black and holding a glowing seraph blade, Gabriel stands over Will as Augustine lingers beside him, looking nervous.

"Beat you," Gabriel says, and he steps between Will's legs.

"If you beat us, why didn't you grab the treasure and leave?" Jem asks.

"Because I heard you coming," Gabriel says. "I figured I would wait and…" Gabriel takes his blade and runs it down the front of Will's chest. There's a bit of pale skin exposed on Will's lower stomach, and Gabriel presses the blade there. The tip bites into Will's skin and Will flinches. In a second, Jem has a dagger drawn and held against Gabriel's throat.

"It's sharp," Jem whispers, "and if you don't let him go, I'll send you back to your family in pieces."

"You would never hurt me," Gabriel says.

"I have nothing to lose," Jem says, "whether they burn my runes off with acid or let me die in the Silent City, either way, I'm going to burn. I might disgrace my family name but the only family I'm worried about is already gone." Gabriel spits in Will's face but pulls his blade away. Will climbs to his feet, spits in Gabriel's face, and then clears his throat and brushes himself off.

"Much obliged, James," Will says. "Now. What sick bit of black magic is this? We can't all win!"

"There must be some sort of lesson in this," Jem says. "Maybe we're supposed to learn that the challenge isn't so much the prize collected at the end, but the lessons we learned along the way."

"Maybe we're supposed to learn the best way of gutting another Shadowhunter," Gabriel suggests.

"Now, Gabe, what would your father say if you killed me?" Will asks.

"Good job," Gabriel replies. "People like you aren't meant to live."

"And yet I'm still here, because you're afraid of Jem," Will says with a chuckle. Jem has a hand on his chin as he ponders their situation. His other hand still holds his dagger.

"I've got it. Parabatai means a matched team of warriors. When one is battling, the other watches their back," Jem says to himself. "We can't all have the treasure, and yet, we can both win the challenge. This was an exercise in team work, of course." Jem swipes the bag from the table, shoves it against Will's chest, draws a Portal, grabs Will's hand, and pulls him through.

* * *

><p>They land flat on their backs, laughing hysterically, in the middle of Hyde Park.<p>

"He wanted to gut me!" Will cries. Jem just sits up, shaking his head, and looks down at Will. They're both breathing hard and smiling. Will feels wet and disgusting, but the ground beneath his back is warm and dry.

"You've got ichor…" Jem mumbles. He reaches up and brushes a thumb across Will's face, still looking into Will's eyes. Jem leans over, closes his eyes, and Will pushes him away.

"No. I don't want to risk anyone seeing," Will says quickly. He sits up and tosses the bag to Jem. "Tell me what the lost treasure is."

"You," Jem mumbles. Will shakes his head. Jem opens the bag and pours a bunch of marbles into his hand. They spill onto the ground, not one of them the same as another. Will spies one made of green and gold glass and fashioned to look like a cat's eye. He picks it up, slips it into his pocket, and then helps Jem collect them.

"Oh, I get it, lost marbles. I almost got gutted over a bag of lost marbles," Will says. "I'm sure Charlotte and Henry would have found that to be side splitting."

"It's not about the treasure, Will," Jem says as Will pulls him to his feet. "It's about the lesson you should have learned."

"You'll always save me from Gabriel, I know," Will says. "Thank you, by the way." Jem rolls his eyes.

"Mark my words, Will. One day Gabriel is going to come for you, and I won't be there to save you," Jem says.

"That's a pity," Will laughs, "although, I hope he gives me a warning!"

"His threats are real," Jem states. "He wants his revenge and he won't stop…."

"You have nothing to worry about," Will says, "Come on, let's go win."

They walk over to the instructor, show him the bag, and receive their prize: the entire bag of marbles.

* * *

><p>After a few more training exercises, Will and Jem return to the Institute just as Magnus is leaving for the day. Jem looks Magnus up and down, then tells Will that he'll be upstairs and leaves Will and Magnus alone together. As soon as Jem reaches the top of the steps, Will grabs Magnus by the lapels on his jacket and pulls him into a closet, slamming the door behind them. Will tosses Magnus against a wall, and Magnus puts one hand around Will's waist to pull their bodies together and another across Will's mouth.<p>

"Think very carefully, Shadowhunter," Magnus whispers, "is one quickie in a closet really worth forfeiting the challenge?" Will licks Magnus's palm and Magnus pulls his hand away.

"One quickie in a closet is worth it if I get to come over tonight and take my time in your bed," Will replies. "And I've never had a quickie I regretted."

Magnus moans, and his knees shake as he grips Will by the waist.

"You're making this very hard for me," Magnus says. Will smiles and bumps his nose against Magnus's nose. Magnus closes his eyes and holds Will just the slightest bit tighter. "No."

"I beg your pardon?" Will mumbles.

"There is nothing you can say, or do, to make me change my mind. I don't propose challenges I don't plan on winning," Magnus says. "Additionally, if I really did feel like giving up on the challenge, the last place I would give it up would be a coat closet."

"Tell that to your…" Will begins, and Magnus pushes him away.

"It's like a hundred degrees in here!" Magnus exclaims. "It smells like leather and weapons and you! I can't help it!"

"If it's too hot in here, maybe you should just take me home and teach me how to love again. I'm a good student," Will says.

"I don't trust myself alone with you," Magnus says. "The things I can see myself doing to you…"

"Such as?" Will mumbles. He stumbles back to Magnus, who runs his hands down Will's chest and leans close enough to for Will to smell peppermint on his breath. Magnus sighs heavily. His exhale feels warm against Will's lips.

"The way I picture it, in six and a half days, you'll come over and I'll make dinner," Magnus says. "I'm stuck between roasted duck with some sort of potato, or some sort of fish with a nice salad. Then there is a question of the wine. Red, or white? I should serve white but I prefer red and…."

"Mags," Will groans.

"Oh, right. Dinner. You'll come over and we'll make love on the couch. Then we'll eat dinner, sharing the same wine glass, of course, unless you object, and then we'll make love on the kitchen table. Then, we'll go down to my room, where I'll throw you on the bed, rip off whatever clothes you've ended up in, and start by kissing that place right behind your ear... here." Magnus takes a finger and gently touches Will behind the ear. His finger feels soft, just like a kiss. "Then, I'll kiss your cheek, spend ample time on your lips…" Magnus runs his finger across Will's lower lip and Will attempts to take the finger in his mouth, but Magnus pulls it away.

"I'll continue down your neck, across your collar bones…" Magnus lifts his left hand as well and traces his fingers over Will's collar bones. His hands emit a muted blue glow and enable Will to see him better. Magnus looks up into Will's eyes and swallows nervously, and then looks back down at his hands. "I'll kiss all the way down your chest, taking care to pay attention to your lovely nipples…" Magnus rubs his hands across Will's chest. "Then I'll kiss all the way down your stomach, tease the darling bit of hair you have on your lower stomach…" Magnus reaches beneath Will's shirt and runs his fingers through the downy soft hair. The tips of his fingers tease at the button on Will's pants, and then at the zipper Will is suddenly straining against.

Will closes his eyes and presses his hips forward. Magnus rubs his palm against the front of Will's pants and places his right hand against the back of Will's neck, touching the place where his hair line begins, causing Will to shiver. "Then I'll take you in my mouth, tease you gently to begin with, and then suck it until you come hard enough to scream. Do you know what the best part is?" Magnus takes his hand off of Will's pants and rubs it though Will's hair, turning Will's head so that their lips are just centimeters apart. "That's just the beginning of what I want to do to you."

Will shudders and falls against Magnus.

"Take me," he mumbles, "please!"

"Now, now. Doesn't my idea sound better than an almost completely dressed fuck in a smelly closet?" Magnus asks.

"You said it smelled like leather, weapons, and me!" Will protests.

"Yes, well, you smell like sewage and sweat," Magnus says. Will pushes Magnus away and swears a few times. "I told you, there is nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind."

"Oh, but you'll tease me 'til it hurts," Will says. "You and your witchcraft!" Magnus snaps his fingers and touches Will's lips again.

"Magic," Magnus says. "Not witchcraft. Let my teasing be a preview for what is to… come." Magnus giggles at his joke and Will scowls. "I refuse to lose this challenge on day one."

"Then think about me later," Will says. He pulls the marble from his pocket, rolls it around his hand, and licks his lips. "I'll be thinking about you."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Magnus says. He smiles and walks out of the closet, stopping short and causing Will to slam into him.

A bewildered Henry is just descending the steps with a man who is very tall and has blond hair. The man is dressed in a fine black suit and carries himself with a great amount of confidence.

"Consul Wayland," Magnus says quickly, and bows his head.

"He was cold," Will says, and shoves Magnus out the door.

* * *

><p>Will goes upstairs, pours his usual gin, and passes out in the bathtub, as usual. He wakes up naked and freezing to the sound of Jem playing the violin in the next room over. Will thinks about walking into Jem's room and making sweet, gentle love to him before dinner. They've done it before, perfectly quiet, and then sat at the table right afterwards. In those times, Will could still smell himself on Jem, and every time Jem's arm brushed against Will's arm, it took everything in Will not to become aroused.<p>

Now, Will's hand slips beneath the water. He touches himself gently, and his fingers begin to stroke as he pictures Jem sitting on the bathroom sink, his knees spread wide as he looks down and watches their bodies press together. Will pictures Jem face down on his bed sheets, his fingers gripping a pillow, his whimpers absorbed by the mattress. He sees Magnus reclined on a couch, the mark on his side visible as he runs a hand through his hair and looks over at Will, waiting for Will to be ready again. Now, Will swears he feels Magnus running his fingers down the side of his neck, his touch feeling like a warm breeze against sensitive skin.

Will takes his fingers and licks each of them, just enough to moisten them, and then touches the skin behind his ear. He rubs in circles all of the way down the side of his neck to his collarbones and pictures Magnus kissing him as the music continues in the next room over. Will sighs and tightens the grip on his shaft. He spreads his knees apart and strokes harder as he rubs his hand across his chest. The sweet violin music comes to a screeching halt.

"You startled me!" Jem exclaims, his voice full of laughter. "My goodness, Tessa!"

Will screams and throws a torrent of water against the wall, but it is of no use. The bathtub water is cold and it rouses Will from his fantasy. He closes his eyes, and tries to think about Jem, tries to finish, but all he can think about is rolling across Magnus's bed, laughing and holding a fiery warm body against his. Will opens his eyes and gives up on pleasuring himself despite Jem beginning to play his violin again.

The cat's eye marble sits on the bathroom sink where Will left it, the green and gold swirled together just like the colors in Magnus's eyes. Will climbs from the bathtub, takes the marble in his hand, and thinks about those three long days he spent with Magnus, and how nothing else mattered, as long as Magnus was within reach. There might have been love there- Will isn't sure what was there, or why it felt so good, but what Will remembers the most about those three days was that Magnus was there. If what Magnus was giving was love, Will wants more of it.

Jem continues to play the violin, but Will remains in his room.

* * *

><p>Dinner that night is Shepherd's pie and several types of steamed vegetables. It is a quiet affair Henry is late for. Jem sits beside Will and is constantly getting in his way. Will doesn't mind, it's just that Jem is left handed and Will is right handed, and sometimes they forget. Henry finally comes upstairs and takes his seat at the head of the table. He doesn't make eye contact with Will, not that he ever did before seeing Will stumble from a closet with a warlock.<p>

"So who is invited to the wedding?" Jem asks.

"Yes. I don't recall getting an invitation. The bride and groom seem to have little use for tradition," Will says. "Consul Wayland must love that." Charlotte scowls at Will.

"The Wayland family is very large, and will all be coming to London for the wedding. The entire London Enclave is invited," Charlotte says, "Despite the short notice, we should expect about 200 people."

"If I ever got a girl pregnant, I would just marry her in the garden," Will mumbles.

Sophie walks over with a pitcher of milk and refills Will's glass.

"Sophie, dear, sit down," Jem whispers.

"Your bustling about isn't good for you or the baby," Will says. Sophie sets the milk pitcher down, slaps Will upside the head, and sits beside Jem.

"Charlotte, I was wondering if I could perhaps bring someone to the wedding with me… a date of sorts," Jem says. He reaches over and takes Sophie's hand. "I was wondering if it could be Sophie."

Charlotte, Henry, and best of all, Tessa, stare. Will has been holding his fork but he sets it down and folds his hands. Tessa begins to say something, then stops, and starts again.

"I had no idea…" Tessa manages.

"No idea of what?" Will asks.

"No idea Jem and Sophie…" Tessa says.

Will giggles. "Jem and Sophie what?" Jem slams his heel down on Will's toes. Will gasps and moans erotically.

"That's perfectly wonderful," Charlotte manages as she glares at Will. "Of course you may accompany Sophie to the wedding. I will make certain that she has a place at our table."

"Thank you," Jem says.

"So is Tessa coming to the wedding?" Will asks. "Or is it strictly a Shadowhunter affair?"

"Tessa is invited to the wedding, yes. She is one of us," Charlotte says.

"Oh, since when?" Will asks, taking a sip of his milk. Charlotte frowns. Tessa pushes her plate away and places her silverware on it. Sophie stands up, but Jem grabs her hand and pulls her back down beside him. Tessa looks at Jem, then Sophie, and then at Will.

"She is one of us since she began living here," Charlotte says.

"Lucky her," Will says. "Charlotte, may I bring a date to the wedding?"

"Yes, of course," Charlotte says. "Do you want to escort Tessa or Jessamine?" Jessamine looks at Will and pales considerably. Tessa subtly shakes her head and looks at the other end of the table.

"No thank you," Will says. He smiles shyly. "I want to bring Magnus Bane."

Henry chokes on his milk. It comes out of his nose and spills from his mouth. He sets the glass down, stands up, and walks into the kitchen amid a coughing fit.

"Don't be foolish, Will," Jem snaps. "Magnus is a…"

"Warlock?" Will asks.

"I was going to say man. You can't bring a man to a wedding as a date," Jem states.

"I accompanied you to Charlotte and Henry's wedding," Will says.

"We were twelve!" Jem exclaims. "But now…"

"William, are you a homosexual?" Charlotte asks. Her cheeks are bright red, and she has a hand on her chest.

"No. I'm a Shadowhunter," Will replies. "You should know that. I've only worn the runes for the past five years." Charlotte throws her hands in the air. "Magnus is my friend. Just because he's a warlock, it doesn't mean you have to treat him any differently. Tessa is a warlock and she gets to come to the wedding. Why can't Magnus?"

"Magnus has no place at a Shadowhunter wedding," Charlotte says.

"But Tessa does?" Will asks.

"Tessa is our guest," Charlotte replies.

"Well, Magnus is my guest. Besides, you said that Magnus is a guest in our home, and we should make sure he feels welcome," Will says. "I thought that the Accords were about bringing peace between the Downworlders and Nephilim. And unless I'm mistaken, wasn't Consul Wayland in favor of the Accords? If there are Downworlders at his son's wedding, it would look good for Consul Wayland, politically."

"Tessa won't be seen as a warlock, like Magnus will be," Charlotte says.

"Oh, were you going to have Tessa Change into a Shadowhunter for the evening? We all know she's good at that," Will states. "She could be the evening's entertainment."

"I won't go to the wedding," Tessa says, the same time Charlotte says "bring Magnus."

"I expect you to behave," Charlotte states.

"Now Charlotte, have I ever disappointed you?" Will asks. Charlotte presses her fingers to her temples and just stares at her plate. "Thank you." He turns to Sophie. "Dinner was wonderful as always, darling. You really do know how to make a man a man happy." Jem clears his throat and fiddles with his silverware, his jaw clenched and his shoulders tense. "Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a desire to get very drunk and then wander about the cemetery until dawn." Will stands up, gets his coat from the back of his chair, puts it on, and walks out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Just so you all know, you're all awesome for reading this and I am thrilled to have people enjoying my story. So Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Will does as he says he is going to: he gets drunk at the Devil, then goes and wanders the cemetery, speaking loudly to himself, loud enough to wake the dead, and then he goes to a townhouse close to the Thames and bangs on the door until the house's occupant howls in protest and finally opens the door.

"Thinking about me yet?" Will asks. He leers at Magnus, who frowns. Magnus is holding a letter in one hand and a glass on brandy in the other. He's dressed in baggy pants and an oversized coat. His eyes dart back and forth as he reads the letter.

"I was afraid you might show up," Magnus mumbles. "I knew I should have moved."

"Where's Archer?" Will asks.

"Camille took him. He was her subjugate, and of little use to me," Magnus says. "Come in." He turns around and walks down the hall. Will closes the door and follows him back to the parlor. Magnus finishes the letter, folds it, and places it in a desk as Will takes his coat off and tosses it onto a chair. Magnus finally looks up at him and gives him an unsteady smile. It is such a change from Magnus's usual confident demeanor, Will immediately takes notice.

"What's the matter?" Will asks.

"Nothing," Magnus replies. "Nothing at all. I'm just tired." Will has seen Jem lie enough about things that are the matter with him, and he knows not to pry. The truth will come out eventually.

"You could kiss me. It might brighten your mood," Will suggests. Magnus walks over and places his hands on Will's waist. He leans close to Will and Will turns his head. He closes his eyes, fully prepared to receive the kiss.

"No," Magnus whispers, his breath hot on Will's cheek. Will moans and throws himself onto the couch, kicking his feet like a child having a tantrum. "Glad to see you've made yourself at home." Magnus sits on the couch and Will lays his head in Magnus's lap.

"So was the letter from Camille?" Will asks.

"It's none of your business who the letter was from." Magnus replies. He runs his fingers through Will's hair, and his nails scrape at Will's scalp. Will closes his eyes and relaxes.

"So you don't want to talk about him?" Will asks. Magnus tugs on Will's hair and stares at the coffee table in front of them. The room is quiet but also feels dark and foreboding. Like every room of the first floor of the house with the exception of Magnus's room, the parlor lacks life. "Let's go to your bedroom."

"No," Magnus says. "I don't want to be tempted." Magnus twirls a bit of silky hair in his fingers and looks down at Will, a nervous frown on his face.

"You're concerning me," Will says, "but don't get used to my concern. I really don't care about your feelings."

"Of course not. That would go against your very nature," Magnus says. "The letter was from a warlock by the name of Ragnor Fell. I met him when I was very young and new at being a warlock. He saw me struggling and took me under his wing as a… tutor… of sorts. Just as I am with Tessa. He heard about my split with Camille and wanted to see how I was."

"So why didn't you want to tell me that your former lover wanted to see how you were?" Will asks.

"How do you know he was my lover?" Magnus asks.

"Well, he wasn't just your tutor. He was your tutor of sorts, so he must have tutored you in all sorts of things," Will says. "Perhaps you and he shared something beyond the study of sorcery."

"Sorcery," Magnus mumbles. "Do you know what was between us?"

"No. I could care less," Will says dismissively.

"He was my… first time… ever," Magnus says. "But don't worry. There are no feelings left between us. Ragnor and I were together a very, very long time ago. He is deeply in my past."

"You act like I care about what you feel for someone," Will says, "I don't."

"You lie," Magnus says. "You care. That's why you've still got your head in my lap and you've yet to change the subject. You care. You just have a backwards way of showing it."

"Don't flatter yourself. I don't care," Will says. "I'm only here because I was drunk and hoping you might want to have more meaningless sex with me. Now that I find that you want to talk about your past sexual partners…." Will starts to sit up but Magnus holds him down with a hand across his chest.

"We ended things amicably back in 1609. I wanted to travel, he wanted stability… It was for the best. He was just checking in. Seeing how I was doing this century." Will nods and Magnus continues raking his nails across Will's scalp. "You're allowed to care, Will. You can care about who I was with, who I want to be with…"

"But I don't care," Will insists. "I've spent the past two years going back and forth between Jem and so many girls, I lost count. I don't care who you might have loved five hundred years ago. I don't care who you loved five hours ago."

"You," Magnus says, "I was with you five hours ago."

"I should be going home," Will mumbles.

"Stop running," Magnus says.

"I'm not running," Will says, "I just really want to go home." He tries to sit up but Magnus again holds him down, and Will doesn't bother to struggle. He turns on his side, facing Magnus, slips a hand up Magnus's shirt, and sighs. "I'm just going to lay here until my head stops spinning."

"Take your time. I would hate for you to vomit all over my floor the way you vomited all over my bed," Magnus says.

"Oh, well, in that case, I'll just jump up and down and spin in circles," Will says.

"But I have my doubts about you even being drunk." Will pinches Magnus on the side and squeezes his eyes shut.

"You know, Will, love and happiness can only be found by people who want to find love and happiness," Magnus says.

"Love is foolish," Will says. "It's the easiest weapon to use against someone. As for my happiness, Mr. Bane, you barely know me, so don't you dare judge my mental state. I'm perfectly happy."

"Just as long as you believe that." Magnus gently rubs Will's forehead and then goes back to running his fingers through his hair.

"Do you have some sort of fetish with my hair?" Will asks. "You've made me hard." Magnus looks down at Will's pants and sighs audibly.

"Honestly, Herondale," he says. "You're the most easily aroused man I've ever met."

"I'm sorry. Jem has me trained quite well," Will mumbles. "Pretty much any touch lighter then a slap evokes some sort of reaction to my body."

"I can tell Jem is special to you," Magnus says. "You love him, right?"

"It's none of your business," Will replies. Magnus is silent, still running his fingers through Will's dark locks of hair. "It wasn't love, but it turned into something a lot like that. If he didn't love me and I didn't love him… perhaps the thought of losing him wouldn't be so unbearable. Our relationship has been based so heavily on being together because one day we won't be."

"I understand perfectly," Magnus says.

"I have my doubts," Will mumbles. "I had to get out of the Institute. Sometimes that place feels so stifling, and Jem… I just can't handle him right now. He had sex with Sophie and now he is taking her to the wedding as his date. He's leading her on. I can't stand to watch when he does things like that. He's not normal. He shouldn't be trying to have a normal life."

"Doesn't he deserve a normal life?" Magnus asks.

"The question isn't whether or not he has a normal life. It's a matter of what he does with that normal life," Will says. "Leaving behind me is a far cry from leaving behind a wife and a baby. His death is going to be awful enough. He should be making sure that when he dies, he leaves behind minimal heartbreak."

"But he's the one who is dying," Magnus says. "You can't expect him to make it easy on everyone. He has other things to concentrate on."

"I don't know expect you to understand what this is like," Will says, sitting up. "It's not like you've ever been with someone who is going to die. After all, your first love is still alive."

"So is yours." Magnus lays his hand on Will's shoulder. "You can't tell him what to do with the time he has left."

"Can I change the subject now?" Will asks. Magnus shrugs. "What are you doing Monday night… around six?"

"Monday at six is when I gather my league of gentleman warlocks together to discuss our plans for eventual world domination," Magnus says.

"But that violates the Accords," Will protests. Magnus frowns at him.

"At some point, you're going to need to learn about something called sarcasm," he says. "Monday is a pretty slow night for me. Lately, I've been coming home, dressing in the lovely outfit I'm wearing now, and sitting in this very room until I fall asleep on this very couch. Last night I read a few pages in a book. I'm incredibly busy, you see."

"I don't think that reading and sitting around makes you busy, but I'm not here to judge," Will says. Magnus closes his eyes and mumbles something to himself. "I have plans for us on Monday night."

"If they involve me naked in any manner, I'll take my books instead, thank you," Magnus says.

"The London Institute is hosting a wedding on Monday afternoon, and you're going to accompany me to the reception," Will says.

"I beg your pardon?"

"The Consul's oldest son Auggie got this poorly bred girl pregnant, and now they are getting married on Monday," Will says. "As Jem would say, you're going to be my… date of sorts. That's his way of saying that you're a date that doesn't necessarily have to be taken seriously. We had sex and now I want to attempt to make it seem like it was more than sex between us… which is what you did have in mind when you proposed this silly little challenge. Right?"

"Okay, scrap the drunken rebound sex. This is the worst idea you have ever come up with," Magnus insists.

"No, it's a perfect idea," Will says. "There will be food there. Food and cake. And me. I'll be there to. You don't have to dance or anything, it's just to prove a point."

"Which is what? Warlocks are people to?" Magnus asks.

"No. If Tessa is allowed to go to the wedding, I should be allowed to bring whoever I want, and if it's a warlock, so be it," Will says. Magnus closes his eyes and moans. "Mags, you know I hate to be wrong. Just come with me. I'll give you any sexual favor you want."

"I'll just have to wait five more days to collect on it," Magnus says. "I don't know, Will. My showing up at a Shadowhunter event is bound to infuriate some people."

"I infuriate people every day," Will says. "You shouldn't let your concern with upsetting people get in the way of you enjoying your life."

"You infuriate your own kind, all the time," Magnus says. "Leave me out of it."

"What are you afraid of?" Will asks. "It's not like anyone will know we're together. You're just someone to talk to. If you want, you can go with Tessa. I just want you there, Magnus."

"So you can rub it in Jem's face that you've moved on?" Will stops short of replying. "That's what I thought. I'll think about it but I'm not promising anything."

Will agrees to that, and they each lapse into silence. Will spends the time following the crown molding around the room with his eyes and marveling at the fact that he was there for three days and only saw the inside of Magnus's bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and parlor.

"So what was it like, living with Camille?" Will finally asks.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," Magnus dryly replies. "We were introduced about fifty years ago by a mutual friend. We started off casually and bought this house about ten years ago. We had little in common but somehow muddled through life together."

"Did you love her?" Will asks.

"Love isn't the right word for it," Magnus says. "I admired her, yes. I was infatuated with her, most definitely. Camille was very beautiful, and I do like beautiful things. But… I didn't love her for myself. I was with her because I thought she needed me… as if a vampire needs anything but blood. She somehow convinced me that she couldn't survive without me. She was very cold… not just temperature wise. You remind me of her."

"Am I to be flattered?" Will asks.

"Camille played a constant game. She was the master, and I was the cat trying to get the string she dangled before me," Magnus says. "Sometimes I got the string and sometimes she snatched it away to fast. Sometimes, others got the string. She wasn't faithful… I wasn't either… but whenever she entertained people upstairs and left me out of it… it always hurt. But the next day she would make it up to me, like I didn't have to lay in my bed and hear here talking and laughing with someone upstairs in her bedroom."

"You didn't share a bedroom?" Will asks.

"Only when she wanted to. She left me to my own devices most of the time. I was her pet, just like her soulless subjugates. There when she needed me and wallpaper when she didn't," Magnus says.

"You could never be wallpaper to me. You're to colorful, for one. And the way you dress… you could never blend in," Will says.

"Are you insulting me?"

"Just your sense of fashion."

Magnus frown and musses Will's hair.

"Camille was very manipulative," Magnus continues, "It was always love on her terms. She only gave me what she wanted to and withheld the rest. Take this house, for example. We bought it together, but the upstairs belonged to her, and the downstairs to me. When we had… relations… I was permitted in her room, but she kept the door locked the rest of the time, and she asked that I stay downstairs as much as possible."

"So what does a vampire's lair look like?" Will asks. "Are there whips and chains and blessed metal shackles bolted to bloodstained walls?"

"You forgot about the beds of nails and broken glass," Magnus replies. "It's really nothing special. There's a bed she never used, plenty of furniture and candles…"

"We should have a look anyway." Will climbs off the couch and starts for the door.

"Camille didn't like me upstairs unless I was with her," Magnus says. Will stops and turns around slowly.

"Didn't you say she's gone and never coming back?" Will asks. Magnus nods. "Then what are you waiting for?"

Will pulls open the door and runs into the hallway Magnus curses, yelling for Will, but Will reaches the end of the hallway and tears up a flight of stairs with Magnus hot on his heels. Magnus reaches out and tries to grab the back of Will's shirt, but Will is just the slightest bit faster and evades him.

"This is extremely impolite of you!" Magnus yells. "Running through my home…"

Will gets to a door and throws it open. He steps inside. "By the Angel!" Magnus slams into Will's back and tries to look into the room. "Have you ever seen a bed this large?" Will runs into the room and leaps onto a bed that is at least twice the size of the one he has at the Institute.

"Get off the bed!" Magnus exclaims. He looks up at Will, a distraught look upon his face. Magnus puts his hands out and tries to grab at Will, but Will steps backwards, his boots smearing mud across the covers.

"Or what? You'll subdue me with your hocus-pocus?" Will asks. His face breaks into a grin and he begins to jump up and down on the bed. Each bounce sends him closer to the ceiling and he starts to laugh. It begins in his stomach, just a low chuckle, but after a few breathes, it's evolved into a hysterical, high pitched laugh.

"Just get off the bed, Will. I don't want to risk you falling off and getting hurt," Magnus says.

"So what if I got hurt? You could heal me," Will says. "You'll save me, Magnus Bane!"

"It's not that simple. There are limits to my powers when they're directed towards you," Magnus says.

"Jump with me!" Will cries. He claps his hands and continues his bouncing. Magnus folds his arms across his chest. "What's wrong, Mags? Are you too old to jump on a bed? Do you just want to go back downstairs and sit in the parlor and wait for Camille to come back? Do you want to spend another fifty years playing cat and mouse?"

"I'm just not in the mood to jump on the bed," Magnus says. "I wish you would get down."

"I'll get down if you come up first," Will says. He holds his hands out and smiles to Magnus. "Please?"

Magnus curses beneath his breath and climbs onto the bed. He grabs Will's sweaty hands and begins to jump up and down with him. He tries not to smile but soon, he's laughing with Will as they try to see who can jump higher. Finally, a bed spring snaps and Will plummets onto the mattress, pulling Magnus down with him. Magnus's elbow hits Will in the nose and there's suddenly blood among the laughter.

"I told you so!" Magnus exclaims. He touches Will's nose and delivers a spell that stops the bleeding. Will lays down on his side, trying to catch his breath, and Magnus lays beside him. Will moves closer to Magnus, resting his chin on Magnus's shoulder, his swollen nose close to the warlock's neck.

"Jem and I were jumping on the bed this one time when we were twelve and Jem fell off. He bumped his head pretty hard and got knocked unconscious…and I haven't jumped on a bed since," Will mumbles. "I haven't had that sort of fun since I was twelve."

"I understand the need for it now," Magnus says. He reaches over and tucks a bit of Will's hair behind his ear. "You're going to need your stele."

"It's downstairs in my coat pocket," Will says. Magnus begins to climb off the bed but Will grabs him and pulls him back. "It's just a bloody nose. I get one twice a week. Lay with me. Don't leave me." Magnus sighs and lays beside Will. "You said there were limits to your powers when they are directed at me. What did you mean?"

"It just has something to do with what we are. If you were anything besides a Shadowhunter, my spells would work on you. If you were injured by a demon, I could heal you. But as far as injuries not demonic in origin, I can only keep you alive. I can't heal you," Magnus explains. "Take your nose, for example. I got the bleeding to stop but it's still broken and you're still getting two black eyes as we speak."

"I'll be fine," Will says. "I'm just glad you got the bleeding to stop. It proves your kind is good for something."

Magnus shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair as he looks at Will. He rolls over, and folds his knees up so that they rest against Will's knees.

"You know this isn't a good idea," Magnus says.

"What? You and I, a Shadowhunter and a warlock, lying on a vampire's broken bed?" Will asks. "Oh, by the Angel… what if she comes back? Where will she sleep?" Will giggles hard enough to make his nose bleed again. Magnus performs another spell.

"You and I, together, in this way, is not a good idea," Magnus says. "Maybe we should call the whole thing off. Or make it just sex between us. We'll never have anything tangible…"

"I don't want it to just be sex. I want it to be jumping on the bed until it breaks," Will says. "I want it to be this. You can't offer me everything you've offered and then take it off the table because you're afraid that some people might not want to see me spending time with you."

"It's not that," Magnus says. He rolls onto his back and looks up at the ceiling. Will reaches over and rubs Magnus's hand with his palm, and Magnus flips his hand over so that they are palm to palm.

"Then what is it?" Will asks.

"It's complicated," Magnus replies. "We'll talk more tomorrow. The usual place, at the usual time."

"I'll be there," Will says.

It's past midnight when Magnus finally shows Will to the door. They promise to see each other in the morning, in the library, and each avoid a good night kiss. Then Will returns to the Institute, walks inside, goes up to his room, and climbs into bed. He's just about to fall asleep when his door opens, and Jem sneaks in. Jem climbs into Will's bed, puts his arm around Will, and lays his hand on Will's chest.

"I couldn't sleep," Jem whispers. He kisses Will between the shoulder blades and falls asleep. Will stares at the wall and pretends he's in Magnus's arms.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Here is a teaser:<strong>

"Ragnor didn't write only to see how I was," Magnus says.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Will wakes up early the next morning to his back sweating and Jem's body curled around him. Jem has his left hand lying on Will's lower stomach, gently stroking the skin there as his warm exhales hit Will between the shoulder blades. Will closes his eyes and thinks back to the hundreds of mornings he has woken up with Jem in this manner. Sometimes, Will had crawled into Jem's bed, and sometimes, Jem had crawled into Will's bed. Some times Jem was scared and seeking comfort, and other times, they had each been seeking one another for more carnal pursuits, but it always ended this way early the next morning, with skin on skin and moisture mixing between their bodies. They had shared a life together from the age of twelve on, and Will was certain of his feelings towards Jem, while he only knew that being with Magnus felt right.

The Institute is still quiet and the light coming through the windows is grey in color. There is a quiet breeze coming in through the window that feels cool on the parts of Will's body not nestled under the covers against Jem's body. Sophie is probably downstairs doing laundry, and if Tessa heard anything, she wouldn't say anything. Right now, in this moment, Will could roll over, take Jem in his arms, and kiss him awake. They could make sweet, quiet love while remaining partially in the world of their dreams. Will has done it before, and there is no stopping him from doing it now.

Only, Will can remember jumping up on the bed with Magnus. He remembers lying beside him, breathless, and looking into those green and gold eyes and wanting to kiss Magnus. He wanted to press his chest against Magnus's and smell his warm, vanilla scented skin. He wanted Magnus's arms around his waist, pulling him close and holding him tightly. He wanted Magnus, and not just sexually. Will wanted everything else Magnus could offer him.

Will remembers leaving last night, holding Magnus's hands until he could hold on no longer, and then seeing as Magnus stood at the door and watched Will take the long walk down the front sidewalk to the street. When Will got to the street, he looked back to see Magnus still standing in the doorway. It took everything in Will not to run back, pull Magnus down to his bedroom, and just spend the night with him.

Instead, Will returned home, came upstairs, and welcomed Jem into his bed. Now, Jem sighs against Will's back and lets his fingers drift down, beneath the waist band of Will's pajama pants. He stretches his legs and presses his morning erection against Will's backside, and Will sits up in bed. He forces himself to put his feet onto the floor, to stand up, and to walk in the bathroom, where he starts the water for a bath and brushes his teeth. When Will turns back around, Jem is standing in the bathroom, still blinking away the sleep from his eyes.

"Morning," Jem says. Will nods and undresses. He climbs into the tepid water that rapidly cools his warm skin. Jem pulls his pants down and slinks into the tub, silver and pale like a ghostly apparition. He leans back against the other side and looks over at Will. "Is something the matter?" Will shakes his head, turns off the water, and grabs a chunk of soap and a wash cloth. "You seem quiet." Will shrugs and begins washing. When finished, he passes the wash cloth and soap to Jem, and then spins some lather in the water with his fingers. "Is something going on between you and Magnus?" Will looks up.

"No," Will says, although, he feels like the apostle Simon Peter, denying the truth to save only himself.

"Then why won't you let me touch you? Why won't you let me kiss you? Why are you pushing me away?" Jem asks. "I thought you loved me. I thought we were… one… Will."

"We still are," Will says, looking back down at the cloudy water in the bathtub. The room smells like lavender soap and is lit only by a bit of daylight coming through a small window. "I love you, Jem. You know that."

"Then why did you go to Magnus's house last night?" Jem asks. Will looks at his hands beneath the water and remains silent.

For as long as Will has been leaving the Institute, Jem has been following. It isn't something Jem does all the time, but every once in a while, Will would turn around on a dark lonely street down near the docks and see a head of silver hair leap into a doorway. Sometimes, it was annoying, and Will would do his best to lose Jem along the way, and sometimes, it was a comfort to know that Jem was behind him, watching his back even when Will hadn't wanted him to.

"I thought last night would be the same as before," Jem continues. "I waited outside the Devil for you, I followed you to the cemetery and listened to you rave about Cecily… and I followed you to Magnus's residence. I know he's healthy and he's never going to die… but I just want to know why you would choose him over me."

"I haven't," Will says.

"Not yet," Jem says, "but you will. I always knew that this was going to happen. One of us would have to give up on the other."

"I'm not giving up on you," Will says. "Do you think I want to be in love with you? Do you think I want to be…?"

"In love, Will. Just say you're in love with him. It's obvious," Jem says.

"I don't know what I am," Will says. "I just wanted to be with you."

"Then be with me," Jem says. "Please."

Will sits back in the bathtub and looks at Jem, who has his knees pulled to his chest. Wet bits of his hair stick to his face. His eyes are wide and unusually light in color. The pupils in the middle of each eye are tiny pinpricks, with the pupils an odd shade of dirty grey. Will has seen Jem's eyes this way before. The withdrawal always first shows up in his eyes.

"Go take your medicine," Will states. "It looks like you need it." Jem stands up in the bathtub. The water pours off of his scarred and naked body, dripping into the tub.

"Every minute you waste with him is a minute you could be spending with me," Jem whispers. "You're going to regret the time you've wasted." Jem climbs from the bathtub, wraps a towel around his waist, and walks out of the room.

* * *

><p>Will sits beside Jem at breakfast, and during the meal it is announced that Tessa and Jessamine will be attending an afternoon tea party for Constance Midwinter, Augustine Wayland's fiancée. Will and Jem are to spend the morning helping to get the ballroom ready for the wedding, which will be held the next morning. Meanwhile, wedding guests have begun to arrive. Will hears children screaming in the hallway and feels his mood, which wasn't good following Jem's departure from the bathtub, only become worse. When Magnus comes in and gives Will a smile and a wave, Will can only nod in return.<p>

"I'll be in the ballroom," Jem mumbles. He stands up, tosses his napkin down, and walks out the door.

Will finishes his tea, then leaves the dining room and walks down to the Library. He slips between the bookshelves, back to a forgotten corner, and sits in the chair beneath a cobalt blue window. After a little while, Magnus walks between the bookshelves, comes over to Will, and steps on Will's toes.

"This is a good position," Will says. He sits up, takes Magnus by the hips, and pulls him forward.

"Stand up," Magnus states, and offers a hand. Will takes his hand, stands up, and puts his arms around Magnus as Magnus puts his arms around Will's waist. "Come over tonight. I want to make you dinner and I want you to spend the night. I want to end this stupid challenge because I want you in my bed." Magnus runs his hand down the front of Will's shirt, pressing hard against muscle and bone, and then closes his eyes and parts his lips. Will leans forward, fully prepared to give Magnus what he wants, and then he pulls away, remembering last night.

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that," Will says. "You want me to kiss you so you can win the challenge."

"No, it's not that. I'll forfeit the challenge. It's stupid anyway. Things would never work between us," Magnus says.

"What changed your mind?" Will asks. He steps back and looks down at Magnus. "You were the one who proposed the challenge. You were the one who kept leading me on. Now you just want to end it just so we can jump in bed together? Magnus… what's going on? Ever since I came over last night, you haven't been acting right." Magnus sighs and sits down in the chair. He runs his hands through his hair and looks down at the floor.

"Ragnor didn't write only to see how I was," Magnus says. "He wanted to offer me a job. He's the High Warlock of Paris and he needs an assistant. The job is mine if I want it. I would start as soon as my duties to the London Enclave are complete, which could be as early as next week."

"France?" Will asks. Magnus nods and looks up. "You're taking the job, right? I'm sure being assistant to a High Warlock has to be an important position."

"I… I don't know," Magnus says. "I don't like Paris. I like London. And…" Magnus looks down at the floor again, biting his lip. "You're in London."

Will folds his arms and leans against the wall. He opens his mouth to speak but can only say, "Take the job."

"But I'm established here. I've been living here for over a hundred years. It's my home," Magnus says.

"Magnus, you've lived in a lot of different places. You can make a home in Paris," Will says.

Magnus looks up at Will, his eyes wide and pleading. "I don't want to… say the wrong thing and push you away. I don't want to say the right thing and push you away. I don't know what to say so I'll just say it. I can stay in London and we could be together. I can stay in London and be only your friend. Or…I could take the job in Paris and you could come with me."

Will puts a hand over his mouth and looks out the cobalt window, already shaking his head. "Magnus, no."

"I get that you're a package deal, you and Jem," Magnus says. "He could come with us." Will jumps as though startled and takes a step backward to put some distance between he and the warlock. "That's right, Will. I care enough about you to ask you to come with me to Paris and to bring the man you love along."

"No," Will says. "No, we had sex and now we're playing a game and you've just fooled yourself into caring, but you don't care."

"Listen to me," Magnus says. He stands up and takes Will's hands. Magnus's palms are sweating but his grip is sure, and when he looks into Will's eyes, Will can't seem to look away. "I know how you are. I know that right now, all you want to do is run, because I just told you that I cared about you, and you don't want anyone to care about you. But I do." Will flinches and tries to pull away, but Magnus won't let go. "I care about you and that I cannot deny."

"No, you don't," Will says. "You don't care."

"I know I run the risk of pushing you away if I push too hard, and I know that if I act like I don't care about you, it will give you one more reason to want to run. The choice is yours, Will. I'll stay or go, but I want you with me either way," Magnus says.

Will shakes his head and can feel his fingers trembling as he wrenches them Magnus's grasp. He focuses on something besides the green cat eyes. Will looks at a dusty shelf just behind Magnus and studies the gilded spine of a book there. He can feel his heart pounding but no words will come from his mouth, which is so dry, he thinks he just might choke.

"Will," Magnus whispers, "Please say something."

"Take the job," Will says quickly. Then, without a look back, he pushes past Magnus and bolts from the Library.

* * *

><p>Will goes downstairs to the ballroom and finds Jem arranging chairs around a table. Jem looks up, and if he notices Will's harried demeanor, he doesn't say anything.<p>

"Glad to see you could make it," Jem says. "I'm needed in the kitchen. Sophie needs help polishing the silver and Charlotte doesn't want me exerting myself to much. We have to go hunting tonight." Will nods. Jem sits a chair down and heads for the exit, but Will grabs him by the arm and stops him.

"I'm sorry about this morning," Will says.

"I'm used to it," Jem replies. "Next time I won't follow you. If you want to lie to me that's your business. You've been doing it long enough."

"I'm sorry," Will repeats. Jem looks to see who might overhear, and then steps forward.

"If you apologize one more time, I just might get used to it," he says. He tries to head for the door but Will holds him tightly.

"Do you love her? Sophie, I mean," Will asks.

"I love you," Jem mumbles. Will frowns. "I have feelings for her. I always have. I just don't know what I want to do with those feelings."

"Find out," Will says.

* * *

><p>Will spends a long morning moving tables and chairs into place. He's worked up quite a sweat by the time Augustine Wayland walks in with his father, Consul Martin Wayland, and none other than Gabriel Lightwood, who looks Will over with such disdain, Will can't help but make lewd motions with his tongue when Augustine and the Consul are looking at a centerpiece made of unlit candles. Gabriel scowls and turns away, but he can't stop looking at Will.<p>

"I can't leave you alone for three hours without you starting some sort of conflict with him." Will turns to see Jem standing by. His shirt sleeves are pulled up to his elbows, revealing several runes down his forearms, as well as one on his right wrist. Will reaches over and runs his finger up and down that rune a few times, and Jem looks away.

"How's Sophie?" Will asks.

"Up to her elbows in petit fours," Jem replies. "Lunch is ready. Do you want to eat with me?"

"Sure." Will pushes a chair beneath a table and follows Jem from the ballroom. They go upstairs, where people are rushing to and fro, moving their possessions in for a long weekend, or however long they plan to stay.

"There are so many people here," Jem says.

"It's just like someone died," Will agrees. He looks up to see Magnus holding the Library door open as Tessa walks out. They are deep in conversation, and Magnus is looking at Tessa with an intense look in his eyes, transfixed by whatever she is saying. Will takes Jem by the arm and hauls him into the dining room ahead of Magnus, Tessa, and several other people. They get food and take a seat at the table in time for Will to see Magnus pull a chair out for Tessa, and then sit beside her. Will turns his back on Magnus.

"How was your morning, dear?" Will asks. Jem looks surprised that Will seems to care about his morning.

"Fine," Jem replies. He looks down at Magnus, and the back at Will, but says nothing else.

Lunch is roast beef sandwiches and fresh vegetables. Will attacks his sandwich with the fury of a hungry animal, staring only at his plate, while Jem takes small bites and sips a glass of lemonade.

"So you know what I heard?" Jem asks. Will looks up at him and Jem offers a napkin. "Gabriel Lightwood is Auggie's best man."

"See, I was loving the idea of Gabriel being the father to Constance's child, but since he was such good friends with Auggie, he was going to pretend that one little tryst in the linen closet at the Wayland Manor never happened," Will says. "Oh, wait. That was a different Lightwood in the linen closet at the Wayland Manor. I got confused. Their lips felt the same to me." Jem scowls at Will.

"If you're so proud of that encounter, you should just own up to it," he says.

"But nothing ever came of it," Will says. Jem drops his sandwich, looks around the table, and leans closer to Will. "We went into the closet, yes, and we were fooling around, yes, but when we left the closet, she was still a virgin."

"So why do you let Gabriel believe otherwise?" Jem mumbles.

"Because he saw me walk out of the closet with his sister. He's not going to believe his sister when she says nothing happened. Not when there's a magnitude of girls who I did, in fact, steal the virtue of," Will says.

"He hates you, Will," Jem whispers.

"A lot of people hate me," Will says. "As they rightfully should."

"But Will," Jem mumbles. "The other day in the sewer… Gabriel cut you and made you bleed. He seemed fully prepared to end your life in that moment. Perhaps you should attempt to at least make peace with Gabriel. He is an enemy you do not want to have."

"Gabriel just wants to make himself look stronger than he actually is," Will says.

"And you have a desire to make yourself look as awful as possible in anyone's eyes," Jem retorts. "I'm afraid for you but I'm also sworn to protect you and I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to do that with you rushing head long into deadly confrontations."

"Well, if you have a problem with my rushing headlong into deadly confrontations, perhaps we should have never swore as parabatai," Will replies.

"You don't mean that," Jem says. "Do you?"

Will shrugs. "Maybe I would rather be paired with someone else," He says.

"You've made that abundantly obvious," Jem mumbles. He wipes his fingers on his napkin and looks longingly towards the door. Will slips his hand beneath the table and lays it on Jem's thigh. He looks up to see Magnus talking with Tessa, and Magnus meets Will's eyes for a second. Then Magnus's gaze slips to Jem and notes Will and Jem's close proximity. Magnus's eyes take on the pleading look he wore earlier.

"Let's get out of here," Will says.

"Where are we headed?" Jem asks, climbing to his feet alongside Will.

"I don't care," Will says, "I just need to get out of here."

Will doesn't say what he really wants to do, which is to run away from everyone and everything that ever cared for him. Instead, he pulls Jem out the door by the lapel of Jem's jacket and ignores the hurt expression that crosses Magnus's face as once again, he watches Will walk away.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Review if you would like. Wouldn't it be awesome to go to Paris? <strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: I own none of these characters. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

Will and Jem leave the Institute and go first to a bakery, where they get sticky cinnamon buns so sweet, Jem gets a stomach ache. They go to a coffee house for small cups of coffee that leave them jittering and talking quickly about things that have nothing to do with anyone or anything at the Institute. They're wearing glamours, so when Jem reaches over and touches the back of Will's hand, tracing his index finger lightly over the Sight rune there, Will is the only one who notices. While he doesn't return the gesture, he does appreciate it.

The day is pleasant enough, overcast but dry, with a breeze that smells of dead fish wafting up and down the streets. They spend most of the day outside, until Will's cheeks burn with slight sunburn, and then they turn for home. When they get back to the Institute, there are children playing on the front lawn. Magnus stands in the middle of a circle of them, making blue sparks shoot from his finger tips to their amazement.

"Now I know what you see in him," Jem jokes.

"Yes. His sparks just mystify me," Will says.

"That's not all they do," Jem mumbles. "I'm going to take a brief nap before dinner. It would be nice if you joined me." Will looks over at Jem and thinks about the lovely day they shared together.

"I would love to," Will says. He gives Jem the smile he only reserves for Jem. Jem smiles back and blushes a little, no doubt thinking about how long it has been since they've been together. Will reaches over and touches Jem on the inside of his wrist and Jem looks away, biting his lip.

"Will," Magnus says. "Hold up a second."

"I'll be upstairs. Don't keep me waiting," Jem says. He walks up the steps, gets to the door, opens it, and looks back at Will with a smirk and another look he reserves only for Will. Will feels heat beneath the collar of his shirt.

Magnus arrives at Will's side and sits down on a step. Will remains standing so Magnus stands back up. Will looks up at the sky, over at the Institute gates, down at the children running around, anywhere but at Magnus. Magnus steps into Will's view and Will turns away, until Magnus has to walk in a complete circle around him.

"What do you want?" Will finally asks.

"I want you to say something," Magnus says.

"Come on," Will mumbles. He walks up the Institute's steps and feels Magnus right behind him. Will goes to the overhang where they had kissed before and looks Magnus in the eyes. "So how was Tessie today?"

"Tessa is coming along in her studies just fine," Magnus says, his tone unsure. "She's fascinating. I think the Silent Brothers were right. She has something more to her than just the shape shifting. She has another power."

"Oh, can she make herself disappear?" Will asks.

"No, I don't think… Will," Magnus replies.

"Well, even I can make myself disappear. One would think that Tessa should at least have the ability to do the same," Will says. "Am I right? What good is a warlock who can't disappear?"

"I'm not going to just disappear," Magnus mumbles.

"Of course you're going to. You're going to walk down the steps, go around the corner, and disappear," Will says. "Frankly, the quicker you disappear, the quicker I can get to my nap."

"You know, the challenge is still on," Magnus says. "There are still three days left."

"For you," Will says. "Meanwhile, there's a spunky little silver haired angel boy laying naked in his bed for me at the moment, and I always sleep better after I have a throbbing orgasm."

Magnus looks taken aback at the moment. He struggles to choose his words but only manages to settle on "Will." Will folds his arms. "So you're going to forfeit the challenge?" Will nods. "What did I do… I just asked you to come to Paris and I told you to bring Jem and I thought I was making it easy for you to love me."

"Yes, well, you thought…" Will begins.

"It's not Paris that has you avoiding me. Not just Paris, anyway. That's because Paris is in the future and you don't bother to think about the future," Magnus says. "No, you're upset with something going on right now."

"I don't care about right now," Will says. "I don't care about the future. I don't care…"

"You lie. Now I can go through a list of things that could have potentially upset you just today. Shall I?" Will shakes his head. "I didn't invite you to stay last night and you felt rejected. Is that it? No? Okay, I didn't sit with you at lunch, but I don't see why that would upset you."

Will looks at the stone exterior of the Institute and feels his eyelids twitch involuntarily. He looks out into the courtyard, he looks at the backwards letters over the front gate, he tries to avoid the eyes of the warlock standing beside him.

"I didn't sit with you at lunch," Magnus realizes.

"I don't care who you sit with at lunch," Will says.

"That's because I usually sit with Charlotte and Henry but today, I sat with Tessa," Magnus says. "You either love Tessa or you hate her, but my sitting with her is bound to upset you either way. I find her fascinating and that bothers you."

"I find Jem's lower back fascinating. Does that bother you?" Will asks.

"I didn't tell you I would come to the wedding with you either," Magnus says. "I asked you to come away with me, to Paris, but you asked me to come to a wedding and I never gave you an answer."

"I don't care about your answer," Will says.

Yes you do. You've cultivated an image of not caring, but you do care, Will. You care about far more than you'll ever admit to," Magnus says. "Everything you have ever cared for has eventually betrayed you, so you…."

"Please stop talking," Will says. He steps closer to Magnus, so that they are less than an arm length apart. His cheeks flush red and his heart starts to pound. Magnus folds his arms and looks Will in the eyes.

"You pretend to not care, because if you don't care about anyone, you won't have to worry about them hurting you," Magnus says. "It's why you're so adamant about not caring about me."

"I don't care about you! I hate you! Leave me ALONE!" Will cries. He steps forward and shoves Magnus onto the ground. It is a pleasure to see someone who usually moves with such grace tumble to such a painful landing. For a moment, Magnus just lays there, his expression hurt and confused. "Leave me alone. Please just leave me alone." Will walks into the Institute and slams the door closed, leaving Magnus still flat on his back outside.

* * *

><p>Will goes upstairs, enters Jem's room, and finds the bedroom window open to let in a warm breeze. Jem lays in bed, snoring softly, completely naked but covered with a sheet. Will locks the door, then strips naked and climbs beneath the covers.<p>

They spend the afternoon sleeping together as close as possible. There's never sex, nor even the attempt to have it, but sometimes, Jem holds Will around the waist, his cheek resting against Will's shoulder blade, and other times, Will tangles his legs with Jem and forces an arm up between Jem's arms and holds him by the wrist. The Institute is a symphony of loud humans, and for as much potential there is for sex, and as much desire for me, neither feels like risking it.

The sun is beginning to go down when Will wakes to find Jem milling about the room, putting his hunting gear in order. He's looking into his bureau, rustling through some shirts, when Will asks, "What do you think about Paris?"

Jem shivers in surprise and turns around. He's barely dressed in some underpants and a shirt that hangs open, baring his thin chest and stomach.

"I never gave it much thought," Jem says with a shrug. "I assumed I would live and die in London. I've been to France, to Paris even, but I didn't like it. I wouldn't want to live there, no. Why do you ask?"

"We've never discussed where else we would like to live, is all," Will says. "I've never been to Paris."

"Yes, well, you aren't missing anything," Jem says. "Do you want to move to Paris?" Will is silent as he looks out the window. In the time he takes thinking up an answer, Jem turns back to his bureau and withdraws a small metal box he carries over to the bed.

Jem opens the box and pulls out his family ring. He installs it onto his right index finger, then lifts a dagger from the box and looks it over. The dagger is one solid piece of steel, with a gothic "C" on the edge of the blade close to the handle. The handle itself is inlaid with gemstones of every color and size.

"Can you please put that down?" Will asks. Jem drops the dagger back into the box.

"You're afraid of me," Jem whispers.

"I'm afraid for you," Will says, "There's a difference."

* * *

><p>They go downstairs and have a late dinner, then go to a small locker room off of the weapons room and dress for an evening spent demon hunting. They have been going out alone for the last year, and it's always the same: go out, battle demons, return just before sunrise.<p>

When Will and Jem are finally dressed and ready to go out, they meet Charlotte and Henry in the hallway. Charlotte, as usual, gives Will a small satchel containing a dose of Jem's medicine, some cloths for first aid, an apparatus for summoning additional Shadowhunters, two hard rolls, and a chunk of goat cheese.

"Be safe. Henry will be waiting up for you both," Charlotte says. Will just nods and pulls Jem towards the door, but Jem balks when he sees Sophie standing by the entrance to the kitchen.

"By the Angel," Will mumbles. "You had better go say goodbye to her, James." Jem walks over to Sophie, looks back at everyone, swallows nervously, and settles for shaking Sophie's hand. Then, blushing furiously, Jem pushes Will out the door.

They walk down the front steps of the Institute, nearly shoulder to shoulder. From the moment they walk out the door until they find their first demon, there is always a long time spent in quiet contemplation regarding the possible events of the night. Neither have been injured to severely during a night dispatch, but there is always a chance that one of them, if not both, might never make it back. They had each outlined plans for what to do if something happened, but it's always difficult to plan for the unforeseeable.

Finally, Jem's shoulders relax. He reaches over and takes Will's hand, not because he's scared or nervous but because he wants to. Will intertwines his fingers with Jem's and gives Jem a small smile.

"You like her," Will says. "Sophie, I mean. You're allowed to like her. I won't mind."

"I don't know what to do about her," Jem says. "It feels selfish to be with her. I can never give her what she wants from me. Last night I was thinking about how there are a thousand different ways our story could have a happy ending, but this isn't a story, Will. This is life… and eventual death."

Jem lapses into silence for a little while. They continued walking side by side. The sky is overcast, with the moon hiding behind clouds, revealing itself for only moments. Five years of a life spent together lay between them, and Will knows in his heart that Jem doesn't take anything in his life lightly.

"I can't give her happiness and then snatch it away," Jem finally says. "When I die… you'll be sad, but… you'll make it. But leaving her…" Jem shakes his head. "I love you. I could never love her." Will nods. "So what were you saying before, about Paris?"

"Nothing," Will says, "nothing at all."

* * *

><p>The night is routine and most of the demons are more small nuisances than anything. They come across one Shax demon Will makes quick work of while Jem watches his back, then they take a break in an abandoned work shop that smells of burning metal to eat the snack Charlotte sent with them. Jem prepares it, as usual. He sits cross legged on a work table across from Will, so close that their knees touch, and in the light of a small candle Will has found, he spreads cheese onto the rolls and gives one to Will. They eat in near silence, each watching behind the other for anything that could sneak up on them.<p>

"That was delicious," Jem finally says. He brushes crumbs from his lap and sips from a canteen of water, then offers it to Will, who has a drink as well.

Will wonders if sharing Jem's saliva would violate the challenge he has going with Magnus, and then remembers shoving Magnus onto the ground and walking away. If Magnus knew what was good for him, he would be sharing his bed with someone, right now, and would have forgotten all about Will.

Will sees silver, and he turns his head to see Jem leaning close and staring intently at him. There are droplets of water on Jem's lower lip and he licks them away, and then closes his eyes, turning his head just enough. Will does the same and leans so close, he can feel Jem's exhale hit his lips. Will grips Jem's shoulder, holds him steady, and is just about to press his lips to Jem's when he hears the sound of metal scraping against stone.

Will opens his eyes to see Jem staring into the darkness. Will turns around, slowly, and closes his hand over a dagger at his side. He sees one red spot that materializes into an eye, and is quickly joined by seven other eyes. The scraping continues, getting closer and louder as whatever it is approaches. Will extinguishes the candle and lights his witch light. Jem screams hysterically and nearly falls off the table.

Before them, blocking an exit and a set of windows, stands a demon with eight legs, eight eyes, and a body made entirely of a metallic substance. It is the size of a carriage and creeps along like a spider.

"Beneath the table!" Will cries. Jem dives beneath the work table as Will jumps to his feet and hurls a razor sharp disk at the demon. The disk only bounces off the demon and clatters to the floor as the demon continues to advance.

Will throws another disk at the demon's eyes and this time, the disk connects and shears off one of the monster's eyes. There is a loud clicking noise and the demon spews forth several small, sharp spears. Will throws his body down onto the work table but feels the bite of a spear slice into his stomach.

The pain is awful, all ripping and tearing and _burning_. Will staggers to his feet and calls of Jem's name, and Jem responds. Will pulls the seraph blade from the holder across his back.

"Hamied!" Will yells, and the blade glows brightly. Will springs into the air and lands on top of the demon. His boots struggle for purchase on the slick exoskeleton of the demon's back but Will catches his balance and sees Jem beneath the work table, holding his knees tightly to his chest, looking terrified.

Will feels the demon collecting something within itself, possibly reloading more spears, and he takes that moment to swipe Hamied cleanly across the demon's eyes, slicing each of the remaining eyes off. Will plunges the blade deep into the space that the eyes had been, deep enough to feel ichor stinging his fingers.

After a moment of immeasurable agony, the demon folds in on itself quickly and disappears, sending Will crashing to the floor. Will wrenches his body to the side at the last second and absorbs the weight of his entire fall onto his hip, rib cage, and elbow. A bone cracks in his arm as Will's head hits filthy, ichor stained floor. He gasps out several breathes.

"Will!" Jem cries. He runs over, kneeling beside Will. "Will, your arm!" Will looks down to see a bone sticking out of his bicep. "What else is hurt?" Will rolls onto his back and lays his arm across his chest. He's broken bones before and while the pain is excruciating, it won't hurt like this for long. Jem is over him, panicked as he is whenever Will is hurt, but he draws a healing rune on Will's arm and the bone mends itself back together. Fingers shaking, Jem looks Will over, searching for more injuries, but mercifully ignores Will's stomach.

"What was that thing?" Will asks. Jem shakes his head and Will finds Jem's hand. He grips it tightly and Jem squeezes back as his eyes dart around the work shop, taking in all of the shadows.

"I want to get out of here," Jem says. He checks to see that Will's arm is healed, and then helps him off the floor. Once standing, Will is rewarded with a burst of pain. He gasps and sinks his fingers into Jem's arm.

"Ribs," Will explains. Jem takes a step forward, about to unbuckle the protective vest Will is wearing, but Will avoids him. He begins to feel sick to his stomach, like he drank too much and he's dizzy enough to think for a second that perhaps he has been drinking.

"Let's get you home," Jem says. He leads Will from the work shop and out into the street.

Every step stings and burns. The pain melts into the throbbing sensation of something foreign in Will's body.

Jem begins walking, turning back often to give Will concerned looks. Jem is used to this, used to Will pretending he doesn't hurt, used to Will refusing additional runes for pain management. Will finally gives up, stops, and falls against a wall, his face betraying his pain.

"What is it?" Jem asks. Will has his arm crossed over his chest, feigning cracked ribs, when the real injury has to be just inside his right hip.

"Just give me a moment. I have to…." Will places his hand on the waist band of his trousers.

Jem scowls and mumbles something about Will needing to mark his territory. Will turns around, and then looks back at Jem, who folds his arms and walks ten feet away. Jem is jumping from one foot to another, and when his back is turned as he focuses on something in the distance, Will pulls up the bottom of his shirt and looks down.

In the moonlight, Will can only see green fluid and blood on his skin, but there is still pain as well. The rune should have taken care of it, but wouldn't have if the injury was more severe that anticipated. Will drops his shirt over the wound, then clears his throat, sighs loudly, and finally turns and walks back to Jem.

"You know I get shy when you're close," Will snaps.

"Yes, well, I care about all of your well being," Jem replies. "I would hate for you to die with the best part of you hanging out for all to see."

"Now, now, I don't let just anyone see my sparkling personality. That's reserved for you." Will manages a smile. Jem turns for home, but Will can only make it a just a little farther before he falls against another wall. "Why don't you go home? I have an errand to run."

"You won't be running any errands in your condition," Jem says.

"I'm going to Magnus's," Will says. "He and I had a quarrel and I wish to apologize." A look of concern crosses Jem's face. "Please, Jem. It's very important that I go Magnus's house."

"You're hurt, aren't you?" Jem asks. "Just come home. Charlotte and Henry can…"

Will feels himself break out into a cold sweat and he grips a brick on the wall against his back. "I need… to see Magnus," Will says. The fight is gone from Jem's eyes. He's exhausted.

"And what should I tell Henry, when I'm the only one who returns?" Jem asks.

"Tell them what I told you," Will says. He feels another stab of pain and for the first time sees his vision flicker in and out of darkness. "Please, Jem."

"Come home," Jem says. He draws a Portal and steps through. The last thing Will sees is his eyes, silver against the swirling gold of the Portal, before he disappears.

Once alone, Will turns towards the direction of Magnus's house and begins walking. He tries to think good thoughts, tries to pretend that he's not in pain, but then his vision goes black for a second and he staggers into a wall and it takes everything in him to get to the house by the river, and to get to the warlock who could very well refuse to save him.

Finally, Will makes it to the house, walks up the front sidewalk, and falls against the front door. He bangs on the door, again and again, and calls out Magnus's name. The nausea is worse now. When Magnus finally opens the door, dressed in a purple dressing gown and a pair of pants, he finds Will vomiting into a bush.

"Am I still supposed to leave you alone?" Magnus asks. Will gags and coughs up more burning acid from his stomach. He heaves once more, then crawls into Magnus's house and collapses onto the foyer.

"It looked like a spider and it shot out these… darts…" Will manages. "My stomach. My stomach hurts, Mags." Another flash of pain seizes Will and he grabs his stomach, moaning and punching the floor with his still sore knuckles. He falls onto his side and squeezes his eyes shut, his teeth clenched, his breathing fast.

Magnus kneels beside Will, pulls his shirt up, and his expression changes from annoyed to shocked. He performs a spell on Will and picks him up. "Aracnidon."

"What?" Will asks.

"I've never seen one here before. They usually can't survive in damp climates," Magnus says. He walks into the kitchen and shoves a bunch of things to the floor before he lays Will on the kitchen table. He snaps his fingers and Will's armor falls off, leaving him in a blood and sweat soaked shirt. Will starts to shake, hard, and he feels his eye lids open and close on their own accord. He starts to choke, but Magnus turns Will's head to the side. Will takes in several more heaving breaths as Magnus rips Will's shirt open for the second time in less than a week.

Magnus strips Will of his boots and pants as he explains that the Aracnidon demons are known for shooting poison filled darts from their mouths. The poison then speeds up the victim's heart until it finally gives out. Clearly, Will has been shot with such a dart, and he'll die, soon, if Magnus doesn't remove the dart and administer an anecdote.

Will sinks his nails into the skin over his heart and feels it slamming against the inside of his rib cage. The artery in his neck is throbbing, and his head is pounding worse than the worst mind splitting headache he's ever had. Instinctively, Will knows that this is what it feels like to die.

Magnus turns on a light and appears over Will armed with a set of forceps in one hand and a bottle of red powder in the other.

"This is going to hurt," Magnus says. "Don't watch." Will looks down to see a dark barb covered with tiny, knife sharp thorns buried so far into his abdomen, only a few millimeters of it remain outside of his skin. Magnus seizes the barb with his forceps and pulls it out in one smooth motion. Will screams so hard, he tastes blood in the back of his throat as every thorn on the barb rips the skin in his stomach open just a little more.

Magnus pulls the barb free, taking a bit of skin with it. Black blood bursts from the wound, tainted with green poison. Magnus dumps the red powder into the wound and the poison is suddenly neutralized, turning a pale shade of green that Magnus wipes quickly wipes away.

"All better," Magnus says. Will sees darkness and feels his head crack off the back of the table as he finally, mercifully, faints.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Here is a chapter 15 teaser:<strong>

"Going somewhere?" Will asks.

Magnus snaps his briefcase closed and looks up. "Paris," he replies.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: I own none of these characters. Thanks for reading. Please review.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

Will's back is aching when he opens his eyes sometime later. He sees only darkness and candlelight, but find Magnus pressing a cool wash cloth to his forehead. His stomach is sore, like he took a very painful kick in close to a very sensitive place. He's barely dressed, but a quick inspection reveals no blood, ichor, or poison, just bruises.

"You've got a fever. It's just a reaction to the poison," Magnus says. "Providing your body takes the healing rune, you're going to make a full recovery." Magnus hands Will his stele, and Will draws a rune over his heart. Magnus steps away from the table and begins moving things around in a cabinet. Will can barely see him, but he's there.

"Thank you," Will says. "I think you saved my life." Magnus makes a small noise of either agreement or annoyance and continues moving things around. "Mags?" Magnus makes the same noise again. "May I spend the night?"

"No. Just give me a few minutes to finish cleaning up. I'll take you back to the Institute myself," Magnus says.

"You really don't want me spending the night?" Will asks. He sits up with a wince and hangs his feet over the edge table. Magnus continues his organization. As Will's eyes adjust to the light, he sees that the kitchen cupboards are filled with glass bottles of various sizes, all labeled and in perfect order. "Mags?"

"I don't know what I want," Magnus mumbles. "You hurt me, Will, and I don't make a habit of taking boys who hurt me to bed. You owe me an apology."

"I'm sorry," Will says. Those are two words Will rarely says, and even then, they are always directed at Jem.

Magnus nods slowly. His back is to Will, and he just keeps moving things in the cupboard. Glass bottles slide against wood and clink against one another. Will reaches up, rests a hand on Magnus's shoulder, and Magnus pulls away.

"Magnus, please," Will whispers. "I'm sorry I was angry with you about Tessa. I got jealous. You found her so fascinating, and I'm just… why I'm barely anything compared to her. And I'm sorry I pushed you. That was wrong of me. And I'm so, so sorry, I went upstairs with Jem." Magnus nods again. "Please look at me, and please talk to me."

Magnus turns around and leans against a counter top. He looks older in this light. There are faint lines around his eyes Will has never noticed before, and despite not needing much sleep, he looks tired. Magnus's pupils are large, round, and black. Will can barely see the green and gold in his eyes. Magnus's eyes don't appear as they normally do, they are shinier and rimmed with the slightest bit of water. Tears.

"You don't just get to hurt people," Magnus says. "I don't care how terrible your childhood was, or how much your father beat you. You don't get to treat me awful because of it."

"I will never hurt you again," Will repeats. Magnus looks into Will's eyes. His hands fall to his sides, then rub together. His shoulders are tense. He is torn between the desire to walk away from Will, or to stay and work things out.

"You'll hurt me again," Magnus says, "Everything you know of love has been tainted by pain. You don't know how to love someone you don't have to prepare to lose." Magnus lifts a hand and runs it gently down the side of Will's face. "You don't know how to let yourself be loved." Will tenses, involuntarily, and Magnus pulls his hand away. "This was your one chance, Shadowhunter. Hurt me again and I'll never forgive you."

Magnus goes back to his cupboards, goes back to putting his little bottles of potions and powders into order, and Will allows him. It is a very long time before Magnus speaks again.

"So you're going to remain faithful to me, to the challenge, when it's convenient to you? Is that it?" Magnus asks. "You didn't feel like continuing with the challenge earlier today, but now, you want to continue with it? You just wanted an afternoon off?"

"You asked me to come with you to Paris," Will says. "You asked me to be your lover in Paris, and to bring Jem along, because you know I can't live without him. You asked me…." Will shakes his head. "You asked me to share a future with you and no one has ever asked that of me before." Magnus approaches the table and rests his hands on Will's thighs. He's close but not to close, and his touch brings back memories of the intimacy they once shared.

"I asked you to come to Paris because when I look into your eyes, I see the future," Magnus says. "That scares me, Will. I know I have a future but it was always bleak and lonely because I never knew who I could spend it with."

"I feel the same," Will states. "I feel like my future is so uncertain."

"Then let me be the one certain part of it," Magnus says. "When I say that I can be there for you, Will, I mean that I'm not going anywhere."

"Just to Paris," Will says.

"And only if you want to come with me," Magnus states. He looks like he has more to say but finally offers Will his hand. "Let's get some sleep."

* * *

><p>They go down to Magnus's room and start on opposite sides of the bed. For as many runes as Will draws on himself, none of them take care of the fever. Will spends the night shivering as demon filled thoughts plague his nightmares. Finally, Magnus rolls over and holds Will tightly against him, warming and comforting Will with his own feverish temperature, and some time just after dawn, Will wakes up drenched in sweat but cool once again.<p>

Magnus is on the other side of the room, sitting at a desk, flipping through a book. He's dressed in a white shirt with a gold and black waist coat over it. Will clears his throat and Magnus looks up.

"Feeling better?" Magnus asks. Will nods. "I'll go get you some breakfast. You have to be starving. I've already put some clothes down in the bathroom. Feel free to wash up."

Will climbs out of bed and walks down to the bathroom, where he finds some clothing that looks suspiciously like what he wore to Magnus's house the first time he had shown up. Will lifts the shirt to his nose and carefully sniffs. The clothes might have belonged to Will, but they still smell like Magnus, as though they spent the past week in Magnus's closest, or, better yet, on Magnus's body.

Will washes, then dresses in the clothes and walks back down to the bedroom. Magnus has a full breakfast sitting on a small table. There is a plate of bacon, eggs, and potatoes, as well as a bowl of fruit and even a tall glass of orange juice. Will sits down and begins eating. Magnus meticulously makes the bed, then walks back over to his desk.

"Going somewhere?" Will asks.

Magnus snaps his briefcase closed and looks up. "Paris," he replies.

Will spears a potato with his fork, puts it into his mouth, and watches as Magnus goes to his closet and gets a coat out. Neither speak for a few minutes, until Will finally asks, "Why Paris?"

"Ragnor offered me a job. I owe it to myself to at least see what the job entails," Magnus says. "You've got that wedding this afternoon, and I've been freed of my work with Tessa for the day. I might as well go to Paris."

"Will you be coming back?" Will asks. He takes another potato and puts it in his mouth. Magnus sits down in a chair close to Will.

"Do you want me to come back? Because yesterday, you told me to leave you alone."

"Of course I want you to come back," Will says. "I don't know of any other warlocks who would pull a poison dart out of my stomach on such short notice."

"I'll be back by early afternoon then," Magnus says. "Do you still want me to come to the wedding?"

"Of course," Will says.

"Then I will be at your Institute in time for dinner," Magnus says. "Hurry up and finish eating. I need to get going." Magnus stands up and walks over to his desk.

"Looking forward to seeing your long lost love?" Will asks.

"Were you intimate with Jem yesterday?" Magnus retorts. "Because you shoved me aside and went upstairs with him. I have a right to know whether or not you plan to continue the challenge."

Will looks over to see Magnus staring intently back at him.

"We shared a bed," Will says. "That's all." Magnus nods. "And you? Why are you going to see Ragnor?"

"I owe it to myself to entertain all options," Magnus says. "As for what I do once I get to Paris, you're going to have to trust me. I know that's hard for you, but please try."

"Very well," Will says. He continues eating until finished, and then helps Magnus carry the dishes back down to the kitchen. The room is completely back in order. The cupboards are stocked with their potions as usual, and there is no evidence to show that any sort of treatment had occurred the night before.

Magnus washes the dishes and Will dries them. Their arms occasionally touch. Will looks over and gives Magnus a smile the warlock doesn't return.

"You were amazing last night," Will finally says. "You saved my life, Magnus."

"You got very lucky. I was just glad I could save you," Magnus says. "I would just feel terrible if something bad happened to my favorite little Shadowhunter."

"Oh stop it you," Will says, lightly smacking Magnus's arm with his hand, "You're my favorite warlock." Magnus laughs and finally smiles, briefly.

"I was reading up on those demons," Magnus says. "That dart that you were shot with has the potential to pierce armor, depending on how close you are. Had the demon been closer, had the barb landed near your heart… you would have probably never made it here."

"So how did the demon come here? You said that you had never seen an Aracnidon demon here before," Will says.

"I fear it has something to do with Tessa's brother and that Mortmain character," Magnus says, "Suffice to say, I'm not only going to Paris because I'm craving fois gras." At Will imploring look, he continues with, "It's a dish made with duck liver and-" Will gags. "There is a reason why Ragnor is the High Warlock of Paris and that is half the reason why I am going to go see him."

* * *

><p>Magnus walks halfway back to the Institute with Will, then draws a Portal and steps through, promising Will that he will be back before dinner. There is no reason to watch Magnus go, when he steps through the Portal, he might as well be already in Paris, and so Will continues walking back to the Institute. He tries to deny the little pang in his heart he gets when he pictures Magnus landing in the middle of Paris and walking purposefully into the arms of his former lover. It is strange to think about Magnus being with a man he once loved, and with a start, Will realizes that this must have been how Magnus felt when he watched Will walk inside the Institute, intent on finding his way into Jem's bed.<p>

The day is bright and sunny but the breeze still smells like dead fish. When Will finally turns onto the street that the Institute is located on, the breeze shifts, and he can only smell flowers from the Institute garden. He's sneezing by the time he walks into the Institute's front gates.

There are children milling around, playing games. Jem is sitting on the front steps between Sophie and Tessa. They're all dressed nicely, prepared for the wedding, and look like the picture of perfect domestic tranquility. Tessa is dressed in her yellow dress and Sophie is wearing green. Jem is wearing a gray morning suit. He's pulling the petals off a daisy and has his head down. Sophie touches his hand and Jem shakes his head. Tessa looks up, sees Will, and says something to Jem.

"Will!"Jem cries. He throws the daisy down, then bolts across the courtyard and nearly tackles Will to the ground. Big tears drip down his face as he holds Will tightly and buries his face in Will's shirt. It would be seen as a spectacle if it was anyone but Jem. "By the angel, I was up half the night researching that stupid demon! You could have died, Will!"

"And yet, I did not," Will says. "I will live to fight another day."

"If you had been hit by another dart, you would have died, Will," Jem says. He releases Will and looks up at him. "What happened? How did Magnus treat you?"

"Very well," Will says. Jem folds his arms. "Magnus pulled the dart out and gave me an anecdote. I'm good as new."

"You should have told me you were hurt," Jem insists.

"And what were you going to do about it?" Will asks. "You couldn't save me, Jem, no more than I could save you."

"I don't want to quarrel," Jem mumbles. "I'm just glad you're better."

Jem pulls Will inside, and after they check in with Charlotte and Henry, Will goes upstairs and gets dressed in a pair of grey trousers which he pairs with a white shirt, over which he puts a black tail coat.

Will feels like he is roasting in his clothing when he finally leaves his bedroom and follows Jem downstairs. They meet up with Charlotte, Henry, Tessa, Jessamine, and Sophie just inside of the door leading to the garden. Charlotte looks resplendent in a dark purple dress which gives her complexion a good dose of color, and Henry's clothing all coordinates as though Charlotte picked it out and forced him to wear it. Henry looks Will up and down with a judgmental frown.

"Black, William? You're going to wear black to a garden wedding?" Henry asks.

Will brushes a bit of lint from the front of Jem's jacket. "Seems fitting," Will remarks. "We wouldn't be here, had someone's virtue not bit the dust."

"I'll tie you up in the crypt!" Jem snaps.

"Not here, James. You must not speak that way to me," Will says. "You know what could happen. Why, you could-" Tessa blushes and averts her eyes. Charlotte glares at Will.

"Shall we, then?" Henry asks. He takes Charlotte by the arm and leads her into the garden. Jem offers his arm to Sophie and gives Will a look before walking out with her. He's carrying his walking stick, so he has no free arm.

Will offers his arm to Tessa, and she takes it. Then Will turns to Jessamine and offers his other arm. Jessamine looks up at the apex of the room, which has chandelier hanging from it. She admires the stone work bordering the door. She takes in to account the ivy creeping up the stone fence that surrounds the garden.

"Come along, darling," Will says, "Only the bride is allowed to be late to the wedding."

Jessamine takes her jeweled clutch and wallops Will across the arm with it.

"I don't care if you nearly died last night," Jessamine snaps.

"Now, now, this could all be yours," Will says. Jessamine looks out over the garden, at all of the many people taking seats to witness the wedding, and she gets a wistful look on her face… for a moment. Then she takes Will by the arm and pulls him and Tessa out of the Institute. Will looks over to Tessa holding his right arm, then at Jessamine holding his left, and chuckles softly. Tessa looks at Will, a curious look on her face.

"This is going to live in my fantasies for weeks," Will says.

Tessa pinches the inside of Will's arm so hard, she leaves a bruise behind.

* * *

><p>The bride is, per Will's prediction, late, but she finally arrives. Her maid of honor, dressed in lilac colored gown, walks in first, and there is something so familiar about her. The maid of honor's dark blond hair is pulled back in a French braid, and she looks older, somehow. With her hair up, there is nothing to hide her thin face, her green eyes, or her…<p>

"Ambriel Lightwood," Jem mumbles. "I had no idea." Will looks down at the ground when she walks by.

They stand up when the music changes, and the bride. Constance walks down the aisle dressed in an ivory lace gown, carrying a bouquet of lavender roses, on the arm of her father. Will looks her over, then turns his eyes to the arch Augustine Wayland, the groom, stands beneath. Beside him stands his best man, Gabriel Lightwood.

Augustine looks pale and faint but there is more than fear to his expression. He's crying, not hysterically, but instead shaking his head and looking so in love, Will can only feel envious that Augustine gets to feel that way.

Jem sniffs beside Will and wipes a few tears away from beneath his eyes. Will looks down and offers a brief smile. Jem composes himself quickly.

The wedding proceeds quickly. It is a somber, but happy affair. There are prayers for the guidance, health, and happiness of the bride and groom. They exchange vows and promises, and both cry when Augustine slips the Wayland ring onto her finger. Then, they go inside of the Institute, accompanied by only Gabriel and Ambriel. Tessa turns to Will.

"Where have they gone?" She asks.

"The Sanctuary. There are runes designated for weddings that they will each draw on one another. They're similar to parabatai runes… symbols used to bind one person to another," Will explains. He looks over at Jem, who is talking quietly with Sophie as he traces a design lightly on her wrist with his finger.

"Can you remove the runes?" Tessa asks.

"I've tried but he won't grant me a divorce," Will mumbles. "Something about wanting the canal house in Alicante or else." Jem frowns at Will, his nose wrinkling up into a scowl.

"All permanent runes are on until death, or, until they are physically stripped off," Jem says. "Shadowhunters take marriage and parabatai very seriously."

"It's not a matter of life and death," Will mumbles. "It doesn't have to be that serious. Can you believe Auggie cried?"

"Sometimes true love makes you cry," Jem replies. "You've never cried over love before?"

"Of course not. Love isn't worth crying over," Will scoffs. "I think you need a nap, James." Jem looks back at the pale blue veins on Sophie's wrist and says nothing.

After a few minutes, Gabriel pushes the Institute doors open and walks down the steps, followed by Ambriel. They walk out into the sun as Augustine and Constance appear the doorway. Everyone in the garden looks at the couple, waiting on baited breath despite the palpable silence. Will feels a smile steal across his face. There is only one explanation for the silence, and Will waits for it, along with everyone else.

Then, quietly, but loud enough so that everyone can hear it, Gabriel clenches his teeth shut and says, "Kiss her!"

Augustine looks surprised for a second. Then he takes Constance in his arms and kisses her passionately on the lips.

Everyone cheers and bursts into applause.

* * *

><p>Following the wedding, there are cookies and punch served in the garden before the newlyweds will go have lunch with their immediate family. Will is interested in getting out of the sun and perhaps taking a long nap in the nude, but Jem is talking to a few of their boys he and Will studied at Shadowhunter academy with. Sophie stands beside him, trying to look interested. Jessamine is long gone, but Tessa is sitting on a bench near the garden fence, holding a glass of punch and daintily eating a cookie.<p>

Will pours himself a glass of punch and doses the glasses contents with some vodka from his flask. He crosses the garden and steps in front of Tessa.

"You look like you could use a drink," Will suggests, and holds out the punch.

"Thank you," Tessa says. She takes the cup, has a sip, and nearly spits onto the ground.

"And she swallows," Will says. Tessa cringes and shoves the glass back into his hand.

"I'm not in the mood for your cruel torture today," Tessa snaps. "You can just leave me alone if you aren't…"

"I'm sorry. You looked like you needed a drink," Will says. He sits beside Tessa on the bench and steals a cookie from her plate. "I know how you feel, Tess. Seeing Jem happy could be the death of me, but it's all I want for him." Will nods to Jem and Sophie. Tessa barely regards them and returns her gaze to her plate of cookies.

"It's not Jem and Sophie… Not completely, anyway. Sophie had a claim to Jem long before I even arrived," Tessa says. "Would you ever get married, Mr. Herondale?"

"I've never really thought about getting married," Will confesses. "My parents were miserable together, and I never found anyone I could tolerate, besides Jem, anyway."

"Would you marry him?" Tessa asks.

"He's a man. I can't…" Will says.

"If you could, would you?"

"I already have. Just because we don't share a last name, it doesn't mean I wouldn't give anything to spend my life with him at my side."

"So you've found someone to love, who will love you back," Tessa says.

"That's part of being parabatai, yes," Will mumbles. "Why have you brought this up, Tessa? It's highly inappropriate that you're asking me these sorts of…."

"I want to get married," Tessa says. "I want to have a family and I will never have that. I'm going to be all alone, and you…you, the most unlovable man I have ever met, still have people who love you. It's unfair."

"I wouldn't say love. I would say forced to tolerate," Will says. Tessa's eyes fill with tears. They spill over the edges. "Tessa, darling, listen. You have a whole life ahead of you."

"I have a very long life ahead of me," Tessa says. "I have a very long life to look forward to, a life spent alone."

"Pretty girls shouldn't cry," Will says, offering Tessa a tissue. "If I could find a man who would love you forever and make your dreams come true, I would. But all I can say is that he's out there for you, Tessa. And one day, you're going to have the happiness you deserve."

Will gently pats Tessa on the hand as she composes herself. He gets the feeling that someone is watching him, and he looks up to see Gabriel looking at him. Gabriel's eyes burn with hatred and Will shivers before looking back at Tessa.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Pretty please review, please? I have the next chapter nearly ready to go but I won't post early unless I know you want it, and you do, right? Here are two teasers:<strong>

"Please, Will. You're all I will ever want," Jem begs. "Please."

**and**

"He's asked me to go with him to Paris," Will whispers. "He's told me to bring you with me. I won't go unless you come with me."


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: Thank you for the wonderful reviews! As promised, here is your bonus chapter for this week. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

After the wedding, the bride and groom go off to have a luncheon with their immediate families. Everyone else goes to sip cocktails and socialize, or to rest up for the ball which will be held that evening. Will and Jem have a few small sandwiches for lunch, then subtly sneak off to their rooms.

Will changes out of his dress clothes and into something more comfortable before he slips out of his room and walks into Jem's room. Jem is reclined on his window seat, shirtless but dressed in a pair of loose linen pants. He gives Will a smile.

"Let me show you something," Jem says. He stands up, gets his stele from the bedside table, and walks over to Will. Jem pushes the door shut, and then hands Will his stele. "Watch this." Jem puts his hand over Will's, and then assists Will in drawing a rune onto the door. It is very simple and quickly drawn, but feels powerful, even to Will. "It's a locking rune, but it can only be unlocked by the person who drew it."

"It's how you locked yourself in the weapons room," Will says.

"I can't remember… and I don't want to talk about it," Jem says. "We've been through a lot the past few days, and I just want you… without any interruptions." Jem runs one hand up Will's spine. Will turns around and Jem takes him in his arms, looking up into his eyes. "I would be lost without you. I… I love you, Will."

"I love you to, Jem," Will says. It's a bit to earnest, even for his ears. Jem smiles, closes his eyes, and runs his hands down the sides of Will's face. He sighs and leans forward, but Will manages to avoid him. Jem opens his eyes and frowns, then takes Will's hand and pulls him to the bed. They lay down on it, side by side. Jem unbuttons the top button on Will's shirt, followed by the next. Will grabs Jem's hands to keep him from going any further.

"Why can't I have you?" Jem asks.

"I'm trying to go without sex, so when I have it again, maybe it will mean something," Will says.

"But it always means something," Jem says. "We love each other, and we show that love by making one another feel good. Remember?" Jem slips his hand into Will's shirt and rubs his chest. His face is just a few inches away, and all Will can see are big silver eyes staring directly into his own.

Will sighs and rests his hand on the smooth skin over Jem's heart.

"I don't have to have sex with you to show you how I feel," Will mumbles. "Doesn't… what we have together…transcend sex? If we could never have sex again, would you still want to be with me?"

"Of course," Jem says. "If you never wanted to make love to me ever again, I would still want to love you. I would still want to be with you this way. You mean everything to me, Will." Jem runs his finger across Will's lower lip.

"Jem," Will whispers.

"May I please kiss you?" Jem asks, "Please?"

"I can't."

"Then let me do something else," Jem says. He slides his hand beneath Will's shirt, and carefully pulls it over Will's head. "Lay on your stomach… that is, if you can."

Will rolls onto his stomach and buries his head in Jem's lavender scented pillow. Jem climbs on top of him, straddling his hips. He places a kiss at the base of Will's neck, then licks and kisses his way down to the lowest part of Will's back. He licks a little lower, teasing his tongue against the base of Will's tailbone, then rests his hands on the small of Will's back and begins to massage.

"What are you doing?" Will mumbles.

"I'm showing my love for you in another way," Jem says. "You'll let me touch you, right?" Will doesn't have a chance to answer, because Jem begins to knead his hands up Will's back to his shoulders, slide them back down again, and grinds his knuckles into the thick, ropy muscles across Will's upper back.

Jem leans forward and Will feels the smooth skin of Jem's chest rest against his back. He feels so soft, comfortable, and familiar. Jem rolls the muscles in Will's neck in his hands, then kisses and licks across them. His warm lips travel up to the side of Will's neck, and then bites at the skin gently. He lightly sucks on Will's earlobe, causing Will's neck to flush with blood, then teases the thin skin just behind Will's ear.

Will's eyes flicker shut as his fingers twitch beneath Jem's pillow. His heart begins to pound and he feels himself start to slowly harden despite being pressed tightly against the mattress. Jem scratches his nails gently over Will's ribs, down his waist, all the way to Will's hips, and Will feels his stomach tighten as he becomes more aroused.

"Have you ever had a man on top of you?" Jem whispers. His breath feels moist against Will's ear. Will turns his head and Jem again flicks his tongue against Will's ear lobe, and then sucks on it like a lozenge. Will's breath catches and he turns his head more. Jem licks behind Will's ear and slips his fingers beneath Will's pants.

Jem's fingers are slick and probing and they stroke the skin in the vicinity of Will's entrance. Will spreads his legs and Jem moves his hand deeper into Will's pants. Will moans into the pillow and pushes his back against Jem's hand. There is a spot on Will's body he is dying to have touched, and when Jem gets close to it, his fingers begin to feel like a warm, wet tongue on thin, sensitive skin.

With every passing second, Will finds he can no longer deny the feeling of heat filling his lower stomach. He clenches he teeth and tries to think rationally but no rational thought will come. Jem leans over again, his fingers still rubbing. His cloth covered erection rests against Will's back. Jem is rock hard and already throbbing.

"I can do it," Jem mumbles, "I'm willing to try it. I'll be gentle and everything."

"Jem," Will moans.

Jem pulls Will's pants down so his backside is exposed. One hand remains, touching Will so very intimately, while Will feels Jem moving, carefully. Jem pulls his own pants down, causing his erection to spring free. Will can see it out of the corner of his eye as Jem reaches down and begins to stroke himself with half closed eyes.

For so long, Will wanted Jem this way, but Jem had never offered. The fact that he finally has makes Will only desire Jem even more. He never wanted to give this to Will before. He was always content to be the one on his back with his knees spread. To Will, the thought of being the one in that position is both frightening and arousing.

Will remembers the seconds after Magnus had first penetrated him, and how he felt like he was tearing in half at the same time he was giving himself so fully to Magnus. His heart was slamming against his ribs, but Magnus's lips were suddenly gentle against his, and the fear and pain evaporated.

Will's erection contracts quickly when he imagines Jem holding his hands and kissing away his tears.

Jem smiles at the wanting gaze of Will's eyes and presses his erection into the cleft of Will's backside. He's already silky smooth with precum and he's soft enough to not hurt Will to badly. Jem licks his fingers, and then quickly slips the first two into Will. Will flinches as Jem spreads his fingers, curiously testing limits. Jem pulls his fingers out and slides them in. Will moans in protest, but he doesn't ask Jem to stop.

"Shhhhh." Jem whispers. "It's okay." He lays a hand on Will's lower back and rubs his hand in a slow and gentle circle. "Will, if it's what you want, you should be allowed to have it." Will sinks his nails into Jem's pillow and bites it for good measure. One part of him wants to pull away, and another part wants to pull himself up on his hands and knees and give himself over to the boy who wants only love in return.

With Jem, the only decision to be made has to be made in the next minute. They live minute to minute. There is no Paris, no challenge, and no question of what could happen. It is only Will, Jem, and the bed they have made love in countless times before.

But there's a warlock in Paris who's trusting Will to do the right thing, only, Will doesn't know what the right thing is any more.

"I want you, Will," Jem whimpers. He slips another finger into Will, stretching him. He's going too fast, his motion more stabbing and less caressing, yet all that Will wants is to fall fast, come fast, and then cool down slowly in the arms of the boy he loves.

"No," Will says, but he feels his resolve begin to crack. He feels foolish for putting himself in this position, but he can't move from it.

"Please, Will. You're all I will ever want," Jem begs. "Please." He moves his fingers deep inside of Will, then pulls them and slides them in again, all the while rubbing Will's lower back.

Will moans and begins rubbing himself against the mattress and the rough front of his trousers. He feels pain and pleasure mixing together. He remembers waking up this way so many times before, alone in his bed but thinking about the silver haired boy in the next room over. He thinks about countless days spent in the alcove, barely dressed, only thin fabric separating their bodies. He thinks about laying a blanket in front of the roaring fireplace in Jem's room, and he remembers the sharp taste of Jem's warm, smoky scented skin.

Will pushes himself deeper into the mattress, rubbing harder. Sweat bursts forth across his shoulder blades and he's aching to have Jem pushing him down into the mattress.

Will opens his eyes, turns his head, and sees Jem poised behind him, his eyes bright and steady as he pleasures himself with one hand and Will with the other.

"Just let me," Jem mumbles, "please? I love you so much, Will, and I want you, so bad."

"No," Will says.

"Please," Jem whispers. He withdraws his fingers, and then moves his hips forward so that his erection rubs against Will once more. That sensitive place is now slick with saliva, and every bit of Will's insides are screaming to feel every thick inch of Jem buried inside of him. Jem leans over and kisses the middle of Will's back in the same place he always kisses him when they lay together. "It will only hurt for a second."

"No," Will says.

Jem sighs against Will's back and then bites gently at Will's neck. He is close, so very close. Jem pushes against Will, harder this time. Will spreads his knees more, and then angles his backside up so that he's no longer flat on his stomach but instead resting on his elbows. Jem reaches down, grips Will's erection in one hand, strokes, and presses himself into Will.

Will cries out and feels hot tears spill from his eyes as his shaking hands find bits of mattress and blanket to tear at. Jem bucks his hips, pushing in harder, and Will screams in agony.

"NO!" Will cries. "No, please stop! Please, please, stop!"

Jem gasps, pulls out, and bolts into the bathroom as Will buries his face into the pillow and clutches his stomach with one hand. There are tears, real, sudden, tears, and Will can't stop them, because some times, love can hurt you to the core.

Just over his sobs, Will hears Charlotte call out his name, followed by the click of a key in the lock. Jem's room could never be truly locked, simply for his own safety. Will reaches down and jerks his pants up. The door opens and Charlotte walks in. She takes in the sight on Will face down on Jem's bed, but Jem is mercifully nowhere to be found.

"What's the matter?" Charlotte asks.

"Nightmare," Will gasps. "Demon… nightmare."

Charlotte nods. She looks shook up and Will remembers that the last time screamed that way. He remembers blood all over the floor and Jem laying in a puddle of it, crying out prayers.

"Please try to calm your thoughts," Charlotte says. "We've got company." She looks once at the closed bathroom door, and then leaves the room as quickly as she arrived.

Will waits a moment, then climbs from the bed and goes to the bathroom door.

"I'm a monster," Jem whispers. He's on the other side of the door, and Will can see a shadow where he sits.

"We just want different things," Will says. "Come out, please… we need to talk, Jem."

It takes some coaxing, but Will finally is able to join Jem in the bathroom. Jem has taken to sitting with his knees pulled up on a stack of white towels on the floor, and Will sits beside him. He takes Jem's sweaty hand and presses it to his lips, kissing the boy carefully on the scar across the back of his thumb.

"When did I stop listening?" Jem asks. "I've stopped listening to you, Will. I've started doing what I want… I never asked… what do you want, Will?"

Will looks over at Jem and studies the sharp angles of Jem's face, admiring how the silver of his eyes blends so perfectly with the paleness of his face. Jem's hair falls in fine filaments of silver mixed with still stubborn streaks of black. It hangs in his eyes, longer than proper, but suitable, somehow.

"He's asked me to go with him to Paris," Will whispers. "He's told me to bring you with me. I won't go unless you come with me." Jem lets his head fall back against the wall, and he stares up at the window.

"You want me to leave the place I have called home for the past five years, and to follow you and the warlock to Paris?" Jem asks.

"Yes. I want you to come with me," Will says. "What do you want, Jem?"

"There are so many things I want." Jem clenches the hand not holding Will's into a fist and presses it against his forehead. For what feels like forever, there is only the sound of his quiet breathing in the room, and then Jem whispers, "I want you to be happy."

"There are many ways I can be happy," Will says. "But I want to be with you, Jem. I need to be with you… there is only one person I have to be with, and it is you." Will runs his finger over the rune that binds them together, and Jem watches Will's fingers trace the complicated swirls, valleys, and peaks of the rune. The parabatai rune was designed to be symbolic of the journey two souls would take.

"If you want me to come with you to Paris, I will. If you want me to stay here, I will," Jem says. "I will go where you want me to go, until I can follow no longer, if that is what you want."

"I want you with me, Jem," Will says. "No matter where I go, I want you there. But tell me what you want."

"I want you to be happy," Jem says. He stands up and pulls his hand away from Will's. "And I want you to leave my room now. I need to be alone. I need to think."

"I'll see you soon," Will says. He stands up and gently squeezes Jem's shoulder before he leaves him standing in the bathroom.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review. Here is a teaser for your trouble:<strong>

His expression changes quickly from the look of a man in love, to the look of a man who just saw his worst nightmare come true. Awful, painful realization dawns on his face as his eyes fill with tears. He covers his mouth with his hand and shakes his head in abject horror. "No."


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

Will returns to his room, where he crawls into bed and sleeps. He's woken up a few hours by the click of dress shoes pacing back and forth in Jem's room. Will climbs out of bed, goes into the bathroom, and proceeds to get ready for the ball.

The attire for the ball is black tie, and so Will dresses in black trousers, a crisp white shirt with a silver waist coat, and a black swallow tail coat. As an afterthought, he grabs his blue silk scarf, and then walks out the door.

Jem is standing in the hallway, dressed similarly to Will but wearing a shorter coat. He nods a greeting and says that Tessa and Sophie will be meeting them downstairs. Jem claims he needs a drink and starts down the hallway, and Will hurries after him. Jem's shoulders are hunched, as though he feels awful for something, and Will risks touching his hand. Jem looks up, quiet resignation upon his face.

"I'm sorry about earlier. It won't happen again," Jem mumbles.

"It's not that I don't want it to happen again. Just…. Not right now," Will says. Jem gives Will an unsteady smile and looks back down at the floor. "Are you alright?"

"You want to go to Paris with a warlock and you want me to come with you," Jem says. "You want me to change my life for you… and I would change my life, for you. I just don't know what I want to do. I need more time."

"You can have all the time you need," Will says.

They walk down to the ballroom, which has been decorated in the colors of purple and candlelight. Charlotte and Henry are already making rounds. There are waiters circulating with trays of drinks, and when a waiter's back is turned, Will swipes two of the drinks and hands one to Jem. Gabriel and Augustine are each welcoming guests as Constance stands beside them, talking cheerfully with Ambriel and glowing with love.

"I see why Tessa wants to get married," Will remarks.

"Tessa wants to get married?' Jem asks.

"All women want to get married, James. You know this," Will mumbles. Jem nods quickly and drinks deeply from his cocktail. "We should offer our congratulations to the happy bride and groom." Jem protests, but follows Will across the room and over to the wedding party. Gabriel mumbles something to Augustine, then pats him on the back and walks away. Augustine looks up nervously as Will and Jem approach.

"Congratulations, Auggie. One of us had to be the first to do it, am I right?" Will asks.

"The first to do what?" Augustine asks.

"Why, marry a beautiful girl, of course," Will says. He winks to the bride and shakes Augustine's hand. "I had a feeling when I saw you two together back in Alicante, there was something special between you both."

"Best wishes on a happy and prosperous future," Jem says, also shaking Augustine's hand.

"Go forth and multiply," Will says. Augustine blushes and Will laughs.

"Augustine? A gin and tonic, per your request," Gabriel says, walking over. He hands the drink to Augustine, who drinks deeply from it. "Herondale. Carstairs."

"Lightwood," Jem says, with a little snicker. His silver eyes are bright and his mouth is set into a tiny smirk. Will looks down to see that Jem's cocktail glass currently empty. Jem rarely drinks, and when he does, he almost never gets drunk. Tonight, however, there is a feeling in the air that anything can happen.

Gabriel looks at Jem, a disgusted frown on his face. He unsnaps one of the white gloves he's wearing, removes the glove, dries his palm on his pants, and pulls the glove back on. He looks Will up and down with a sour, disdainful expression on his face, and then mumbles something to Augustine.

"I was going to say the same thing," Will says. "It's nice to see you with clothes on, Gabriel." Gabriel's cheeks flair red and his eyes narrow as he glares at Will. "Auggie and I were just talking about all of our good memories from Alicante. I've always heard that what happens in Idris stays in Idris, but do you remember all those hot, humid afternoons we got to blow off an afternoon of training? The things we did, Gabriel! Do you remember?"

"I don't recall doing anything with you," Gabriel says.

"You don't remember the one time we… went swimming at the Wayland Manor?" Will asks. Gabriel blinks a few times and glances over to Augustine. "What did you think I was going to say? Oh, you were thinking about the one time you, Jem, and I were up in the dorm, drinking that awful wine… do you remember that night, Gabriel? I barely can!" Gabriel looks as though he wants to murder Will in front of everyone. "You can relax, Gabriel. It was just wine. Though I do remember you being persuaded to drink a bit more than expected…"

"Congratulations!" Jem exclaims, and drags Will away from Gabriel and Augustine. Will spies a waiter circulating with cocktails and takes two more. He drains one and sets the glass down. Jem pulls Will behind a tall pillar of witch light. He looks around, quickly, before stepping close to Will. "Do you not remember four days ago? You lying on your back in the sewer as Gabriel pressed a blade to your stomach? He wanted you dead and yet you continue to antagonize him…"

"But Jem, he asks for it!" Will cries. "He barely regarded your presence. He doesn't respect you and that hurts me, Jem."

"I don't care. I love you and care for you and if something happened to you, I don't know what I would do," Jem whispers. "Honestly, Will, I love you."

"I never doubted that," Will says. He looks into Jem's eyes and can imagine himself pressing his lips to Jem's. He so desperately wants someone to hold, he nearly pulls Jem against him, but then something behind Will distracts Jem, and the moment is gone.

"Promise me you won't be a complete fool tonight," Jem mumbles.

"Not a complete one," Will says, "I should retain some of my dignity." Jem takes the cocktail from Will and drinks half of it, grimacing as he swallows. "Then again, if you drink for the both of us, we won't have to worry about me making a fool of myself." Jem scowls but finishes the drink and finds two more for them.

They take to leaning against a witch light pillar, watching as the ballroom begins to fill up. Old friends are reacquainted, and new friends are introduced. There is a small orchestra playing romantic music, and the door leading to the garden is open. A warm summer breeze wafts in, smelling of late summer flowers. Will looks over to see Jem sip his cocktail and lick his upper lip a little. Will draws closer to Jem, so that their shoulders touch.

Jem's hand hangs at his side and Will reaches over, hooking his pinkie finger with Jem's for the briefest of seconds. It's something they haven't done for years, not since Jem's nights were almost always filled with night terrors. Will would climb into bed with Jem and hold him tight, and in the morning, Charlotte would find them in bed together, laying side by side, only the smallest fingers on their hands touching.

"What if she doesn't show up?" Jem asks. "Sophie, I mean. She's never come to a ball she didn't have to work at. What if she…"

"She likes, you, Jem. She'll show up," Will says. He bumps his pinkie finger against Jem's once more.

Will's more pressing concern is whether or not Magnus will show up, and moreover, if Will even wants him to show. Dinner is to start at eight and the last time Will looked at his pocket watch it was twenty minutes until the appointed hour, and Magnus said he would be back from Paris by the afternoon… but what if Magnus wants to know how Will spent his afternoon? Will can't even explain what happened with Jem because it certainly wasn't sex but it was certainly more than a fully clothed nap….

Out of the corner of his eye, Will sees a man walk into the ballroom. He's dressed in a black trousers and a black frock coat that extends to the middle of his thighs, worn over a dark green waist coat. His eyes search the room the same way Will searched the crowd in front of the theater. A smile crosses Magnus's face as he finally finds the man he has sought.

Will swallows nervously and feels his heart beat faster. Magnus crosses the room, first stopping to greet a few people, but his gaze only wavers from Will's for the briefest of moments before he suddenly standing in front of Will. Magnus looks Will up and down with eyes full of love and desire, and bites his bottom lip to keep from smiling too much.

"You look amazing," Magnus says. Will rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "I'm sorry I'm late. I had some trouble getting inside, and then I saw Tessa in the hallway with Jessamine, so I stopped to talk with them..."

"I'm happy to see you," Will says, his voice cracking. "How was Paris?" Magnus shrugs and greets Jem, who in looking more agitated by the second.

"Sophie must be in her room. I'll have to send Charlotte-" Jem states. He looks up at the entrance to the ballroom and his mouth falls open a little.

Will turns up to see Jessamine walk in, dressed in a dark pink ball gown. Her hair is pulled up in a fantastically regal updo. Beside her is Tessa, dressed in a dark blue dress and looking equally immaculate. They descend the steps into the ballroom and stop at the bottom. They look common compared to the girl who walks in behind them. The girl is wearing Camille's red gown, and her hair falls to her shoulders in soft spiral curls. She's tiny, but she holds her shoulders strong as she scans the ballroom.

Jem lets out a shuddering breath and can only stare, awestruck, at Sophie. He takes every single inch of her in, but focuses only on her beautiful smile. His face betrays every emotion he would ever want to hide from Will. Jem might love Will, but he's madly in love with Sophie, and there is no longer any need to deny it.

Sophie sees Jem and she smiles brightly. Jem's expression changes quickly from the look of a man in love, to the look of a man who just saw his worst nightmare come true. Awful, painful realization dawns on his face as his eyes fill with tears. He covers his mouth with his hand and shakes his head in abject horror. "No."

"Jem," Will says.

"No," Jem gasps, "I can't do this." Without another word, Jem drops his cocktail glass onto a table and walks out the door.

For a second, the ballroom is silent, then conversation resumes. Sophie looks crestfallen but she manages to walk down the steps. Tessa looks at Will, her expression pinched and nervous, and Will shrugs. Magnus grabs Will by the arm.

"Go to him," Magnus instructs.

Will nods quickly, pulls another cocktail off the tray of a passing waiter, and hurries out the door after Jem, who is walking quickly through the garden. Will catches up but Jem hurries down the candle lit paths, batting rose brambles away, and tearfully begs Will to just leave him alone.

"You're making a fool of yourself," Will says. Jem continues walking, at least until he gets to a fence at the end of the garden.

There is an apple tree back here with a bench beneath it. Will and Jem used to spend many spring and summer days beneath this tree, lying close together and looking up at the sky as they held hands. It could be argued that they fell in love back here, but then again, they fell in love all over the Institute.

Now, Jem falls onto a wrought iron bench beneath the tree. He buries his head in his hands. He could be sobbing; Will isn't sure. Will rests the ice cold glass of alcohol against Jem's hand. Jem takes it and drinks it. He swallows, gasps, puts his head back down, and tangles his fingers into his hair.

"She's beautiful!" Jem exclaims. "I always knew she was, but… I didn't expect her to show up to the ball looking like…"

"Cinderella?" Will asks. Jem spits on the ground and mutters a curse.

"I will not be her prince," Jem says. "I cannot be her prince. I can't marry her, Will. She deserves a man who won't take her virtue and die six months later. I can't leave her with heartbreak."

"No, you can't live your life waiting to say goodbye," Will says, "You have a beautiful girl in there, waiting for you, and the only thing she is worried about is whether or not you are going to walk back in, escort her to the table, and dance the night away with her. Think about tonight because that is all Sophie is thinking about."

"No. She's thinking about everyone staring at her," Jem says. "Looking that way tonight, she could dance with any man in there. I should let her. She could have a fiancé by tomorrow. She should have no obligations to me."

"She wants to dance with you," Will says. "She's loved you for a long time, Jem. Don't bother denying it. You made her dreams come true when you asked her to the ball. You can't ask her to this and then tell her to find someone else. Not when she only wants you."

"I can't do this," Jem says.

"Stop saying you can't. You can," Will says. "Now get in there. You've left her waiting long enough." Jem looks up at Will, his eyes full of tears. Will puts a hand out and Jem takes it. He allows himself to be pulled to his feet, across the garden, and back into the ballroom.

Sophie is walking over to the table that Charlotte and Henry are already seated at. Jem hurries over and touches her on the hand before he pulls out her chair and sits beside her. Jem says something to Sophie and they each laugh, all tension suddenly forgotten.

A hand touches Will on the shoulder and Will turns to see Magnus there. Magnus nods to an area filled with shadows just before the door to outside. He disappears from view and Will follows. He feels Magnus's hands on his waist, drawing him close. Will falls against Magnus's body and Magnus nuzzles his mouth against Will's neck for just a second as he gently rubs the back of Will's neck. Will closes his eyes and for a moment, allows himself to relax in Magnus's arms. They separate quickly, and Will leads the way to the table.

* * *

><p>Dinner is tedious, boring, and eight courses long. Will proceeds to drink several glasses of wine, as do Magnus and Jem, and midway through the salad course, Magnus rests a hand on Will thigh and asks where the men's room is.<p>

"I'll show you," Will says. "We can't have a warlock wandering about the Institute. Not with their poor sense of direction." Tessa shakes her head, but she smiles.

Will leads Magnus from the ballroom and down the hallway. They do stop by the men's room, and when Magnus walks out, Will is waiting for him.

"Can we talk?" Magnus asks.

"We're going to miss the soup," Will replies. He starts back to the ballroom but feels Magnus's hand on his elbow.

"Fuck the soup," Magnus mumbles. "I want you in my arms for more than a second. Can you give me that?"

Will casts a look down the dark hallway to the ballroom, and then pulls Magnus into an empty room. The room is pitch black, save for a bit of light coming beneath the door, and Will manages to find Magnus's body quite easily. Magnus rests his head on Will's shoulder and breathes gently against Will's neck. Will slides his hands up to the middle of Magnus's back and breathes in Magnus's warm vanilla scent.

"But I heard the soup is pattypan squash with celery and basil," Will says.

"I wish it was two days from now," Magnus says. "I think you should just eat before you come over, because once I start taking your clothes off, I'm going to be unable to stop. I couldn't stop thinking about you today. You are going to love Paris." Magnus rakes his fingers down Will's back, but Will pushes him away.

"Will?" Magnus whispers. His hand reaches out in the darkness but Will evades him. "Will. What's the matter?"

"How was Ragnor?" Will asks. His tone is more vindictive than intended but it does the trick. Magnus takes a sharp intake of breath and doesn't respond immediately.

"If you're asking me if anything happened between Ragnor and I, yes, something happened. No, I didn't kiss him or do anything sexual with him. Did I have a chance to? Yes. Did I stop things before it went too far? You bet I did. Why? Because I would rather be with you than him. You're my future, he's my past," Magnus says. "And how was your day?"

"I was with Jem," Will whispers. "We were in bed together. He was on top of me. It wasn't sex… he just wanted me but… I still want you. I just love him, Magnus. I love him so very much and I can't just sever all ties with him."

"I understand," Magnus says. "Will." He reaches out, finally finds Will, and pulls him close. "Do you want to end things between us? I won't be angry."

"No. I don't want to end things. I want to make it through this challenge and I want to be with you," Will says. "I want you to give me two more days, Magnus. I want you to give us two more days."

"You can have as many days as you want," Magnus says. "I'm not going anywhere, Will. When I said I'm here for you, I meant it."

* * *

><p>They return to the table after a few minutes. Jem gives Will an angry gaze and claims that they nearly missed the soup course. Will pours another glass of wine, slurps a sip of it, and claims to hate pattypan squash soup. Jem turns back to his conversation with Sophie as Magnus begins to eat his soup.<p>

"Magnus has a job offer in Paris," Tessa announces. Will chokes on his wine and Magnus looks up, a spoonful of soup close to his lips. He puts the spoon back down and smiles.

"Paris!" Jem exclaims. "Whatever would you be doing in Paris?" Will pours Jem a glass of water and pushes it over to him.

"It's just a job offer," Magnus says. "I would be an assistant to the High Warlock. I would be working more with managing magic around mundanes, as well as traveling for the High Warlock when he is unable to."

"That sounds wonderful," Henry remarks. "When will you be taking the position?"

"I might not. I might stay here," Magnus says. "I love London, and, like Paris… London has a lot to offer me."

* * *

><p>After dinner there are speeches, toasts, and then the cake is cut. Then, the dancing begins. The bride and groom have a traditional waltz, after which everyone is welcomed to the dance floor. Charlotte and Henry leave the table and are soon lost in a swirl of colors on the dance floor.<p>

Will tops off his glass of wine, and then offers the rest of the bottle to a pouting Jessamine. Jem claims he needs to use the bathroom again, stands up, and leaves the table. Sophie fiddles with her silverware and Will wonders if she's getting the urge to clean something. Tessa yawns but quickly stifles it. Will looks at her and frowns.

"We have a long night ahead of us, Miss Gray," Will says. "Best eat your cake." Tessa sinks her fork into a thick slice of icing covered fruit cake and resentfully has a bite.

Magnus offers Sophie a smile and compliments her appearance. Sophie blushes and puts her silverware into a neat little row.

Jem returns to the table and watches the dancing along with Sophie, who has taken to nervously straightening everything on the table within reach. Jem attempts small talk with her, but all conversational options have been exhausted between them.

Tessa makes it halfway through her fruitcake and passes it to Will, who eats it, using her fork, and waits until he's finished before claiming it was just like kissing her, only much, much sweeter.

Magnus clears his throat and pours a bit more wine in his glass. He drinks it, then wipes his hands on a napkin, and turns to Tessa.

"May I have this dance?" Magnus asks.

Tessa looks taken aback for a moment. Then she puts her hand in his and Magnus leads her to the dance floor.

"Sophie, would you like to dance?" Jem asks. Sophie nods quickly and eagerly follows Jem to the dance floor, leaving only Will and Jessamine still sitting at the table. For a few minutes, Will and Jessamine each sip wine and try not to make eye contact. It is suddenly glaringly obvious that they are the two people in the room no one wants to dance with.

Jessamine sniffs and fixes her hair. Will drinks his wine. The music increases in tempo and everyone laughs as they dance. Even the bride and groom are in the middle of everything, dancing close, looking madly in love. Tessa and Magnus had found one another to be suitable dance partners, and look as though they might have to be drug off the dance floor.

After a few minutes, Will can no longer take it.

"Have you ever seen something as humorous as fools in love?" Will asks, sidling over to a chair beside Jessamine. "Look at them all. Convinced that love is an ingredient needed for happiness."

"Why are you speaking to me?" Jessamine asks.

"Well, when I see a pretty girl sitting all alone at a party, I have to at least make her feel welcome," Will offers. "I always feel like we could have been friends, Jessamine."

"I'm not sure why you feel that way," Jessamine says, "I've made it perfectly clear to you several times over that I am in no way interested in you, not even as a friend."

"That sour deposition towards people who only want to help you will never catch you a husband," Will says. "Between you and I, you have future spinster written all over you." Jessamine gasps and slams her hand down on the table. Will quickly places his hand on top of hers. "May I propose something?"

"No," Jessamine snaps. Will smiles kindly.

"Jessamine, you've made it clear that what you want is a husband. Perhaps if you saw me as more than just the silly boy you grew up with, you would see that I would very much like a beautiful girl to do nothing but sit around and… occasionally allow me to be intimate with her, if I may. Perhaps you and I could come to some sort of agreement."

"I beg your pardon, Mr. Herondale," Jessamine says.

"Miss Lovelace," Will continues, his voice oozing sensuality, "If you would just open your eyes to the possibilities, you would see that you and I have many things in common. Neither of us like people very much. We also have little regard for family. We each have a thirst for blood. May I be frank, dear?"

"Be whoever you want," Jessamine says.

"You and I could have the perfect marriage. You would be able to sit at home, deal with the children as you wish, and I could provide for you. All I would ask is that in order for me to remain faithful, I would expect sexual relations with you… at least twice a day," Will says.

"Is this really what gets girls into bed with you?" Jessamine asks.

"I only tell them what they want to hear," Will replies. "For example, sometimes, you frighten me. You are so strong and you don't even realize it. You have so much potential to be an amazing warrior as well as an amazing wife and mother. When I think of Boadica, Tessa isn't the first woman to come to mind. You are."

Jessamine looks slightly taken aback, but it only lasts for a moment. She smiles to Will a smile full of ice and simmering anger.

"You're only telling me what I want to hear," Jessamine says. Will lifts a finger and twirls a curl of her hair around it. She doesn't pull away. Her brown eyes look into Will's eyes. They show vulnerability.

"But don't you want the truth, Miss Lovelace?" Will whispers. "Why would I lie to you about yourself?" Jessamine opens her mouth, as if to say something, but then, her expression changes.

"Takes your hands off me," Jessamine says. Will pulls his hands away and waves his fingers around.

"I could make you very happy, if only you would allow me," Will says. Jessamine's wine glass sits close to Will's hand, still half full of wine. He takes it and drinks it. "We don't have to have a very big wedding. We don't even have to stay in London; I can give you the world, Jessamine."

"Yes, but I would still have to be married to you, and that is a fate worse than death," Jessamine says. Gabriel walks over, dressed in his formal black tuxedo. He offers a hand to Jessamine, and she takes it, his eyes alight and her smile excited. Gabriel leads Jessamine onto the dance floor, and they begin to waltz with the other couples.

Will shreds a bright purple flower from the centerpiece and smears the petals across the table cloth.

"Forever alone," he mumbles.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review! Here's a teaser:<strong>

The sight of Jem in so much pain hurts Will, so he turns his head to see Magnus crying as well.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! Please enjoy. I own none of these characters. Also, this chapter does get violent at the end. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

After finishing the bottle of wine, Will stands up, crosses the ballroom, finds the first pretty girl not dancing with someone, and asks her to dance. Next, he finds the most unfortunate looking girl and dances with her. He begins to play games, asking some girls to dance twice while barely looking at others.

At times, the music swells to a roaring crescendo, and Will feels sweat drip down his back as he twirls his currant partner across the floor. Other times, the music is slow, steady, and Will spends the song filling the girl's head with stories and dreams until she looks very much in love with him. Then he finds someone else to dance with and doesn't look at the other girl for the rest of the night. When the girls finally catch on, it becomes more of a thrill, because it is improper for them to turn him down, despite Will giving them every reason to. The girls all squirm, but eventually give Will what he wants: a dance.

Jem dances mainly with Sophie, but also dances with Tessa. Magnus catches Will's eye often while they are on the dance floor. He's there, usually with Tessa, but Will makes it a point to not want to be near him. Finally, Will takes a break and goes to the table for some water. Jem follows.

"Can I talk to you?" Jem asks.

"Of course," Will says.

Jem turns away without another word and walks toward the door leading out to the garden. Will follows, barely giving Magnus a nod, before he walks outside and catches up with Jem. Jem takes a candle off of a garden table and begins walking through the rows of rose brushes, and Will follows him all the way through the garden, back to the apple tree and bench.

Jem sets the candle on the bench and turns to Will. The candle fills the area they are in with yellow light and makes the places not touched by the light appear in tones of black and blue. They are only fifty feet from the Institute, but back here, hidden behind bushes, it feels like they are in their own little world. Jem takes Will's hands in his own, steps close enough to have their bodies touching, and looks up into Will's eyes.

"Yes," Jem whispers. His eyes fill with tears but he smiles. "Yes, Will. I'll go to Paris with you."

Will feels his heart stop for just a second, and his stomach fills with dread. Jem has given him the perfect answer, the right answer, but it's not the answer Will wanted him to give. If Jem had only said no, Will wouldn't have to worry about being with Magnus, moving to Paris, or loving a man that would live forever. But Jem has said yes.

"No," Will says.

"You don't want me with you?" Jem asks.

"No. I mean, yes, I want you there, Jem," Will says. "But what about Sophie?" Jem looks away, towards the Institute, where Sophie is probably waiting, and then back at Will.

"She's going to be fine," Jem says, "It will be better this way, Will. She'll find someone better for her then I would ever be. This is for the best. You and I will be together in Paris. Charlotte and Henry won't let you go without me, and… you're bound to me, Will. Where you go, I must follow."

"I don't have to go," Will says.

"I want to go," Jem says. Will is silent. "So it's settled. Tell Magnus our good news. I'll mention to Charlotte that I want to move to Paris and that you will be coming with me. I'll be ready to go whenever you are."

"I don't want you to change your life for me," Will says.

"Will, I love you, and if going to Paris with Magnus is going to make you happy, I won't stand in your way," Jem states. "Besides, I've heard that the French make good pastries, and you know how much I love sweets." Will thinks that sweets are a stupid reason to uproot an entire life and move it to Paris, but he doesn't say that.

Jem rubs his hands against Will's chest and places several feather light kisses on Will's cheeks. It takes everything in Will to not turn his head and kiss Jem on the lips. There is so much happiness in this moment and sadness as well, as they are each leaving their home behind. But they are together, and that is all that matters.

They remain in one another's arms for a few minutes, their faces close together, before they separate, blow out the candle, and cross the garden back to the Institute.

"Oh, one more thing," Jem says as they approach the door. "Do you think you could cover for me? Sophie and I want to go upstairs together."

"I'll tell Charlotte you aren't feeling well," Will says, "She won't notice Sophie's absence. What do you plan to do with her?" Jem gives Will a little smile. He might have blushed but Will can't see it in the half light of the garden.

"I'm going to let her know how much I love her," Jem says. "Will." He takes Will by the arm and pulls him aside as a girl walk out of the Institute. She's still dressed in a purple gown.

"Good evening, Mr. Herondale," she says. Will nods and gives the girl a puzzled look. "Do you remember me? We were introduced at a party at the Wayland's manor house?" Will shakes his head.

"Will, you remember her," Jem says. "It's Ambriel, remember? Gabriel's sister?"

"I'm sorry. I don't remember you. I danced with a lot of girls that night, if I recall," Will says. "You'll have to forgive me." Ambriel appears shocked. Gabriel comes up behind her and touches her on the arm.

"Constance is looking for you. She's going to toss the bouquet," Gabriel says. "The girl who catches it is said to be the next to marry. You should be in there." Gabriel notices Will and puts a protective hand around Ambriel. "Mr. Herondale has done nothing to hurt you, has he?"

"Of course not," Ambriel says, "he never…"

"The closet," Will says. "That's where you remember me from."

Jem jumps between Will and Gabriel as Gabriel pushes Ambriel into the ballroom. Gabriel pulls his coat to the side and Will sees the glint of steel at Gabriel's hip.

"I will not hesitate to use it against you," Gabriel says.

"Bringing a knife to a wedding, Gabriel, have you lost your mind?" Jem asks.

"It would give me no greater pleasure then to end your life in the slowest and most painful way possible," Gabriel says. "You're a monster, Herondale. You're the worst sort of demon because you pray on the innocent and defenseless."

"Oh, I don't recall you being innocent," Will says with a chuckle. "How long has it been, darling? You're clearly need some sort of release, walking around, showing off your knife… it's obvious. You're in need of love and affection."

Gabriel takes a few steps towards Will but Jem holds them apart. Someone calls for Gabriel and he stares at Will for a second more before turning around and walking back into the ballroom.

"I think we need to talk to Henry," Jem says.

"He's all talk, Jem. You know that. He's wanted to end my life for six months now, and yet I am still alive," Will says. "Go upstairs with Sophie. Stop worrying about Gabriel. Last I checked he plans on remaining in London." Jem shakes his head but then looks into the ballroom, searching for Sophie.

"Do not dance with Tessa. Do not dance with Jessamine. Do not cause unnecessary problems," Jem says. "Spend the rest of the evening with Magnus, making plans for when we get to Paris. Do as I say, Will."

"I'll just come upstairs with you and Sophie," Will suggests. "You did tell me you might need guidance."

"I understand the basics," Jem says. "I'll see you in the morning."

Jem leads Will into the ballroom. Sophie is waiting at the table, watching as Tessa and Jessamine join the girls on the dance floor awaiting the bouquet toss. All of the attention in the room is focused on the bouquet, and no one sees Jem sneak out the door with Sophie. The bouquet is thrown and Jessamine catches it. Will gives her a knowing smile.

* * *

><p>The dancing resumes soon after. It is very late, nearly two in the morning. Coffee is served and the cake is again offered. Will gets a piece and takes a seat with Magnus. Tessa is dancing with another Lightwood, and Jessamine is sitting at the Lightwood's table, talking with Gabriel.<p>

"Oh, a flower," Will says. He snakes his fork over to Magnus's plate and steals a bit of icing formed into a purple flower.

"It's warm in here," Magnus remarks. "Maybe we should go for a walk in the garden. That seems that is the place to be." Will swallows the forkfull of icing and studies Magnus's slice of cake, avoiding Magnus's eyes.

"Jem and I used to spend our afternoons beneath an apple tree in the far left corner. It was just one of the many places we would go to be alone," Will says. He finds Magnus's cake far more appetizing then his own and steals more icing from it. "It's where he told me he would come with me to Paris."

Magnus drops his fork and turns to Will, a smile on his face.

"You're coming with me to Paris?" Magnus asks.

"Yes. And Jem is coming as well. We'll make a smashing trio," Will says. "The remainder of the plans is up to you. I'm sure you'll find us suitable living quarters." Magnus nods, quickly.

"So I'll accept the job," He says.

"As you wish," Will says. He pulls Magnus's plate over and finishes the cake.

Tessa returns to the table and sits beside Will and Magnus. Different sorts of music is being played, as it is late enough for everyone at the ball to finally relax and have a good time. It isn't long before the string section of the orchestra begins to play the long, sensual notes of a tango. Will turns to Tessa and offers his hand.

"May I have this dance?" Will asks.

"I don't know how to tango," Tessa replies, and Will smiles.

"You'll learn. Follow my lead. You can do that, right?" Will asks. Tessa smiles and takes Will's hand. He pulls her from her seat and onto the dance floor. "The steps are just slow, slow, quick, quick, slow."

"How do you know how to tango?" Tessa asks.

"I learned at school," Will replies. He smiles and looks into her eyes and watches as Tessa falls for him, just the slightest bit. Will thinks that maybe he is a predator, preying on innocent souls, but he can't help but love the wanting look girls give him, Tessa included.

The orchestra begins to play faster and Will draws Tessa closer to him. He falls into step, and after a stumble, Tessa grips Will's right hand in hers, straightens her posture, looks Will in the eyes, and begins to follow his steps. Will pulls Tessa closer to him, bringing her waist within a few inches of his.

"This is a bit inappropriate," Tessa says, but the close proximity helps her to follow Will's lead even better. The fingers on her left hand dig into Will's back.

"Relax," Will says, "what's a tango without a little spice?" Tessa shrugs and keeps dancing. Their bodies come together as Tessa gives herself over to Will, letting him lead them across the floor. "You're a wonderful dancer, Miss Gray."

"Magnus is an excellent teacher. Where has Jem gone?" Tessa asks.

"Upstairs with Sophie," Will says. "Does that sting, Miss Gray?"

Tessa barely flinches. "No. I'm happy for them," she says, "Jem deserves to be in love."

"Spoken like a true romantic," Will scoffs, and he spins them around in a step. Tessa stays with him, not losing a beat.

"Have you ever been in love?" Tessa asks.

"Have you ever seen the underside of the comforter on my bed?" Will replies. "You always were a forward girl, Tess." Tessa smiles, briefly, and Will smiles back, looking into her deep grey eyes and enjoying her serene gaze.

There are other eyes on him as well. Gabriel sits at a table just off the dance floor, watching Will's every move, as Jessamine sits beside him, awkwardly attempting conversation. Charlotte is holding a drink in her hand and looking nervous. The dance floor is nearly empty, as only a few couples are attempting the tango.

"I have been in love once before," Will says.

"With Cecily?" Tessa asks. Will releases Tessa's left hand and spins her hard across the floor, away from him, but he pulls her back. Tessa's hips hit Will's and she gasps as she squares her shoulder again.

"Never," Will says, and he steps forward, forcing Tessa backward across the dance floor, "say that name in my presence ever again."

"Mr. Herondale," Tessa says, sweetly.

"Miss Gray," Will says, and he spins her again. This time, When Tessa spins back into his arms, her back hits his chest and she makes the most delightful exhale. Will spins her again and she faces him once more.

"Excuse me, Will, but can I cut in?" Henry asks, tapping Will on the shoulder.

"That's hardly appropriate, given that you're a married man and Tessa is an underage girl," Will replies. "Besides, Henry, it would be a sin for Tess to waste a perfectly good tango on someone with no sense of rhythm."

"I'm having fun, Henry," Tessa says. Will puts a hand on her waist and spins with her across the floor, away from Henry.

"Now you've done it," Will says.

"Said the word fun in your presence?"

Will's mouth turns up at the sides in an unexpected smile. "No. You told Henry you were having fun with me."

"But I am," Tessa says. "I do enjoy managing you." Will snorts and spins Tessa again, catching Gabriel's glare before he pulls Tessa back to him. Tessa's hips bump against Will's, and Will gives her a seductive little smile.

"Had you agreed to the offer I made to you on the roof, you could have done far more than manage me," Will says, "In fact, I could have taught you all sorts of dances. Dances no one else would ever have to see, save for you and I." Tessa jerks her hand away from Will's and slaps him across the face so hard, the ballroom goes quiet, but then Will realizes that his ear is ringing. Tessa storms off the dance floor and Will follows. "Miss Gray!"

"I'm done with you!" Tessa cries.

"No, please, wait. I'm sorry," Will says, catching up with Tessa just as she hurries from the ballroom. "Tessa, please." Something in his pained tone must hit a nerve, because Tessa stops and turns around. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm around you."

"You don't know what to do?" Tessa asks. "What about me?"

"What?" Will asks.

"I liked you and you just threw it back in my face again and again," Tessa cries. "You're selfish and careless with people. But the most horrible, horrible thing of all is that you are selfish and careless with yourself. What happened to you to make you feel the need to sabotage every bit of love and happiness you could have?" Will gapes at Tessa.

"You're absolutely right," Will says. "I am selfish and careless and I don't deserve to be happy. You deserve more. You need to go back to the reception or up to your room but I want left alone now. I'm not fit for you, Tessa. I never was."

"It's always what you want," Tessa snaps. She gathers her skirts in her hands and hurries down the corridor.

Will watches her go, until he can no longer hear her heels hitting the floor. Then he follows, only, instead of going upstairs, Will picks another corridor and begins walking, and when he gets to the end of it, he keeps on walking.

The Institute has miles of corridors. While Will could never truly be lost, tonight, he tries to get lost within the long, dark, forgotten passageways. It is perfectly quiet and Will walks along for a while with his eyes closed. He opens them to find that he can see the same as he can when his eyes are shut. He has his witch light stone, as well as his stele, and he could draw a night vision rune if he really wanted to, but what Will wants now is for the blackness to press in on all sides of him, until it finally snuffs him out. Maybe then, he could die in a corner and finally have some peace from the inner turmoil raging through his body.

Will stops, falls against the wall, and removes his flask from his coat pocket. He has a sip of warm gin by the light of his stone, and is screwing the lid back onto the flask when he hears footsteps. Will grips the stone and it glows a bit brighter, but when he turns around and calls out, no one answers, so Will keeps walking.

Tessa was right. Will sabotaged every chance he could have at love and happiness. The truth was, he didn't deserve to be loved or happy. Will had done awful things before. He had made his parent's worst nightmare come true. No wonder they had turned their backs on him. He had come to London, hoping that his past could remain in the past, but of course, everyone knew what he had done. He wore his sin like a scarlet letter across his chest.

He had been given six merciful months of being nothing but a young Shadowhunter orphan before Jem arrived. Will took to him as a brother almost instantly, and he thought, maybe, by loving this boy, he could atone for his sins. It took four months of frolicking in the garden, sitting beside Jem in the library, and crawling in bed with him on the nights he cried for his parents before Will came to a startling realization. He was thirteen, and he was falling in love for the first time not with a girl, not with Charlotte, but with the boy who lay in his arms almost every night.

One week after Will discovered his feelings, Jem nearly drowned in the bathtub during an attack and remained unconscious for three days after. A month after that, Jem nearly died, again, at the bottom of the stairs, and Will was forced to realize that he might have left his parent's home in Wales, but he was still being punished for his sins. Everything he loved would eventually die.

But not Magnus. No, Magnus would live forever, and it should have been a comfort for Will, to have someone who wanted to be with him who would always be there, but Will didn't want that either, because sooner or later, Will would make a grievous mistake and Magnus wouldn't want to be with him anymore, anyway. Best to just end things with Magnus before anyone got hurt. Magnus wanted to love him, but made people foolish and irrational and Will had built his life on the need to be smart and rational. Love made men do stupid, stupid things, and Will refused to pursue such foolish endeavors.

Jem planned to change his life for Will, and Magnus wanted to bring him to Paris, and he cared so much for Will that he asked that Will bring the one person who could step between them. Magnus and Jem loved Will each in their own way, but Will felt undeserving of their love.

Will stops and has another sip from his flask, and this time, he hears breathing. Will pulls the flask from his lips and turns slowly. There's a blinding streak of light, and an explosion of pain just above Will's right eye. What feels like a rock slams into his face and clatters to the floor, causing Will to drop his witch light. He bends over to retrieve it, wondering about his drunken state, and that's when an upper cut to the face shatters Will's nose and knocks the breath from his lungs.

Will gasps, runs into the wall, and falls to the floor. There's another painful explosion right between his legs; Will gags and clutches himself, trying to see in the dark, but all he sees is blackness. There's heat on his face. Someone has knelt beside him.

"Where is she?" a voice asks.

"Who?" Will manages.

"Tessa Gray."

"Upstairs. In her room."

"YOU FUCKING LIAR!"

Will would recognize that screech anywhere. He feels a sharp toed dress shoe slam into his ribs. There's the splintering crack of bones breaking, and Will falls onto his side, gasping like a fish out of water for his next breath.

"You're a real man, Gabriel," Will says. Knuckles hit his face again, this time, cracking his front teeth. Aching pain radiates from Will's nose. "Beating a man already down. That's so like you." Gabriel punches Will again and Will feels his bottom lip split in half.

"You raped my sister," Gabriel says. He grabs Will by the hair and slams his head off the floor, causing Will's jaw to crack off the stone floor. There's warmth now, all over the side of Will's face, and he can't see anything. He feels like he's drowning. "You raped Tessa Gray. You raped…" Will feels the dress shoe, again, kicking him in the ribs, over and over again. "HOW MANY GIRLS, WILL?"

"Many, many girls," Will says. "They all wanted it. Every last one of them." Gabriel screams and kicks Will more, until finally Will can feel nothing but the cold floor beneath him.

"You aren't worth the next painful breathe you take," Gabriel says. He spits in Will's face, and then drops something soft onto his face. Gloves. "Go fuck yourself, Herondale."

"But it's your turn," Will offers.

Gabriel yells something inhuman and Will feels the cold bite of a blade rip through the skin and muscle on his side, dealing a decisive blow. Heat sprays from the wound as Gabriel pulls the knife back out, and Will finally lets out a whimpering sob, certain this is the end. Then Gabriel is running away. His footsteps pound through Will's mind until there is silence once more.

Will opens his eyes, finds some witch light, lights it, and sees his stele just out of reach. Will tries to reach it, once, then twice, and then, he succumbs to a cold and lonely blackness.

* * *

><p>What has to be hours later, Will hears more footsteps, followed by a curse and someone calling his name. There are cold puddles of blood around him and his clothes are soaked with it. He's shivering and that hurts. Then, he feels warmth against his skin. Someone scoops him into their arms and lifts him from the floor. He smells sandalwood and vanilla and feels thick wool, rough against his tender face. The person begins walking, and the motion hurts Will's mind. He tries to open his eyes but finds he can't. He wants to throw up but isn't sure how. There are footsteps on stone, heavy breathing, and then, somewhere far above him, Magnus's tear choked voice whispering, "Stay with me, Will. You are going to be just fine."<p>

Will feels his mind cease to think as he's lulled back into unconscious by Magnus's scent. He's roused again when there is the noise of bone against wood and Magnus calling out for someone, a hysterical edge to his voice. A door creaks open.

"Wha-" the word is stolen from Jem's mouth. "By the Angel."

Will feels pressure in his face and he coughs hard enough to feel something warm and wet come from his mouth and run down his chin.

"Get him on the bed. Keep him on his side. I don't want the blood going into his lungs," Jem says. Will feels something soft beneath his back and sees pink light through his eye lids. "What happened?"

"He disappeared from the ballroom and I went looking for him. I found him like this," Magnus says. "I got the bleeding to stop but I can't heal his injuries. I can't… there are limits to my powers."

"Of course," Jem says. "Get his shirt off. Go to the bathroom and bring me a wet wash cloth. I can't see all that's wrong with… all the blood." Jem finally sounds frightened. Will wants to reach for him, wants to say it's going to be okay, but he's not sure how. He feels cold air on his chest followed by the sting of a healing rune burning into his skin. "Who did this?"

"I don't know," Magnus replies. Jem mumbles something.

There is a stinging pain on the side of Will's head, and after a few moments, the swelling around Will's eyes goes down, enabling Will to finally open his eyes. Magnus is washing Will's body with warm water, and Jem is following him, drawing runes every few inches. Jem is sobbing, and the sight of him in so much pain hurts Will, so he turns his head to see Magnus crying as well. Will looks down at his body to see it stained red with fresh blood and purple bruises.

The warm water hits a painful place on Will's stomach and burns as it drips into his skin. Will cries out, pulling away, but Jem holds him down with one hand and with the other touches Will's stomach, gently, until his fingers hit that same painful spot and Will screams again. Jem's face takes on a shade of white.

"Get me Henry," Jem whispers. "Now, please." Magnus hurries from the room. Jem looks at the door, back at Will, and finally lets out a gasping sob. "I should have been there. That's the job of a parabatai! To be there! I should have stayed with you!"

Will closes his eyes and reaches his hand out. He finally catches Jem's right hand and grips it tightly.

"I knew this was going to happen," Jem says. His fingers are sticky with blood. "I should have put the Mark of Cain on you when I had the chance." Will opens his eyes and looks up at Jem, who is still holding his stele.

"The Mark?" Will asks. He tries to protest, but something tugs at his mind, and a moment later, he blacks out once again.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Please review! Also, you are allowed to tell me what you think about any of this. <strong>**Thanks for reading. Here is a teaser!**

"I don't think we can go together to Paris," Magnus says.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

In Will's dream, he's walking down a dark hallway when his feet are pulled out from under him. He feels himself falling with nothing to grab on to. He screams and throws his arms out to the sides. Then there's pressure on his chest and a quiet voice whispering. Will opens his eyes and finds himself flat on his back in bed, with Jem's body curled against his.

"You screamed," Jem mumbles. Will turns his head to see Magnus beside the bed. Magnus looks at Will then averts his eyes, and Will is sure he has done something wrong. It must have something to do with Jem lying in bed with him.

Will attempts to ask for water but his voice comes out raspy and nearly gone, but Jem understands and brings a glass of ice water to Will's lips. Will drinks some and lays his head back on the pillow. His vision is swimming and he feels sick. He wants to roll over, to hold Jem close, and to go back to sleep. He wants Charlotte to bring him chicken soup the way she used to, before he was old enough to bear the application of healing runes.

"Where's Tessa?" Will asks. "Mortmain… Tessa… demon…" There is an itch at Will's side and he reaches up to scratch it, but Jem holds Will's hand down and Will forgets about the itch after a moment.

"You were attacked. Someone hurt you pretty badly," Magnus says. "Do you know who?" Will shakes his head. Jem frowns and nods to Magnus. Will runs his hand down the front of Jem's chest and teases his fingers into the front of Magnus's shirt.

"This is nice. My boys. One is in my bed, the other, beside it," Will says. Jem climbs out of Will's bed and sits beside it.

"I'll be going now," Magnus says, standing up. "I'm sure you're probably hungry."

"Don't go," Will says. He grabs Magnus by the front of his shirt, shocked to see he's wearing what he wore to the wedding. "Mags, please don't go."

"I'm going to get some clothes and freshen up. I'll stop back later," Magnus says. He moves some hair from Will's forehead and glances to the door.

"No. Stay. I have a whole closet of clothes, and you can freshen up in my bathroom. Just don't leave me, Mags," Will whispers. "Please, Magnus, just stay."

"I need to go. I'll stop back in a little while," Magnus says. "Jem, could you show me to the door?" Jem nods and stands up. He's acting the way he did last night before the ball- like the world is pressing down onto his shoulders. Jem puts a hand on Magnus's arm and guides him to the door.

"Don't get out of bed," Jem states, and then walks with Magnus out of the room.

"Mags," Will says. He puts his hand out, reaching for Magnus, but Magnus never turns around. "MAGS!"

When it's clear no one is coming back, Will climbs from the bed, walks across the room, goes into the bathroom, and pours a hot bath. He undresses and looks over his body. He still covered with bruises and his skin is stained with dried blood. His face is various shades of black, blue, and purple. There's a massive bruise close to his waist that surrounds a one inch wide silver toned scar. Will gets light headed, so he covers his body with more iratzes and climbs into the bathtub.

"Told you not to leave the bed," Jem says, breezing in. "Told you to not dance with Tessa. Told you to do nothing to irritate Gabriel and yet you did."

"Maybe you should stop telling me what to do," Will says.

"You nearly bled to death on my bed last night. I'm not fighting with you," Jem says. "Maybe you'll stay out of trouble once we get to Paris." He gets a cup and begins to pour water on Will's head. Jem removes his shirt and begins to gently wash Will's hair, paying careful attention to the many bumps and cuts in Will's head.

"How was Sophie?" Will asks.

"Fine," Jem replies. Will clears his throat and remains silent. "We made love, if that is what you must know. Obviously, we didn't spend the night together. She went back to her room and I was just getting to sleep when Magnus showed up with you. Last night was frightening, Will. I haven't been that scared for you in a long time. I thought you were going to die and... I thought I was going to be all alone."

"I'm fine," Will insists. Jem shakes his head and rinses Will's hair. Will finishes bathing, then stands up and accepts a towel. He gets dressed and walks back into the room.

Someone has changed the sheets on the bed but Will refuses to get back into bed. Charlotte stops by to look him over, and then she leaves. Sophie brings food up. While she's in the room she barely looks at Jem, and Jem keeps from looking at her. She tells Will to feel better soon and then leaves the room as Will sits down on the bed to eat. Jem sits beside him and doesn't speak.

When the meal is finished, Jem takes the plates and silverware down to the kitchen. Will finishes getting dressed, then puts on his shoes and leaves the room. He's halfway down the steps when Jem looks up from the ground floor and scowls.

"I told you, stay in bed!" Jem exclaims.

"My staying in bed isn't going to keep me alive any more than you staying in bed would keep you alive," Will says. "I want fresh air, forgive me." Will walks the rest of the way down the steps, goes outside and Jem follows. They sit on the front steps of the Institute.

The sky is overcast and threatening rain. It appears to be early afternoon, and most everyone that came for the wedding is already gone. Will isn't sure what happened after he fainted last night and oddly enough he doesn't feel like asking. It is easier to put the whole incident behind him and pretend it never happened.

Jem sits beside him and looks down at the thin blades of grass on the ground. Will reaches over and takes his hand.

"Why won't you tell me what happened?" Jem asks. "Why did you let it happen? You should have fought, Will." Will stares out of the Institute's front gates and doesn't say anything. "I blame myself. I should have been there."

"You had nothing to do with this," Will mumbles.

"It doesn't matter. You blame yourself for everything. I'll blame myself for this. If I hadn't wanted to make love to Sophie, you wouldn't have been stabbed in the stomach," Jem says.

"Now, now, you can't take all the credit," Will says. "I was the one stupid and drunk enough to go for a walk."

"Honestly, Will, I don't know how I would live without you," Jem says. "I can't be like Magnus. I can't make grand gestures and sweep you off your feet and ask you to come with me to Paris. I can't. London is my home and I will follow you to Paris but..." He sees something and looks up, and Will follows his gaze to the front gates, where Magnus is walking through. "Will." Will turns to Jem and sees that Jem's eyes are filled with sudden tears. "When we go to Paris... Promise me I won't lose you in Paris."

"I promise, you'll always have me," Will says. "Always." He kisses Jem on the cheek and nuzzles his nose against Jem's ear. Jem closes his eyes and rubs the side of his face back against Will, and for a moment, all Will can do is breathe in the scent of Jem.

"I love you," Jem mumbles.

"And I love you," Will says. "No matter what." Jem smiles and moves away from Will. A blush has crept into his cheeks and it only deepens as Magnus walks up and stands before them, a bouquet of bright flowers in his hand. "For me?"

"No… I thought…" Magnus begins.

"You're right. I hate flowers as much as a man could hate flowers. And cut flowers… that's beauty cut down in it's prime," Will says. "That lovely gesture only foreshadows death." Magnus looks down at the flowers, then back at Jem and Will.

"Are you feeling up to a walk?" Magnus asks. "I have to take these to a cemetery just up the street, and… Will, we need to talk."

"By all means, I can't wait to have this conversation," Will says. He stands up and Magnus smiles at him. "What?"

"You might have finally grasped sarcasm," Magnus says. "I'm proud of you." Will smiles back, studying the warlock's eyes, until Magnus pulls his gaze away. Jem stands up, clears his throat, and finds a reason to touch Will on the hand.

"No over exerting yourself," Jem says. Will looks back to him.

"When have I ever listened to you?" he asks.

"I would demand to come with you, but I need to talk to Sophie," Jem says.

"Sophie?" Will asks.

"Yes. Sophie. I need to... you know..."

Will looks at Jem, and then back at Magnus. He knows what Jem needs to do and he knows that he can stop it. Jem and Sophie could be happy and Magnus already said he would stay in London. Will looks down at the ground for a moment. He can't believe that he is suddenly caring about the maids feelings, but there are Jem's feelings mixed in as well.

"Don't blame yourself," Jem mumbles. "It was inevitable. She deserves a husband. I'm doing this for her."

"Tread lightly," Will says. Jem folds his arms and nods.

"Do not be out all afternoon. You need your rest,"Jem says Will rolls his eyes and Jem walks up the front steps of the Institute.

* * *

><p>Magnus leads the way from the Institute and Will follows him. They go to the cemetery and sneak inside the front gates. For a little while, they walk along cobblestone paths. Darker clouds have moved in and rain begins to sprinkle down, but the rain is warm and pleasant. Magnus keeps looking over at Will, concerned, and finally he reaches over and hooks his arm around Will's arm.<p>

"I'm not going to just start bleeding, you know," Will says. "I'm just bruised but I'm nearly healed. You and Jem can drop the nervous angel routine. I promise you, I'll live to fight again."

"I know you can't stand it when people care about you, but last night, you weren't the one who had to carry the body of the man you love upstairs and you didn't have to stand by while someone else had to save him. You were there, Will, but you really weren't. So forgive me for still feeling terrified for you!" Magnus exclaims.

"You're forgiven," Will says. He takes Magnus's hand and places it inside his coat, against his waist. Will can feel heat against his bruised skin, and it feels good. He steps closer to Magnus, so that their hips are pressed together. "Thank you for finding me last night. I might have died without you."

"You might just be better off without me," Magnus mumbles. "Will…"

Will looks down at the flowers in Magnus's hands. He pretends he's not standing in the middle of the cemetery, because a cemetery is an awful place to hear bad news.

"I don't think we can go together to Paris," Magnus says. "I don't think we can be together. I don't think I am… what you need." He touches Will on the cheek and gives him a sad smile. "Jem is being a gentleman and is stepping aside so that Sophie can find a man who can give her a life Jem cannot. I should do the same for you."

Will shakes his head and looks up. "What did I do wrong?"

"You did nothing wrong," Magnus insists. "You almost died last night. I held you in my arms and there was nothing I could do for you to make you better. Jem can heal you. I can only keep you from dying. What if you got sick and there was nothing I could do to make you better? What if you fell down the steps and cracked your head open? I can't grab your stele and draw an iratze."

"So I'll grab my stele and draw an iratze," Will says.

"Like you did last night?" Magnus asks. "You were lying in a puddle of blood and your stele was two feet away. You were incapable of healing yourself. There will come a time when you are again incapable of something, and I will be unable to help you. I'm a warlock, Will, and you're a Shadowhunter, and we don't match up."

"You don't know that," Will says. "It could work. You were the one who wanted to try."

"I know it won't work, because…" Magnus pulls his eyes away and looks at the flowers he holds. "I didn't work before."

"Didn't work?" Will asks, "what didn't work?"

"Everything," Magnus replies. "Nothing worked. I only thought it might." Magnus looks down the long cemetery paths, and a look of exhaustion appears on his face, just for a moment. His face is the face of a man who has seen everything once before and has grown weary of it. "Let me show you something."

Magnus leads Will down another path and finally stops in front of a large marble vault. The rain has turned into a steady drizzle and Will thinks they are just seeking shelter. They go inside the vault to find a simple room lined with small doors, each containing the name of the person buried behind them. Magnus takes his bouquet of flowers and places it on the floor next to one of the small doors, then brushes away some leaves and dirt which have found their way into the vault.

"Her name was Tabitha. Tabitha Vayne," Magnus says. Will nods and slips his hands into his pockets. "She was my wife."

"I beg your pardon?" Will asks. He looks around the vault but sees no evidence of runes or symbols of magic.

"She was, as you would say, a mundane. Human. A mortal," Magnus says. "We should have never…" He sits down on a bench and gazes at the inscription on the door. "She was seventeen when we met. The year was 1771. She came from a poor fisherman's family. I don't know how she could even see me, but she did, and from the moment I laid eyes on her… everything seemed right. The obstacles between us didn't matter because I had finally found someone I wanted to spend a life time with."

"I wasn't thinking about the future, for once, I was thinking about the present," Magnus continues. "She wanted to get married, and I wanted to make her happy, so we married a few months after we met and settled into a comfortable life right here in London. I was able to provide her and her family with everything they would need, and in return… they were a family to me. Do you have any idea… never mind."

"Tell me," Will says.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to not have a family?" Magnus asks. "To walk this world with no one to come home to? No one, Will. I went years without anyone to share even a meal with. It was a very lonely existence, and when I found Tabby… I thought I might be able to be happy with her. I should have found someone like me." Magnus looks back at the crypt wall.

"What happened?" Will asks.

"She wanted the one thing I couldn't give her," Magnus says. "I'm sterile, Will. You know that." Magnus shakes his head. Will had never once thought about being sterile. He always figured that one day he might have a son, but he wasn't planning on it. Magnus looked near tears, and Will wondered how he could be so intimate with someone and never realize how many of their hopes and desires were still hidden beneath the surface.

Magnus reaches up and places his hand against the small door bearing Tabitha's name as he continues to speak. "But it was Tabby's right to have children, of course, and we tried, Will. We tried every day for a year, and when she was sleeping I tried all sorts of magic on her and myself, but I couldn't… I just couldn't get her pregnant, and the one time I did, oh, it was a disaster." The tears in Magnus's eyes have begun to drip down his cheeks. They land in the dust and mud on the crypt floor.

"Right after we lost the baby, I wrote up a note, went out into a rainstorm, and never came back. The family believed I jumped into the Thames and was washed out to sea, but since Tabby and I were married, she got all of my money, so she was able to continue to live the life she was accustomed to. A year after my supposed death, she remarried, and ten months after that, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. For the next six years, I watched her from afar. She had three more children and died giving birth to the last one. This life I lead is cruel, Will. It's cruel to the people I am with and it's cruel to myself. You won't be alive in a hundred years. I will be."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Will asks.

"Because you have a right to know," Magnus replies. "Because I should have told this to Tabitha but I didn't. You can't help who you love, but you can help what you give to them, and you have to know that I can't give you everything you might want. If our dreams don't match up… why, it's silly to even dream together then!"

"It's not silly to dream!" Will exclaims. "Sure, some dreams are silly, and some aren't, but if there were no dreams to be had, life wouldn't be worth living!"

"I didn't expect that out of you," Magnus whispers. "I didn't think you had dreams."

"Dreams get us from one awful minute to the next," Will says. "My life is full of awful moments, but the only reason I haven't stabbed myself in the chest yet is because I have to believe that one day, things might be better. I dream of one day being happy and loved, Magnus, and just because I never see that actually happening, it doesn't mean to don't want it to!"

Magnus stands up and falls into Will's arms. He buries his face in Will's neck and doesn't speak.

"One day you're going to meet someone that will take your breath away. He'll be amazing. He'll see you the way you want to be seen," Will says. "Love is a dream worth having, so keep dreaming, Magnus." Magnus gives Will a smile full of love and affection.

"Come on," Magnus says. He takes Will's hand and pulls him from the vault.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Review as you wish. Thank you for your continued support. Here is a teaser!<strong>

"He doesn't want to be with me, he wants to be with you!"


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the reviews. Enjoy this chapter! Remember, I own nothing but this plot. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

Outside the vault, it is raining harder, and as both Magnus and Will have regrettably not worn hats, they get drenched almost immediately. Magnus pulls Will over to a large marble and concrete mausoleum. It is square in shape, with a roof to cover the four walls filled with niches.

Ivy creeps up the side of stone pillars which hold up the roof like trees in a forest of marble. Water pours between the columns, creating large waterfalls and obscuring the field of graves from Magnus and Will's view. Magnus finds a large marble bench covered by roof that is dry and sits down on it. Will sits beside him, shivering.

"Can't you just charm yourself dry?" Will asks.

"I can dry myself, but not you, and that's not very fair," Magnus says. "We can Portal back to the Institute, but…" Will shakes his head, pulls his coat off, and drops it onto the bench beside him. Magnus does the same with his coat, and Will stares out into the graveyard. The rain is pouring down harder now, and fog is lifting off the ground.

"I'm fine," Will says. Magnus lifts his hand and gently roughs up Will's hair to shake out the raindrops. Will closes his eyes and nearly falls against Magnus, so he opens them and smiles serenely.

"Can't have you getting sick," Magnus says.

Magnus looks Will in the eyes, his lips parted, before he takes a shuddering breath, places a hand on either side of Will's face, and presses his fever hot lips to Will's mouth.

Will moans in surprise but shivers and wraps his arms around Magnus. He closes his eyes and returns the kiss by slipping his tongue into Magnus's mouth. Magnus sinks his fingers into the hair on the back of Will's head and scratches Will's scalp. Will feels every cell in his body wake up, like they had lay dormant for far too long. He hears water pounding onto the marble floor and he realizes the sound is actually his heart pounding in his ears.

"You lose," Will whispers. "You said you wouldn't kiss anyone for seven days and it's only been six."

"Fuck the challenge, Herondale," Magnus says. "I can't wait another second to just-"

Magnus stands up and pulls Will to his feet. He pulls Will's waist tight against his and they kiss deeply, tasting the flavors of one another, feeling simmering desire, then separate. Magnus reaches up and begins to unbutton his shirt and Will does the same, finding his fingers shaking. He only gets one button open in the time it takes Magnus to open every button on his shirt. Will looks at Magnus, asking for help, and feels himself blush because he's feeling so clumsy. Being this close to Magnus is making it very hard for Will to function right now. He knows what is to be done but he can't do it because for the first time in his life he's never done it this way before.

Magnus tosses his shirt down on the bench and removes his undershirt as well, baring his cinnamon colored skin to Will for the first time in nearly a week. Will takes in the sight of it, and a fleeting smile crosses his face. Magnus kisses Will again, nibbling gently at his lower lip, and removes Will's shirt. He puts a hand to Will's lower back, drops Will's shirt to the bench, and then kisses Will on the neck. Will runs a hand up Magnus's spine but Magnus steps away and bends over to remove his muddy boots. Will does the same, and they each remove their socks before joining together again.

Will runs his hands down Magnus's sides to the waist band of his trousers. He unbuttons the button on them and pulls them down. Magnus removes them and they join their shirts and coats on the bench. Magnus unbuttons Will's trousers, only, he doesn't pull them down, he just slips his hand inside, like he couldn't wait another second to touch Will this intimately.

Will gasps, nearly falling, and puts an arm around Magnus's shoulders. Will's lips hit Magnus's, and then they are kissing again, so roughly, their teeth occasionally bump. Magnus is rubbing Will inside of his trousers, stroking until Will feels his erection pressing painfully against the front of his pants. Will thinks he should tell Magnus to stop, but there is nothing Will wants more, in this moment, then to feel Magnus's skin against his own.

Magnus withdraws his hand from Will's pants and finally pulls them down. He lays down on the nest their clothes have made and stretches out, completely naked and looking like the statue of some Greek god that has come to life. Will's head spins when Magnus looks up, bites his lip, and holds a hand out to Will beckoning Will after him. Will hastily drops his trousers to the floor, kicks them away, and lies beside Magnus on the bench. They are kissing again a second later, completely naked, with nothing left to keep their skin separate.

Magnus pulls Will on top of him and wraps his arms around Will. As they kiss, their eyes open to see and close to feel. Their bodies rub together, creating heat and friction. Magnus spreads his legs and Will lays between them, his chest against Magnus's, and he can feel their hearts beating in unison.

"Come here," Magnus whispers. Will looks up and smiles. He climbs up Magnus's body and straddles Magnus's upper chest as the warlock reclines on his back. Magnus takes Will's erection and slips it into his mouth. His lips close around it and Will moans in shock, as his eyes close. The noise of his moan echoes off the cold marble around them but is swallowed by a crack of thunder. A cold breeze blows through the mausoleum and quickly dries the thin layer of sweat across Will's chest.

Magnus begins to suck generously on Will's swollen member. Will breaks out into a cold sweat and pounding pulsations start in his lower stomach. He grabs Magnus's hair and leans over, shuddering, certain that Magnus has already made him come, and now, he's just taking every last bit of Will's strength. Will can still feel each and every bit of torture Magnus is putting him through but he just wants more.

"Magnus," Will gasps, "Please… please… suck it."

Magnus laughs with his mouth closed; Will can feel the vibrations all the way inside of him. Magnus's tongue probes at the skin on the underside of Will's erection; Will shivers and slips himself further into Magnus's mouth, and the warlock's eyes roll back. His lips twitch and smile, so Will closes his eyes and slides himself in and out, feeling the tip of his shaft rubbing the roof of Magnus's mouth.

Magnus reaches around, grabs Will by the back of the thighs, and pulls Will further into him. He grips Will's erection with his hand, making a circle with his thumb and index finger, and he slips the circle up and down Will's soaking wet erection. He strokes tightly at first, then loose, then tight again, and Will pushes himself against Magnus's hand, feeling a crashing wave of need building inside of him.

Then there is the feeling of Magnus taking something from Will, or perhaps, it's just slipping from his body. Will tries desperately to pull away and stop it, but all of the nerves in his body ignite and his skin bursts into goose bumps and by then it's too late. Will looks down, and sees Magnus's eyes open and shocked. The words "I'm ready" can barely be heard before Will cries out and comes hard, shooting hot, white, semen down the warlock's throat.

Magnus closes his eyes and gently sucks until there is nothing left to swallow. Will's legs are shaking as he pulls himself from Magnus's mouth and lays down beside him. The feeling of need is still there, and Magnus quenches that desire when he takes Will in his arms and holds the shivering boy against his warm skin.

Will gives Magnus a smile and kisses his lips, thinking how good it is just to kiss him.

For a very long while, they only lay together, kissing and running their hands up one another's bodies. Will thinks that at some point, he'll grow tired of kissing and touching Magnus, but that point never comes. Magnus finds so many interesting places all over Will's body to put his hands, and Will finds spots on Magnus's body that cause Magnus to literally cease to do anything but lay on the bench and moan. But the best is yet to come.

In time, Will feels himself stiffen again, and so he lays down between Magnus's legs once more and rests his head against Magnus's right hip. Magnus is beyond begging; he is enduring his feeling of arousal with quiet moans and fleeting, blissful smiles. Will doesn't bother asking Magnus what he wants, because it is obvious.

Magnus pulls his knees apart and braces he feet on the bench. Will licks his first two fingers until they are slick, and then gently slips them inside of Magnus. Magnus pulls away in one second and pushes down in another. His muscles clench tight around Will's fingers as his eyes close and his breathing accelerates.

"Too much?" Will asks. Magnus shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair. Will begins to move his fingers around, twisting them, pulling them out a little, and then pushing them back in. When he feels Magnus relaxing despite the intrusion, Will begins to stroke a place deep inside of Magnus.

Magnus object with a soft cry but pulls his knees apart, completely opening himself up to Will. Magnus looks down, eyes pleading for more. Will smirks, begins at the tip of Magnus's cock, and nibbles with his teeth down, all way to the base, and then back up again. A drop of fluid appears at the slit and Will licks it away, tasting Magnus.

"I need you inside me," Magnus begs. "Please, Will. Please." Will looks up and sees Magnus shivering and trying to catch his breath, and he lays a hand on Magnus's stomach to feel is rock hard with building tension.

"Breathe," Will says, and Magnus nods and tries to.

"Will," Magnus whispers. "I… I need it."

"You aren't ready yet," Will replies, "I don't want to hurt you. I won't hurt you." He continues gently fingering Magnus as he licks slowly and rubs Magnus's stomach with his other hand. When Will slips another finger inside of Magnus, Magnus barely flinches.

Time passes slowly. Will watches Magnus's body shiver with excitement. His moans start soft and become louder, bouncing off the stone and silence, and Will starts to become so aroused by the warlock's desire, he fears he might come before Magnus does.

"Will," Magnus moans, "Will, I can't do this without you." Will pulls his fingers out and kneels between Magnus's legs. He kisses Magnus on the lips and runs a hand though his dark hair. With the other hand, Will takes his erection and slips it inside of Magnus.

It doesn't feel forced at all; Will slides in as though this was the most natural thing in the world. He feels Magnus stretching, accommodating, and then Will is all the way inside. Magnus gasps and exhales. He smiles and kisses Will, offering his own tongue and keeping Will's tongue in his mouth as well. Will closes his eyes and thrusts, once, gently.

Magnus sinks his nails into Will's sides. His hands are sweaty and trembling with nerves. A crash of thunder shakes the air around them, and a cold breeze blows through the mausoleum. Magnus pulls his legs up higher and pushes Will down, in, deeper. Magnus wraps his arms around Will as they resume kissing.

Will begins to thrust more, gently at first, then harder. He glances down once to see their bodies pressed together, pale skin on tan skin, and he thinks it's the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Magnus smiles and closes his eyes, but a tear escapes and slips down the side of his face.

"Does it hurt?" Will asks. More tears come from Magnus's eyes.

"No," Magnus says, "It's you." Will kisses his cheek and Magnus runs a hand up Will's back. "Take your time. This rain isn't letting up, is it?"

Will smiles and continues to push into Magnus, then pull back out, building up friction between their bodies and gnawing, aching, desire in Will's stomach. The muscles in Magnus's body relax and contract; he raises his shoulders off the bench, and then lets them down again. It feels right to be with Magnus with this way, even in this setting. There is no fear or pain, just love and desire, and Will cares only about those two things, and nothing else.

They kiss passionately, using teeth and tongues to pour themselves into one another, separate for gasped breathes, then continue kissing.

"I love you," Will whispers, his face just centimeters from Magnus's. Magnus's eyes are shining brightly. His lips are raw but even that doesn't matter.

"I love you to," Magnus says. He slides a hand down Will's side, tracing his fingers over the still sore scar on Will's waist. When Will begins to thrust deeper, Magnus is ready for him.

Magnus's hips slam off the bench, and Will reaches down, grabbing Magnus there. Magnus's hand joins Will's on his hip, pulling Will's body more into his. Will feels his lower stomach throb as heat builds inside of him. His chest is bright red and feels hot to the touch. He wants to hold on just a little longer; and he wants to come and start all over again.

Will is drenched in sweat and slipping against Magnus's body only adds to his arousal. He feels himself stiffen even more. Magnus feels it, and hisses, putting his head back as he moans Will's name again and again. Shaking fingers grip Will's backside, pulling him in deeper. Magnus looks down and shivers, shaking his head, and groans. He reaches down and starts to slide his hand up and down his own erection. Will tries to think about anything but Magnus pleasuring himself but can't.

"Magnus," Will whimpers. "I'm…"

"Come for me," Magnus says. "Come on, Will, come for me." He grips Will's shoulders in his hands. Will thrusts deeper and Magnus's breathing takes on a strained tone.

Will feels something flooding into his stomach, followed by the first shock of semen spurting from himself and into Magnus. For a heart stopping second, Will feels like he just might die. Then he comes again, harder this time, and he sinks his teeth into the skin over Magnus's collar bone. Will thrusts, once more, and feels Magnus's body release as well.

Will exhales, he drops his head onto Magnus's chest, and for a long while, they lay there allowing the wet breeze cool their sweaty bodies. Will pulls out and falls to Magnus's side as Magnus finds a coat and draws it over their shivering bodies. Will looks up at the ceiling of white marble broken up by cracks of black, and then turns back to Magnus.

"I meant what I said," Will whispers.

"Me to," Magnus says. He kisses Will. "But I lied about something else."

"You've had sex in the last six days?" Will asks.

"No. I could have used a spell on you to get you dry," Magnus says, "But I like you wet." Will looks down at his chest, covered with sweat and laughs until it hurts.

* * *

><p>It's nearly dark when Magnus finally walks with Will back to the Institute. They stop many, many times on the way to kiss and touch and dodge rain drops. When Will finally climbs the front steps to the door, Magnus presses him against the exterior of the Institute and they kiss more, reaching their hands inside one another's coats, holding one another closer than ever before.<p>

"You should come inside," Will mumbles.

"And do what?" Magnus asks. "I can't come to your room. Eating dinner with everyone feels awkward… I'll tell you what. Tomorrow, you and I will figure out what is going to happen next and go from there."

"You mean with Paris?" Will asks.

"I mean with Paris, and us, and you and Jem…" Magnus says, fiddling with a button on Will's coat. "You know it can't be simple, Will. Going to Paris means that our lives are joining together. Plus, I doubt Charlotte and Henry will be happy with this decision…" Will thinks about Jem, and how Jem was ending things with Sophie just so he could be with Will. Magnus and Will were so invested in Will's happiness, they were each changing their lives for him.

Will leans back against the Institute and studies Magnus's eyes. Magnus puts his hands on Will's waist and kisses him, but Will doesn't kiss back.

"What's the matter?" Magnus whispers. Will shakes his head. "We don't have to leave London. We can stay right here. I love you, Will, and you love me, and I want to be with you. Anyway. Anyhow. Anywhere."

"I have you. Nothing is wrong," Will says. He smiles and slips his hands beneath Magnus's shirt. Magnus kisses him and bumps his nose against Will's nose.

"Just think about everything, okay? Paris and us and everything. We'll talk in the morning," Magnus says.

"I'll see you then," Will says with a smile.

Magnus pulls himself away from Will, turns his back, and walks down the steps. He makes the mistake of looking back, and then he runs back up the steps, and kisses Will again.

"I love you Will," Magnus says. He nearly sounds choked up. "I love you so much."

"Love you to," Will says. His tone is calm, collected, and doesn't match Magnus's frenzied tone.

"Please be okay," Magnus whispers, "Please, Will. Be okay." Will nods and looks away from Magnus, focusing on the Institute's front gates. When he looks back a moment later, Magnus is gone.

Will walks inside and goes straight upstairs. He's just walking down the hall to his room when Sophie bursts out of Jem's room. She's dressed in her maid's uniform but holds her hat in her hands. Her face is bright red and she's sobbing. Will is just about to ask what is wrong when Sophie lashes out with her hand and slaps Will across the face.

"He's no better than you!" Sophie cries. "He told me that he loves you and he's loved you for a long time and he wants to go with you and Magnus to Paris. He doesn't want to be with me, he wants to be with you!"

Will looks inside Jem's room to see Jem standing beside his bed, arms folded. He's crying and occasionally brushes a tear away, but his expression is set into a scowl.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Will?" Sophie demands. Jem nods to Will, and Will turns back to Sophie.

"I love him," Will says. "I don't expect you to understand why or how, just know that I do. If he wants to be with me, then I want to be with him."

Sophie's heart breaks before Will's very eyes. She cries out in pain and wraps her arms around her body. She nearly falls to the floor but rights herself. She's making a spectacle of herself and she has to know it, but Jem is right, for sometimes, true love can make you cry. Henry and Charlotte appear at the end of the hallway and begin hurrying towards Will and Sophie, but Will steps into Jem's room and locks the door behind himself. Sophie's explanation is all they will need.

Jem finishes wiping his tears away and looks up at Will with a steely gaze in his eyes.

"I had to break her heart so that she wouldn't love me until the very end. If she hates me now, losing me won't hurt so bad, and I can't bear to see her hurt," Jem says. "It's better this way."

"You want to be with me?" Will asks.

"Always," Jem replies. "To Paris, then?"

"To Paris."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Review as you wish. No teaser, I'm sorry.<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note: I have a big thank you for all of you who have been reading and enjoying Leave the Lights Off. It was (mostly) a pleasure to write. This will be the last regular chapter, but there is also an epilogue and with the epilogue, I'll also have a sneak peak of the sequel to Leave the Lights Off which should explain what that story will be about. Thank you again for reviewing, reading, and enjoying, and please feel free to review.**

**Major Author's Note: Someone dies in this chapter. I'm sorry.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

After Sophie explained everything that had happened, Henry and Charlotte summoned Will and Jem for two hours of intense interrogation. They sat by side and denied everything but Charlotte had seen far too much and everything was suddenly making sense to her. The first time Henry had used to word "lovers" Will was certain that Charlotte was going to strike one of them. His cheek still stung from Sophie's slap. Will didn't speak unless spoken to, while Jem lied convincingly until Charlotte finally asked what she was to do with two parabatai who had defied an unspoken rule by tainting their bond with immoral love.

"What's so wrong with me loving him?" Will asks.

"It's not why you love him, it's how," Henry says. "William. If anyone found out about this… this…."

"Love?" Will asks. "Call it what it is, Henry. I don't go around calling Charlotte the woman who tolerates only you." Charlotte gasps and nearly leaps from her chair. Henry holds her back with calming words.

"You could always ban us from the Institute," Jem suggests.

Charlotte sits back in her chair and shakes her head.

"How long has this been going on?" she asks.

"Years," Jem replies. He gives Will the smile Will always loved on him, until now, anyway. "I've loved him for years."

"Go to your rooms. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night. If I catch wind of either of you doing anything… unsavory… I won't hesitate to send one of you to the Silent City for the night," Charlotte states.

Jem stands up and offers a hand to Will, who ignores it and stands up. They walk out of the drawing room and down the hallway. Tessa sees them together and turns away. Jem pushes Will against the wall and presses his lips to Will's.

"Stop," Will mumbles. "You've done enough."

"I did this for you," Jem says.

Henry walks out of the drawing room and clears his throat when he sees Jem's hands on Will's chest. Will looks at Jem and shakes his head.

"I wish you hadn't," Will whispers. He walks into his room, closes the door, and crawls fully dressed into bed. When Jem picks up his violin and begins to play slow, mournful, heart breaking music, Will covers his head with a pillow and wishes for sleep that won't come easily.

* * *

><p>Jem has an attack that night and Will goes to him as usual. He finds Jem laying on the floor beside his bed shaking with a seizure. His eyes are open but unseeing, and he screams for Will over and over again. This time, Will can't get the attack to stop, keep Jem from drowning in his own blood, or make the silver haired boy well again. Charlotte assists, holding Jem's head stationary as Will's administers a dose of medicine, but she's silent and judgmental. As soon as the attack is finished she sees Will from the room, but early the next morning, she opens the door to find Will in bed, sleeping with his arms tight around Jem.<p>

They spend most of the day together. They make it easy on Charlotte by always being visible. They read in the library, sitting across the table from one another, ignoring Tessa and Magnus, who are studying as well. They spend meals a reasonable distance apart from one another. They never speak of Paris.

Magnus finally corners Will in the afternoon and says he's taking him to dinner. Magnus questions the strained state of the Institute's current affairs but Will says is that everything is on track for Paris. Magnus kisses Will on the cheek, says he will accept Ragnor's job offer that evening, and tells Will to be ready for dinner at eight. Will smiles, nods, kisses Magnus passionately, and says he will meet him outside at that time.

That evening, Will and Jem sit down to a quiet dinner only Jem eats at. Will spends the time picking at his food, and then, when he has a moment alone with Jem, he tells him that he's hungry for an apple. Will takes a candle from the Sanctuary and carries it out to the garden. When Jem walks beneath the apple tree, Will is already sitting on the bench, bathed in candle light.

"Sit with me," Will says. Jem sits beside him on the bench.

"Half the Enclave is here. Something about Mortmain," Jem says.

"I don't care," Will says. He rests a hand on Jem's cheek and kisses Jem on the lips. Jem kisses back and sinks his fingers into Will's shirt. They share breathes until Jem pulls his lips from Will's and kisses down the side of Will's neck. Will rubs his hands against Jem's chest, and then slips his fingers under his shirt, lightly caressing Jems's skin until Jem's arousal is evident.

Jem unbuttons a few buttons on Will's shirt and kisses his way across Will's collar bones. Will continues to lightly touch Jem's skin and subtly coaxes Jem closer and closer, until Jem lays back onto the arm of the bench and Will goes with him. Jem runs a hand through Will's hair, looks into Will's eyes, and licks at Will's lips before they join together once again.

It feels so very good to be sitting beneath the tree, kissing the way they used to, long before girls or Magnus were on their minds. It had been so long since they kissed and touched and Will finds that for as amazing as Magnus was yesterday, Jem feels so good today. Will knows now that could have never picked between the two of them.

After a few minutes of kissing, Will takes Jem's hand and presses it to his trousers, where his own desire has made an appearance. Jem smiles and shakes his head.

"That's going to have to wait until Paris," Jem says.

"What's going to happen if we're caught together? I've run away before and I'll do it again. That's what you wanted, Jem, was to run away with me. Right?" Will says. Jem looks away but Will kisses down the side of Jem's neck, teasing at the rune beneath Jem's ear with his tongue. "I want you, Jem. I want you to do what you wanted to the other day."

"You want me to… give?" Jem asks. He closes his eyes as Will pushes his hand into the open collar of his shirt.

"I want you inside of me," Will mumbles. "Please, Jem… I want to feel you."

Jem lets out a shuddering breath. He turns to Will and resumes kissing his lips, but Jem's hand is active on the front of Will's trousers. He begins squeezing Will's erection through fabric but quickly needs the feeling of warm, tight skin in his hand. Jem carefully unbuttons Will's trousers and puts a hand inside, but that's suddenly no longer enough, for now, he needs to taste.

Jem kneels on the ground in front of Will, and Will pulls Jem's shirt over his head. Will kicks his shoes off and Jem pulls Will's pants down, pushes Will's shirt out of the way, and takes Will's length into his mouth.

The devious look in Jem's eyes as licks and bites at the head of Will's member is almost too much for Will to bear. He pushes Jem off and slides off the bench, onto the ground beside Jem. They pull their remaining clothes off and toss them onto the ground. Will takes Jem's hand and begins licking his index and middle finger, as his other hand reaches down and begins to stroke Jem. When Jem's fingers are sufficiently wet, Will directs Jem's hand to his backside and Jem goes willingly. He strokes the skin beneath Will's tailbone, then goes further.

"I don't know what to do," Jem mumbles.

"You knew what to do the other day," Will replies.

"I hurt you the other day," Jem says.

"You won't hurt me this time," Will says. "I want it this time." Jem smiles and keeps kissing Will as his touching becomes more probing. He slips one finger into Will after a minute, and then adds another finger.

Jem becomes like clay in Will's hands the longer they delay the inevitable. His desperation is contagious and it's not long before Will is turning his back to Jem. Jem pulls his fingers away and Will misses the feeling of fullness for a second, but then Jem inhales, exhales, and buries himself deep inside of Will.

Will falls forward onto his hands as Jem's erection seems to slam into the base of his spine, sending shockwaves of pain and pleasure up his back. Will spreads his knees and pushes back, bracing himself. Jem grips him by the sides, withdraws the slightest bit, and slides back in again. Jem feels strong this way, pulling Will into him, and Will wonders why he never let Jem do this before.

Their breathing syncs in time with the movement of their hips. Once all of the pain is gone and only the pleasure remains, Will sits back on Jem's lap and moves his body against Jem's as Jem strokes him with one hand and touches his chest with the other. They separate without a word, and Will lays down on the ground. He spreads his legs and Jem moves between them. Jem hooks an arm around Will knee and pushes it up. This time, when he slips back inside, it feels like there is nothing that could physically pull them apart.

Jem kisses Will's lips. His chest is shiny with sweat in the candle light. Will sucks on each of Jem's nipples until Jem begs him to stop. Jem's hair gets in Will's eyes so Will holds it back. He looks into Jem's eyes and finds himself mumbling "I love you" over and over again.

Their bodies nearly unravel multiple times, but each manages to hold off until Jem begins to gasp like he's in pain. He comes deep inside of Will, looking down, his mouth open as he thrusts despite the throbs of his orgasm. When Jem is finally spent, he keeps pushing inside of Will, and all of the flooding heat in Will's stomach finally pushes him over to edge as well.

Will digs his heels into Jem's back and finally comes between them. Jem cries out as he feels rhythmic pulsations on his own spent member. Jem falls against Will and Will wraps his arms around Jem, holding the shivering boy against him.

"I love you," Will says.

"I love you to," Jem replies.

Getting dressed becomes optional. Wiping away the evidence of their love becomes unnecessary. They're lying forehead to forehead, staring into one another's eyes, when a twig snaps and Magnus walks beneath the apple tree.

Jem gasps and sits up, backing quickly away from Will. Magnus doesn't look at Jem- Jem is really an afterthought at this point- and instead looks at Will's nude form still on the ground. Jem stands up, grabs his pants, and pulls them on.

"Will," Magnus whispers, "Will, what are you doing?" He looks confused and his eyes dart over to Jem, then back to Will. Will almost starts to feel bad. He yawns and sits up; he finds his pants and pulls them on. Jem's putting on his shirt, shaking his head, not looking at Magnus.

"What does it look like?" Will asks. "You didn't expect me to be faithful to you, did you? I thought that was just for that challenge. I thought you were inviting Jem and I to Paris so we could have threesomes whenever we wanted. Jem is a very big part of my life, you know that."

Magnus shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair.

"You had sex with him but you were with me little more than 24 hours ago. Have you nothing to say for yourself?" Magnus asks. Will shrugs. "We were going to Paris, Will. We were in love and we were going to Paris and… Jem was coming with us as your parabatai. I thought… I thought I meant something to you, Will."

"I just wanted to win the challenge," Will says. "Going to Paris is just the icing on the cake."

"It wasn't just a stupid challenge!" Magnus cries, "I loved you, Will!"

"I'm sorry for that," Will states. "As I said before, you should have known better."

"I thought I knew you and I thought I could love you and I thought you could love me back," Magnus says. "I was wrong, Will. I was so wrong."

There is a flash of light, and Magnus is gone.

Jem is standing beside Will, and when Will turns to him, Jem shoves him away.

"How could you?" Jem demands. "You had everything going for you, and yet you refuse to let anyone love you. Admit it, Will. You wanted to be with him, but he loved you and you still believe that my love is the only love you deserve. You deserve to be happy but you refuse to be."

"He was just a warlock," Will says. "He's going to live for a long time. He'll find love."

"Yes, but you already had, and it wasn't with me," Jem says. "You can't use me as an excuse not to find love." Will shrugs. "I thought there was a limit to your self loathing. Now, I see that there is not. I can't be with you Will, not this way, ever again." Jem turns and walks away, leaving Will completely alone.

* * *

><p>Late that night, Will and Jem are called to go demon hunting. When Will walks into the locker room, Jem is already there, dropping his armor over his head. Will reaches over and buckles the straps over Jem's shoulders, and Jem gives him a rueful smile.<p>

"It took me a while, but I figured out why you did it," Jem says. "You would have rather broken Magnus and I both over hurting just one of us, because you knew if we went to Paris, you would still want to be with me, and that wasn't fair to him. Not when he loved you and…"

"I love you," Will says. "That's all that matters to me." Will turns his head and kisses Jem on the lips. Jem looks into Will's eyes.

"Did you at least love him?" Jem asks. He removes a weapons belt from his locker and puts it around his hips. Will pulls his shirt off and puts another one on. He considers Magnus and thinks about how, very briefly, they were able to share a fearless sort of love. Nothing bad would have even happened between them, and that was what Will had been afraid of. He felt incapable of maintaining such perfection. Sooner or later, Magnus would find a crack in the relationship and find Will suddenly unworthy of Paris.

"I said that I loved him, but I don't know," Will says. "I felt for him, a lot. He was wonderful to me. He was… perfect. But sometimes I fear that you might've ruined me for love, because I'll never love anyone the way I love you. When you die, I don't know how I will ever live without you."

"Life will go on," Jem says. He rests a hand on Will's back. "You'll love again. You're allowed to love, Will. If it was possible for me to release you, to tell you to chase Magnus down and beg him to take you back, I would, but…"

"I wouldn't chase him down. I only want you," Will says.

"Just promise me, if you get the chance to love someone that hard again… don't let it pass you by. Take the chance, because you'll never know how many you are going to get," Jem says. He kisses Will on the lips and remains close to him for a moment. "Get dressed. I'm going to wait in the hall. I don't want to upset Charlotte." Jem stands up and walks out of the room.

Will dresses quickly, collects his weapons, and leaves the locker room. Charlotte gives Will his usual satchel of provisions, states that Henry will wait up for them, and shows them to the door. This time, there is no one else to say goodbye to. Will feels bad for a second, then he takes Jem's hand and pulls him out the door.

* * *

><p>The night is typical, boring even. They walk the streets all night and kill many small demons, then take their break sitting on the railing of Blackfriar's Bridge, dangling their feet over the black water beneath them as they feed each other bits of bread and cheese. They talk about turning 18, spinning a globe, and picking their next destination. They talk about moving somewhere so hot, they have to spend every day swimming naked in a lagoon. They talk about moving somewhere so cold, they would have to spend every night snuggled together in front of a fire with steaming mugs of hot chocolate. They dream big, because these dreams are worth having.<p>

They break every rule in the book when a moment seizes them and they lock themselves in an abandoned room, strip off their weapons and armor, and make love as loudly as possible. They profess their love over and over again, because, after all, love is worth having.

They go back out and continue to hunt demons. Will has bad luck with his weapons. He loses a dagger to a Shax demon and a seraph blade to an Oni demon. Both times Jem comes to Will's rescue by knocking both demons out with a large sword, and he doesn't let Will forget it either.

They are covered with sweat and Will's cheek is bleeding just a bit when the sky begins to lighten, signaling that it's time to return home. They are across town from the Institute, and are both becoming exhausted when they are halfway there.

"So Madagascar, then?" Jem asks. He had proposed Madagascar earlier in the evening, and Will found himself warming up to a tropical destination.

"Madagascar," Will replies. Jem smiles and kicks at rocks as they walk along. When they come to Hyde Park, they debate crossing the park or going around it, but decide to cross it.

"I was thinking we could always visit China," Jem says, "We don't have to stay, but I would like to take you to the Shanghai Institute. It's built into the side of a mountain- you can see for miles."

"You miss your parents, don't you?" Will asks.

"Not a day goes by I don't think about them," Jem replies. "What about you? Don't answer if…"

"I would go to Wales," Will says. "My parents have a home in a town called Northcliff. It's a few stories tall, and when you went to the third floor, you could see the ocean. The air always smelled like cold salt water…. Not like it does here. It smelled the way air should smell." Jem inhales and scowls.

"Shanghai, then Wales, then Madagascar," he says, "Wait." Jem puts a hand across Will's chest and strains to listen. There is a cool, quiet breeze that brings with it the smell of rain and demon. "Will?"

Will scans the park, looking for demons, but he sees none. They are standing in the middle of a wide open field- the demon or demons could be anywhere. Jem pulls a sword from the holder across his back and they each walk a few steps apart. There is silence. Then, out of the corner of Will's eye, he sees a glowing red disk and hears a loud clicking noise less than six feet away from them.

Jem screams something- Will isn't sure what- and throws his body in front of Will's. Will sees silver among the darkness, and hears Jem hit the ground. Will pulls a blade from across his back, yells the name of an angel, and rushes at the eight legged demon that has finally made its presence known. Will plunges the blade into the demon's eight eyes and the demon folds in on itself. For something so large, it is so easily killed.

Then, there is more silence. The sky is quickly turning pink. Birds have begun to chirp but just below them, Will hears a low, quiet, painful moan. He drops the blade, turns around slowly, and this time his ears catch a tiny, hiccupping sob. A few feet away, Jem remains down on the ground, three poison darts buried in the armor across his chest.

Will cries out, runs to Jem, and kneels beside his fallen comrade. Jem manages to sit up for a second, then he nearly falls and Will catches him in his arms. There is no blood, just green poison dripped down the front of his armor. For just a second, Will tries to believe that somehow, the armor has protected Jem, but it has instead failed. Jem gasps and lifts his hand to touch the darts, but Will grabs Jem's hand and holds it down. In all of the times Will pictured this exact scene, he never thought it would look like this. Will's chest hurts as his own heart pounds, and he can only imagine how Jem must feel.

"Will," Jem whispers, tearfully, "It hurts!"

"It's going to be okay. I can pull them out," Will says, but then he remembers that Magnus had forceps to pull one dart out. "Let's just go to Magnus."

"No," Jem says. "Will…Maybe this is for the best." Jem clutches at the collar of Will's shirt and looks into Will's eyes. "We both know I'm going to die, and perhaps this is the best way. To die in battle…" Jem closes his eyes and lays his head back against Will's arm, "This is what we've dreamed of doing!"

"No, I have never had this dream," Will says. Holding Jem in his arms while Jem is injured beyond repair- this is a nightmare come true. Jem opens his eyes again. They are becoming bleached white with only a tiny pupil in the center. Jem's body is shivering, maybe with a seizure, perhaps in shock, but definitely not in fear. It is as though he hoped this might happen.

"Promise me something," Jem says, "Promise me you'll love again."

"Never," Will says. "I'm not doing this. Right now, I'm going to pick you up and take you home. You and I are a long way from goodbye." Jem laughs, once.

"So promise me anyway. Promise me, Will. You know I can't bear the thought of you being alone. Promise me you'll find love, if not for you, then for me," Jem says. "Promise me, Will." His eyes fill with tears and he starts to shiver harder. Jem starts to look frightened. Will can remember what this felt like, to lay on Magnus's kitchen table and think about how it really might be the end.

"I promise," Will says. "Just don't be scared. There's nothing to be afraid of." He takes Jem's hand and holds it tightly. "I promise I'll find someone to love me. Now I'm going to take you back to the Institute right now, and Charlotte is going to make you feel better, and you and I will love each other."

"I don't want to go back to the Institute. I want to go to China… I want to go home," Jem says. His eyes flicker a little, like he might slip into unconsciousness, and Will jostles Jem so that Jem's eyes open completely once more.

"I always loved you," Will says. "Even when I was with Magnus. Even when I was upset with you. Even when you thought I didn't love you anymore, I still did."

"I loved you to," Jem mumbles. He coughs and a little blood comes from his mouth. Will wipes it away with the cuff of his shirt and fears what might come next. He can't imagine holding Jem down during an attack, knowing he will die anyway. He wants Jem to go peacefully. "I wanted to go to Madagascar. I wanted to swim naked with you."

"Are you in pain?" Will asks.

"A bit," Jem replies. "My heart hurts. I just want to go to sleep now. Will you stay with me, just a little while? The shadows scare me." Jem smiles and turns his head so that his nose is pressed against Will's chest. Will holds him a bit tighter, then loosens his grip when he hears Jem's breathing become more strained.

There is so much left to say but Will doesn't know what to say. He keeps Jem in his arms, holding him close, and listens to Jem's breathing. It stops a few times but then starts again, and each breath starts to sound painful. Will finds himself rocking Jem and mumbling how much he loves him. Jem's breathing evens out again, and Will thinks, perhaps, this might not be the end.

"I love you," Will says.

"I love you to," Jem says. His voice is so strong, for a second, Will is sure that Jem has somehow beaten the poison. "Love. Love. I love…"

"I know," Will says. "I know, Jem, I love you to." Jem shakes his head. He's not saying to Will that he loves him, no, Jem is telling Will to love.

"Love," Jem says. His voice remains direct. "Love, Will. Love." Jem opens his eyes and squeezes the collar of Will's shirt tightly in his hand. He looks into Will's eyes.

"I love you," Will gasps and starts to cry hysterically, but Jem shakes his head and grabs Will's face.

"Love," Jem manages.

For a long time he doesn't speak while he still feels alive in Will's arms. Will continues to hold Jem, knowing in his heart that this can't really be the end. He bows his head close to Jem's open mouth and feels the feather soft kisses of Jem's lashes against his cheek as Jem blinks slower and slower.

"Go ahead," Will whispers. "Let me know what it's like."

"It's so bright and warm," Jem replies. "It's… Mother… Father?"

Will lifts his head and looks down as the life flickers from Jem's eyes. His body becomes deadweight in Will's arms as Jem finally lets go.

This had always been the plan, that Jem die in Will's arms, because to die in battle, protecting the man he loved, was a heroic death indeed. Jem's death would be used as an example of heroism, bravery, and unending loyalty to his parabatai, but in this moment, it only feels like Will's heart had been torn out and would follow Jem's soul wherever it may go.

"Ave atque vale," Will whispers. He lifts his hand and gently closes Jem's eyes. Time passes, but Jem never comes back to life.

The rain finally starts to fall harder but Will remains on the ground, his head bowed, his sobs silent and painful. The sun starts to rise behind clouds. Will looks up at the pewter gray sky and lets the rain blur and sting his eyes. He can't help but think that nothing will ever be the same, ever again.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: I'm sorry for your loss. Review as you wish. Epilogue to follow by the weekend.<strong>


	22. Epilogue

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! The sequel to this will show up in about a week. At the end of this epilogue you will be able to click forward to read a teaser from the sequel. As always, feel free to let me know what you think of everything, and look forward to the sequel. Thank you again for reading, and remember that I own none of these characters!**

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

After Jem's eyes close for the last time, Will sits with him on the grass in Hyde Park and holds him close, even as the rain and wind kick up. Then, he holds Jem closer, determined to keep the silver haired boy warm and dry, shielding him for the worst of things as Jem always did for him. When Will's knees began to ache from his position on the ground, he finally stands up, takes Jem in his arms, and begins to walk home.

It is a long, torturous walk back to the Institute. Will knows he could stop and summon back up to assist with this, but he runs the risk of getting Gabriel Lightwood and besides, it's better this way, that Will bring Jem home one last time. Still, every step is difficult. Will has the strength to carry Jem; it's something else making this walk the hardest walk Will has ever had to take.

Will's body is at the breaking point when he finally walks into the front gates. His arms feel ready to give out as he climbs the Institute's front steps. He starts to cry, finally, when he has to lay Jem out in front of the door so he can ring the door bell. The bell chimes through the Institute, and after a minute, the door opens. Henry looks out, sees only Will, and his expression darkens almost instantly.

"I'm so sorry," Will says. "I lost him, Henry. I've lost him." Hot tears begin to stream down his face. Henry looks at Will's feet, and he puts a hand over his chest in shock before he kneels beside Jem and places two fingers against his throat. "No. He's… he took his last breathes in my arms. He went peacefully. So peacefully." Henry stands up and pulls the door bell three more times, then scoops Jem into his arms and carries him inside. Will follows.

Will can hear footsteps upstairs, and somehow manages to recall that the door bell is only rung three times when there has been a death. It doesn't matter. Will follows Henry to the Infirmary, where they lay Jem's body on a clean white bed. Charlotte hurries in, still tying a dressing gown around her waist. She makes a low cry in her throat and touches Will on the cheek, then goes to the bed and takes Jem's hand.

"How?" She asks.

"An Aracnidon demon. The same one that got me," Will says. "It happened quickly. One minute he was there…." The next minute, he was lying in the Infirmary. Will clutches as his sides with his hands and takes a few breathes. "Tell me he's not really gone." Charlotte doesn't answer and Will knows the truth. He sinks to a seat on another bed and for the next few minutes can only focus on inhaling, exhaling, and keeping his grief from suffocating himself.

Charlotte studies the darts still buried in Jem's chest, then goes to a cabinet, gets some forceps and a metal bowl, and walks back over to the side of the bed. She instructs Will to go clean himself up and says she'll only be a minute, and then he can come back. Will looks at Jem, weighing his options, and then leaves the Infirmary. He goes down to the locker room and strips off his armor. He changes into the clothes he was wearing before they went out, then pauses to wash his face and hands. When he returns to the Infimary, Charlotte is crying as she sits beside Henry, but she stops when Will walks in and takes a seat beside her.

The three of them sit for a little while, and then, finally, Charlotte stands up and leaves the room. She returns after a few minutes with a book, and Will knows without her saying that it is a sacred text that must be followed exactly. She would have already summoned the Silent Brothers and they will arrive at any time to take Jem to the Silent City. Since it is already sunrise, the funeral will take place tomorrow at sunrise, in 24 hours. As for now, it is the duty of the Clave to prepare Jem's body for burial.

Henry leaves the room to tell Tessa, Jessamine, and Sophie the news. Charlotte opens the book, looks up at Will, and then returns her gaze to the book. Will reaches over, takes Jem's hand in his own, holds it to his mouth, and breathes in Jem's familiar scent. Charlotte lights a few candles to give the room a feeling of warmth and comfort. She walks to the side of the bed opposite Will and her eyes fill with tears before she reaches down and unbuckles the shoulder of Jem's armor. Will unbuckles the other side and they lift it off of Jem.

Mercifully, there's little blood soaked into Jem's shirt, and minimal poison. Will unbuttons Jem's shirt and Charlotte helps bring Jem to a sitting position so Will can remove Jem's shirt and under shirt. He thinks about how many times he stripped the clothing from Jem's body and never thought he would ever have to do it this way.

Charlotte goes into the bathroom and pours some water into a basin as Will attends to the more personal matters of undressing Jem. First, Will removes Jem's boots and drops them to the floor, then galvanizes himself, unbuttons Jem's trousers and pulls them down. They slip down over Jem's hips easily and Will folds them onto a bed. He takes a towel and puts it across Jem's hips to protect his modesty, then tells Charlotte she can come back out.

Working in complete silence, Will washes Jem's body as Charlotte assists. Midway through, the water gets cold, and Will demands that more warm water be brought, because he doesn't want Jem to get cold. Charlotte goes to get more water, and Will touches Jem's hand, only to find it already cold. When Charlotte returns, Will is holding Jem's hand to his chest and sobbing. Charlotte offers to finish what Will started, but Will refuses, stands up, and continues to wash the blood and poison away.

When Jem is finally clean again, Will and Charlotte dress him in white satin. Charlotte leaves and returns with a small wooden box containing Jem's ring, his father's dagger, and a jade necklace belonging to his mother. She places the box on the bed beside Jem.

"Everyone wants to know…" Charlotte whispers. Will nods. Charlotte goes to the Infimary door and opens it. Tessa walks in first, followed by Henry, Sophie, and Jessamine. They're all in their pajamas and look like a bunch of lunatics dressed in white. Will exhales and stands up quickly.

"You can have a moment to say your…" Will begins, and then he nearly collapses. Tessa grabs him and he's shocked to find her crying as hard as he is. For several long moments, Will sobs against Tessa's shoulder, holding her so tight, he thinks he might never let her go. Sophie grabs Will by the waist and holds him close as well, and then Jessamine joins, and they all share the grief as only a family can.

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><p>When everyone finally leaves, Will takes a seat beside the bed and takes Jem's hand. No matter how long Will holds it, it never warms up. Hours pass in what feels like minutes. Occasionally, Will opens his eyes to find that he has fallen asleep with Jem's hand against his cheek. He hears people arriving at the Institute, but they never come to the Infirmary.<p>

Charlotte offers breakfast and Will refuses. She offers tea, a snack, and lunch, but Will only cares about the boy lying in the bed in front of him. Sometimes, Will kneels on the floor and lays his head on Jem's pillow and pretends it's just like any other day.

But it's not.

It is mid afternoon when the Infirmary door creaks open and Charlotte walks in, flanked by two Silent Brothers.

"No," Will says, "just a little longer." He brushes a bit of hair from Jem's forehead. "Please, no."

"Will, there are rules that must be followed. He must…" Charlotte begins. Henry appears behind her. They both look exhausted and sad. Jem has been gone nearly seven hours but Will feels like he only brought Jem home an hour before.

"No," Will says. "No, Charlotte…" Henry approaches and hold his hand out. Will looks at the Silent Brothers. "I won't let you burn him. I won't let him burn."

"William," Henry says, "come with me." Henry walks around the side of the bed and places a hand on Will's shoulder. Will pulls away, but Charlotte is there.

"Say goodbye," Charlotte says. Will shakes his head. "Will, say your goodbyes."

"No, no, no…." Will says, still shaking his head. Charlotte grabs him by the chin and looks into Will's eyes.

"Say goodbye." Charlotte says. "This pain won't last forever. I promise." Will turns back to Jem's body and takes in the sight of the silver haired boy for one last time. Then, he leans over and gently kisses Jem on the cheek.

"If Heaven exists, I'll see you there," Will says. He looks at Jem's sweet and perfect face once more, and then backs away slowly. He turns around and runs out of the Infirmary, but he doesn't stop in the hallway.

Will feels like he might suffocate if he spends one more minute in the Institute, so he runs out the door, only, he doesn't stop on the front steps either. It's raining now, as a storm blew in sometime during the day, but the threat of getting wet doesn't stop Will. He runs out of the front gate, down the street, and keeps running. In time he makes it to the town house beside the Thames. Will runs up the front steps and bangs on the front door.

The door opens a few seconds later. Magnus looks out, a scowl on his face. "It's too late, Will. I'm leaving for Paris tomorrow morning. There's nothing you can say or do to-"

"Stay," Will chokes out. "I need you to stay."

"Get in here," Magnus says, and he pulls Will inside. "I said my goodbyes. It's better this way…"

"I need you to stay!" Will screams. "I need one fucking constant in my life is that so much to ask?"

"You have Jem," Magnus says. Will fights the urge to vomit on the floor. He slams his hands into his stomach instead and sinks to his knees.

"Jem's gone," Will says.

"I'm sure he's just upset that…"

"He's gone, Magnus," Will says, and when he looks up at Magnus, hot tears are raining down his face. "He died early this morning in Hyde Park." Will can still see Jem's body leap in front of his. Can still see how there was no blood, just brief pain and nothing after that.

"He's dead?" Magnus asks, very quietly, and Will finally breaks down in hysteria. He sinks his fingers into the sides of his head and can only make a few high pitched gasps instead of suitable breaths.

"I loved him…. So very much," Will says. Magnus kneels beside him on the floor beside Will and holds him tightly.

"Let's go to the parlor," Magnus says, and he pulls Will to his feet. They walk down to the parlor, and curl up on the couch. Magnus holds Will as tightly as possible until Will finally stops crying.

"So I need you to stay," Will says, "just for… a little while."

"Whatever you need," Magnus says, "I am here for as long as you need me."

* * *

><p>The funeral is an awful ordeal. Will spends the first part of it standing with Charlotte and Henry, accepting condolences from people he barely knows and trying to ignore the boy dressed in white who's eyes are bound with white fabric. Jem is laid out on a plank of wood, his arms crossed on his chest. He's wearing his family ring on his right hand, which is also clutching his father's hunting dagger. His left hand has his mother's jade beaded necklace wrapped around it. It is exactly what Jem wanted.<p>

Every time Will looks at Jem, he starts to cry, so finally, he stops turning around. He'll be unable to look away, soon enough.

When the service starts, Will sits between Tessa and Sophie, holding their hands. He thinks about how many services he has sat through like this with Jem and then realizes that Jem isn't beside him. When Will lays his head on Tessa's shoulder and sobs, she rests her head against his and shares his pain.

Henry gives a beautiful eulogy that celebrates Jem's life. Songs are sung, just a few that Jem knew the words to. There is a final moment of silence. Then Three Clave members take torches and ignite the wood beneath the funeral pyre Jem rests on. Henry arrives at Will's side, along with Charlotte, and Will knows why they are there. He gives Charlotte one of his hands, and Henry the other, and he forces himself to watch the orange flames lick up the wood, towards Jem's body. The scent of incense becomes heavy in the air as the room becomes smoky, and Will gags on the scent, but nothing comes up. He sees Jem once more within the smoke and flames, and then Will presses his face into Henry's chest. He retches again and again, choking on his tears and the smell of Jem burning, until finally, many long minutes later, it is finally over.

They return to the Institute and Will spends the next five days of the mourning period in bed. Tessa stops by occasionally but they only avoid eye contact as they cry, so Tessa stops visiting Will's room.

After that, Magnus moves in, perhaps at Charlotte's request. He brings books, pictures from all over the world, and sweets, but Will finds his comfort with his head in Magnus's lap as he lays on the floor of the alcove he and Jem made their own. Magnus runs his hands through Will's hair and just talks about whatever he feels like talking about that particular day, and Will just lays there until the next meal is served.

Church, Jem's cat, is inconsolable. He spends every day wandering the Institute, yowling for his master. He begins to bring dead mice to the door to Jem's room, and also spends every night pacing, crying out and digging beneath the door to Jem's room. Finally, one night, Will climbs out of bed and goes to open the door. The cat walks into Jem's room, jumps onto the bed, and curls up on the extra blanket folded on the end of the bed, as he always did when Jem was away. Will takes in the room, the cat, and the bed, before he pulls back to covers and climbs into the bed. He buries his face in Jem's pillow and cries until dawn.

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><p>Four months pass. Everyone manages to move on, but Will still wakes up in the morning, eats barely anything, and then goes to the alcove to spend another day immersed in his own sorrow. Then, one day, while lying on the floor with his head in Magnus's lap, Will hears footsteps on the Library steps. Sophie appears at the doorway. She's no longer dressed in her maid's uniform, as she no longer has to be a maid. Jem has left her enough money for her to make a good life for herself, but she remains at the Institute, since she considers everyone there her family.<p>

"Get up," Sophie says. Will looks at Sophie, certain she's crazy. She took Jem's death just as awful as he did, and she could barely climb from her bed for two months. But now, she's been moving about the Institute with a glowing sort of happiness Will only finds obnoxious. "Get up! I'm going to need your help with this."

Will rolls onto his other side and faces away from Sophie. Sophie grabs Will's hand and presses it to her stomach. Will wants to pull away and recoil, but there, beneath her dress, he feels something bumping her stomach… from the inside. He sits up quickly and puts both hands on her stomach.

"Sophie!" Will exclaims. "How could you…?"

"The night before he told me he loved you," Sophie explains. "The night of the wedding?" Will shakes his head. It can't be true, and yet it is.

As Will feels the kicks and punches of the tiny baby growing inside of Sophie, he can't help but think that something very precious has been lost, but perhaps, something precious has also been found.

On what would have been Jem's 18th birthday, the day after Sophie's announcement, Will wakes up before dawn to find that somehow, during the night, winter arrived at the Institute. Soon, snow will blanket the ground outside and turn London into a city composed of gray and white. All of the floors in the Institute will become unbearably cold, and walking any further than to the dining room for meals will become torturous.

Jem had loved and hated the winter. He said that it was beautiful, but also said that the coldness made his bones ache. It had been no surprise that Charlotte had given Jem a room with a fireplace, because while he never complained about anything else, he did complain about how drafty the Institute would become in the winter. When it got this cold, Will would get out of bed and go into Jem's room to find Jem tossing blankets onto the floor and stoking some logs in the fire place. They would lay in front of the fire and half the time not even take their clothes off. Somehow, the weather just became another perfect excuse to lay together.

Now, Will climbs from his bed, goes to the steamer trunk at the end of his bed, withdraws a knapsack from it, and begins to fill it with basic necessities. When finished, he gets dressed, drops his Herondale ring into the top drawer of his dresser, casts one more look around the room, and then leaves the room. He walks down to Magnus's room and goes in to find Church curled up at the end of the bed and Magnus still covered with blankets, blinking back sleep.

Magnus tosses back the covers and moves over, offering Will the no doubt warm depression his body just left. Will has struggled to sleep through the night for a while now, and Magnus has gotten used to welcoming him into his bed. Just like Jem used to.

"No," Will says. "I'm going to Paris. Are you coming with me?"

"You're running away?" Magnus asks.

Will looks out of the window to see white out conditions, and just like the smoke in the Silent City, Will wonders if it's possible if it's possible to be suffocated in such a large place.

"I can't be here without him," Will replies.


	23. New Story Teaser

**Author's Note: Check back soon! The teaser was deleted to make way for the new story which will post in a few days. I'm sorry for the inconvenience!**


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